JazzmaTazz

hitched

2012-01-10T18:28:00.005+08:00

Happy Together

I was too self-centred in December I did not even mention that a dear friend of mine, Komar, whom I met through Aiz got married that month.

It was special because he got married at 42 (not many people do) and we initially thought he never would!

The reception on the groom's side was held at Guar Chempedak, Komar's hometown. So on that Christmas weekend we headed north and put up at the Regency Jerai Resort, as per Komar's recommendation, perched on the tip of Mount Jerai. We were hesitant as first since the last time The Diver went there it was still called a "rest house". But now it's a full fledged resort, with a Spa (that we made full use of)! And the view was exquisite and as far as the eyes can see.

Congratulations again to Komar and Fid, and may it be a fairytale for both of you happily ever after. It's just so lovely seeing them happy together, and that one moment all the trials and tribulations of being in marriage vanished from my silly mind.

May you be blessed with lots of love, laughs and kids in tow.

hello 2012

2012-01-09T22:33:00.005+08:00

Sometimes I wish the Mayans' prediction would come true. Just for the sole reason that my loved ones and I can all die at the same time!

What a morbid way to start a 2012 post but that's how I felt today. All negativities aside, my aim this year is to stay calmer and mature in spite of all the things that are going on at home or at the office.

I officially turned 37 on the 27th of December, so that's good. Should the world end in December 2012 I wouldn't live to see 38.

Finally, all the kids are in REAL school already, with Yunus coming back home today telling me he wishes that he's in Year Three instead of One. Ambitious lad. My stepdaughter who's staying with me will sit for her SPM, so this year is an important year for her and I wish her all the best.

The Diver and I went through several ups and mostly downs in 2011 and I hope things will be better this year. Being a woman, and a sensitive one at that, there are things that haunt me still and that I believe has caused some strains in our relationship. Believe me, I wish I was stronger and can just erase the things that hurt. Having said that, I hope both of us can change and tolerate each other more this year, because at the end of the day, our quarrels don't usually last more than 24 hours. And I know I can't live without him more than a day.

Here's to a better 2012.

And I leave you with a picture of when the sun has set on December 31st 2011, taken from a hotel room where we spent our New Year's eve.

december

2011-12-22T12:29:00.002+08:00

For the past few years, December, which I will always openly admit to be my favorite month - my birthday, Christmas, Year-End sales, New Year's eve et al, has always brought heartaches and challenges.

This year, a recurrent wound presented itself in the form that is almost unimaginable to my emotional state.

And I just have to remind myself, time and again, that I am a fighter.

seksualiti pun nak dimerdekakan?

2011-11-03T21:56:00.007+08:00

Let me open up this posting by professing my love to the Lesbian, Gay, Bi and TransGender (LGBT) friends in my circle. They have been the loveliest bunch, and most times, the most sensitive and supportive when I need shoulders to cry on.

I love them to bits.

But I do think that this Seksualiti Merdeka event coming up will only breed more animosity than understanding between the straights and the LGBT communities. Why do I say that?

Look around us. We are in Malaysia, we are predominantly Muslim, generally conservative and still culturally green. We still argue about the haram and halalness of Tabasco Sauce for God's sake! So why do you think that people will embrace Seksualiti Merdeka with open arms?

To most Malaysians, this event is quite a shocker. Even Buletin Utama called it a pesta seks bebas or something to that extent. See how the objective of Seksualiti Merdeka is not understood or skewed before it even started?

As Malaysians, I think we have been pretty tolerant of LGBTs. Case in point would be Azwan Ali (I don't even know which category this dude is in) and the many celebrities that are known to be gay - they still can cari makan peacefully in this country. And most women prefer their Mak Andams to be "Pak Andams" instead because admit it, transgenders have the creativity of a woman and the strength of a man. They are blessed that way.

So what Merdeka are they referring to? Aren't we Merdeka enough? If you talk about kissing in public, not even LGBTs get stared at - even straight couples aren't expected to do that because it's just against our culture.

Pang Khee Teik, one of the founders of Seksualiti Merdeka tweeted "While many LGBTs are kicked fm homes, abused, blackmailed, arrested, KEEPING QUIET IS NOT AN OPTION."

First of all being kicked from homes, abused, blackmailed, arrested are not only LGBT-specific issues. Arrested? Kalau kau transvestites menjual kat Chow Kit maybe so, but so far even in my little quaint hometown of Batu Pahat, cross dressers can lepak all they want and not be arrested.

And to hold this event during Aidiladha celebrations? It's just poor taste. If you can't respect other people's feelings, then why do you expect them to respect yours?

So there.

Your sexuality is your choice. But remember, you can't impose your beliefs or your sexuality upon others. You can't force people to accept who you are.

And most of all, sexuality is about what happens behind closed doors, so just let us keep it that way.

turn me on, turn me off

2011-11-02T23:25:00.004+08:00

I tried blogging from my iPad using BlogPress. But that app turned out crap. Oh well.

Anyway, back to what I wanted to write about. I think I've had enough of being pissed with Cik Kam, because it will just put a damper on everything else, and I'm sure people don't wanna be reading about things that are just downright depressing.

Let's just go back to when I write about the sheer idiocy and kebodohsombongan Cik Kam, like my earlier posts. That's more fun.

