a note to polygamists

I personally do not think a man can ever be fair when he marries more than one.

Yes, in the Qur'an it says that polygamy is allowed, but many ignore the BIG ASS DISCLAIMER that comes with it. It says that you are only allowed to marry more than one if you can be fair upon your wives. The question is, can mere mortals living in the 21st century ever be fair to two wives (or more)? My answer would be HELL NO.

Oh well, to each his own.

The past couple of months have been rather psychologically stressing me out. Hence the need for the dive trips to calm me down. At times, I stepped out of myself and float up and look at the bigger picture. No, it has nothing to do with my marriage or The Diver.

It has something to do with polygamy and a family member. Let's just say that I am happy for my family if they're happy with the path that they've chosen. But, an advice to polygamists and wannabes, if you have the balls to marry another, please also have the balls to tell your wife that you've married or are going to marry. Be a man for God's sake! I once told a raging abusive ex-husband that I was not in love with him anymore, and that I was in love with another person.

He could've killed me at that very moment, but yes dear readers, I HAD THE BALLS TO DO IT. That's all that matters.

Now this polygamy issue in my family has caused severe distress to some parties and awkwardness to some, and this all stems out of a marriage that was kept secret. You don't know what trouble you give people ... it's so menyusahkan.

I picked out a new journal for 2010 at MPH the other day (which The Diver paid for, thank you!) - I was thinking of a Moleskine initially but settled with this from Peter Pauper, it has more meaning in life now:

double whammy tioman weekend!

Monsoon diving.

That was what we did last weekend in Tioman. Being an avid diver, The Diver loves it because according to him, you get to see bigger stuff. And yes we did see a big reef cuttlefish. And another group saw a frikkin whale shark too! But aside from that, I also suffered a gash on my knee while climbing up the jetty stairs after surfacing during the night dive.

Sakit!!!!!

The Diver kata .. "Biasalah.. Diver..." apa2 injury that I sustained semuanya dia cakap macam tu... "Biasalah... Diver..." Dulu he was a bit sympathetic la... sekarang mungkin dia nak train aku jadi Commando...maybe by the time I hit 40 boleh masuk askar...

And oh, I also did my first ever night dive last Saturday. It was scary cuz viz was super teruk but fun nonetheless.

I did the unthinkable before we left Tioman last week, I told The Diver, "Jom diving lagi next week?"

Remind me to never ask that question in November, December or January next time please!

And so we left all our dive equipment there at the dive centre and decided to return again this weekend.....

For more monsoon diving! The weather's gonna be crappy, the sea is gonna be choppy, and The Diver has bought me a seasick band (I pray to God it works)... and we are off to Mersing again, tonight to catch tomorrow morning's ferry to Tioman!

God speed, I told myself. And please dear Sea, be kind to me....

And these pics were from last weekend...
This ugly mama posed for us... and we got real up close and personal...


The Diver and I, and Tioman in good weather

My stepdaughter Farhanah, who's sitting for her SPM very soon!

My first night dive. Entah apa yang aku suluh. Viz was bad!


We found this guy during our night dive. It ran away as soon as I thought of Chilli Crabs.

BOO!

Bukan Boooooooooo!!! untuk pasukan Manchester United (kalau perempuan takde breast bolehlah dipanggil Man-Chester jugak)!

Boo! It's my second favourite non-Islamic celebration after Christmas - Halloween! I categorise my celebration between Islamic and non-Islamic, lest people think that I am pagan and don't celebrate Islamic celebrations. This year is the second time that The Diver has made our Halloween celebration a blast. Well last year, he carved Jack o' Lanterns out of tomatoes. It was a last minute thing okay...Halloween Express 2008 - we also had The Devil's Omelette!

But this year, oh this year, we had REAL pumpkins, although not the shiny orange ones that are sold at dirt cheap prices back in South Bend, Indiana. We had local pumpkins, the one that's sold in Jusco and it was affordable. That will do lah aku bukannya la hard up sangat kat pumpkins kan.
Thanks to The Diver for painstakingly making the Jack o' Lanterns...

We had a Halloween do cum Gombak4Life's birthday party at HRH's residence last week, and it was fun for all.
Yunus was a "Pirate VCD" while Juan was.. err.. a reluctant pirate...

Mwahs to the pumpkin!

Tengok kat belakang ada Momok dok sibuk cakap telefon...

And tonight before midnight, we shall leave for Mersing for tomorrow morning's ferry to Tioman. Amidst the Annual Report, I'm taking time off for a bit, only a bit, of diving in Tioman.

Happy Halloween people! Trick or Treat!

blaming Facebookery

This blog is almost dead, but not quite.

I've willed every ounce of my being to keep it alive, although barely. But I shall keep it alive, because I do need to write, or else I'll completely lose it. And when I say IT, I don't even completely know what IT is...

And no, I didn't start a blog just to "be part of the in thing" or "because everyone else has one" unlike SOME PEOPLE. Siapa makan babi terasalah babinya.

Anyway, write I shall. Since I have not been updating this baby for close to two months, I shall write about the reason why I had stopped updating.

I blame it totally on this evil, evil social networking thingy called Facebookery. As of today, I am a complete Facebook Bitch married to a total Facebook All Star. Status updates, photo comments, Facebook Notes, plus all the games that I'm hooked on like Restaurant City, Barn Buddy, Farmville, Pet Society and of late, Cafe World - those are the things to be blamed for my non-performance in the blogging department.

This has also resulted in several bouts of writer's block that has kept me off blogging.

But I shall continue to write. I promise. Only until I finish serving up my meals on Cafe World!!!

ramadhan, kampung style

I miss spending Ramadhan in Batu Pahat, at my grandmother's place.

I grew up with my Arwah Maktok since I was a baby until my primary school days, and I'm glad I did because if I didn't I wouldn't know what the meaning of berpuasa in a kampung meant. At that time, my parents were in JB and being the eldest, born to parents who are just starting out in life (ie. mak aku tak reti nak jaga baby yang melalak-lalak sepanjang malam) I was given to my Maktok to be taken care of (not in the mafia sense of "taken care" OK!!!)

When Ramadhan comes, Maktok will always make sure that she makes starters and desserts to accompany the main meal of iftar. This was when she was younger, and hadn't experienced her knee problems yet. She had Auntie Noh and Auntie Endon to help her too (my two unmarried aunties who were staying with her). So in a household of 3 women, you can imagine what good food I enjoyed.

The best thing was the exchange of kuih / lauk / starters with the neigbours. And I was the designated delivery girl, the one who sends all this to our neighbours. When I gave our neighbours Maktok's treats, they will then "exchange" it with something of theirs. And I know which house yang masakan dia sedap and which house suffers from a BAD CHEF.

When iftar comes, we usually have about 8 different offerings from 8 different households! There was no need for a Bazaar Ramadhan back then.

And life was so simple and good!

This Ramadhan, I'm thankful to be spending it with The Diver and our kids, and also our dear beloved friends.

A happy and blessed Ramadhan, everyone!

lest I forget...

Waking up with you at seven,
Is like waking up in heaven.
Nothing that I want than a touch that calms,
Like your touch when you're in my arms

Your body warmed me through the night
We sleep entwined till the early light
Your love flowed through me more and more
And I love you and truly adore...

I truly miss the person who wrote this.

And I pray to God that he will forever remain this way.

my inner SeaDemon, unleashed...

Is that apprehension or fear in your eyes, JZ? Going for the Adventure Deep Dive.

On the 3rd of August 2009, I was officially certified as an Open Water Diver. With a firm handshake from my instructor Nafie, of the Seahorse Dive Centre in Perhentian, and a "Welcome to the club" greet, I felt as if I've achieved something that I never thought I could.

In 1998, while I was working as a Web Content editor - Amanda, my web designer friend and I had worked on a project for Micheal Patrick Wong, a brilliant underwater photographer for an online version of his book, Malaysia Beneath the Waves. In the few instances that Mr Wong met us, he talked ever so magically about the underwater world. From that day on, my interest was piqued.

A marriage, three kids and a divorce later, I stumbled upon a blog by John F Seademon called Narcaholic, hosted at Wordpress. Here was a single father writing about all sorts of stuff from diving to politics to his kids as well as his heartbreaks. I first commented on his blog on September 4 2007, in one of his "great journey" entries. And who would have known that today, this person and I are man and wife.

We got married in March of 2009, and most people ask me why had I not dived any earlier. In fact, The Diver (as he is now known in my blog) has always been gently encouraging me to start diving ever since we started going out in March of 2008.

A few reasons why - first of all, I've started growing flabs ever since I went out with The Diver, dari hari ke hari lemak perut berlapis2. So yes, I have this inferiority thing about donning a wetsuit (although The Diver always points out to me "see sayang, she's fatter" whenever a diver fatter than I walk in front of us).

Second reason adalah, kalau aku tak pass Open Water tu, adalah kemaluan besar. My stepdaughter Hana did it when she was 13. And at 17, she's an Advanced OW already. Cipetkan kalau aku gagal. So, second reason adalah ketakutan yang teramat sangat.

Lastly, the MAIN reason was purely selfish and emo (akibat 5 tahun makan nasi kawah) - I hated the fact that he used to dive with his ex girlfriend. I just simply detest the fact that she has dived with him and I don't want to be another Dive Buddy that signs off in his dive log with Love you or Miss you.. HAHAHAH!! THERE YOU HAVE IT!! Bongok tak? Yes, I'm psycho like that.

I don't wanna be a freaking REPLACEMENT. I know they used to dive together, so I told myself, the only way that I will take up diving is after I'm married to The Diver. Somehow, everytime he talks about his underwater sojourns, I'm reminded of his blog entry when he described a dive with her. Am I jealous? NO. But I just like to be bitter about things.

That's just me. Benda yang tak patut aku menyampahkan, aku menyampah. But hey, I'm just being honest here OK.

But then after our marriage, and growing up a bit.. I finally decided to give it a go. And I love diving with The Diver. He makes me feel safe and he knows what creatures I like to see underwater. It does make our relationship more meaningful, and of course make our island holidays more fun because we are together ALL THE TIME :)

And yes, I sign off as his Dive Buddy. But I don't call him Seademon "Dearie" or even sign off with a "love you" or "miss you". Itu hanya untuk orang2 yang memakai sequinned dress bila berada di Tioman sahaja.

On our first dive together at Perhentian's Tukun Laut, I wrote in his log:

I will remember this dive

For the rest of my life...

LAME. But original, no? :P

The Diver and I buddying for the first time at Tukun Laut.


The Diver and one of his great hugs... and my hair gets all curly everytime I come out of the water.. This was taken right before my third dive (final one for OW) and after I loaded up on 100 plus and Red Bull.