OK a couple of weeks back, I had a friend that I met on Twitter, Jaja (of www.jajaradzwan.com fame) over at my place to do a hairwrap. It looked like this:

Cool eh?

So then the next day when I went to the office, Cik Kam pointed at my hair and said, "Ada something la kat rambut kau!" I looked at her and then just replied curtly, "Oh that's a hairwrap."

That's it. I didn't want to prolong the conversation, thinking that I want to spare her the embarassment of asking more stupid questions. Because every time we engage in some form of conversation, she will end up making an ass of a fool out of herself. EVERY TIME.

Kawan tak puas hati, and Cik Kam added, "Itu untuk apa? Buat apa pakai hairwrap tu?"

At this point I got pretty annoyed because she was in fact, interrupting my conversation with a friend.

OKlah, kau nak sangat kan kena ngan aku. So I replied, "Hairwrap ni, bila kau tarik sekali, aku TURN ON (tugging once on my hairwrap). Bila tarik dua kali, aku TURN OFF. (tugging twice)"

Her jaw dropped, and looked at me in awe and amazement. Macam nampak alien.

Aku repeat lagi statement TURN ON, TURN OFF tu. This time, aku sebut sebijik sebijik macam ajar toddler bercakap.

Mulut Cik Kam still ternganga and on her face I could see that she was thinking, how can a mere mortal be turned on and off with a tug of a mishmash of colorful thread.

I walked away.

Hampeh kau Cik Kam, mesti malam tu kau Google pasal hairwrap, kan?

crap

2011-11-02T21:30:00.001+08:00

testicles

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

cik kam strikes back

2011-10-31T13:44:00.007+08:00

Hari ni aku meletup.

I guess I've had it with dealing with Cik Kam's stupidity and arrogance. This was all pent up anger. Had it been someone else who had done what she did earlier this morning, maybe I'll just dismiss it completely. But it was her... it was Cik Kam.. the only person yang membolehkan aku keluar segala weapons of mass destruction aka NECLEUR weapon bak kata fatso from Kuantan tu.

Actually over the past year or so, lifestyle si Kam has changed quite a lot. Lifestyle ye, bukan STYLE. Style kam dot com masih sama. She's a bit on the lavish side, eh, bukan a bit.. A LOT. Lots of people at the office were getting suspicious of where she was getting all the funds from. London, Paris, Jakarta, Singapore, Bali all in a year. Ada orang kata hanky panky, kickbacks, etc. Personally, aku rasa it's a combination of a whole lot of things.

So that one, I'll just leave it to the one Up There to judge lah. But yes, fishy yes very very.

Anyway what pisses me off is more of her incapability to use her brain when she works. This won't have an effect on me if she's just a clerical staff or a non-exec. Masalahnya, dia ni sudah suruh boss promote diri dia as Senior Exec. Hamek. Department BD tau, specialty - Marketing. If i'm not mistaken lah.

Nak kata pergi marketing kat Pasar Tani pun aku rasa dia tak pernah. Inikan lagi nak buat Marketing untuk a company such as this.

Takpelah, kalau baghal sangat pun, kalau ada team effort apa salahnya. There are a lot of donkeys working here anyway, but they're friendly, down-to-earth, wiling to learn donkeys. But she will never show that she is bodoh, konon tau buat semua.. Whenever she needs help, she will email as if she's giving out instructions...even to people who are more senior than her.

So that's why bila dia slack sikit je, it sends my blood boiling like mad.

Tak payah cerita lagilah what happened pagi tadi...cukup la aku bagi backgrounder kenapa aku makin nyampah kat beruk ni right now.

To be continued lah ye....

goodbye bali hai

2011-10-18T22:41:00.003+08:00

When I first started this blog, it was a place for me to vent, as I was going through a bad patch in my life. After a while it evolved to a bland online journal of sorts, a record of the things that I do, places that I visit. But now, it seems like I only update my blog when I'm pissed with people.

This blog has gotten from bad to worse!

Anyhow, it is already almost end of October and last weekend we closed off diving season in Tioman since monsoon is around the corner.

I have two more working weeks and then we are off to the place where I truly truly can find solace.... Mabul - Sipadan!

kera jongos

2011-08-17T22:03:00.003+08:00

So earlier this evening mah Betch BBMed me, "Noks, ngape ko gaduh ngan si KJ pulak dah?"

And last night one of my girls Tweeted, "apasal kau gaduh ngan dia? Of all the tweets he has chosen to reply yours. I wonder..."

I even got a "WTF? Apo dah jadi?" from Brother Bear.

Yes people, I got dissed by the great Khairy Jamaluddin.

And the statements above showed the disbelief of my friends when in fact, KJ got pissed at me. I am in all honesty, a non-political working mother with children enough to fit an MPV, and whose favorite pastimes at home are cooking, Glee and CSI. To de-stress I go scuba diving.

Now what, pray tell, can a mere nobody do to piss KJ off. Honestly, not much.

It all started last night, when I read KJ's Tweet addressed to G Palanivel,

Khairykj Khairy Jamaluddin
Jadi Menteri terus bunuh bakat muda? Wassup @GPalanivel? RT @mkini_bm: Setiausaha Pemuda MIC digantung 12 bulan

And I thought OK, that's not a nice way to address someone of that rank. But hey, Twitter is where people can express their views, in ebonics or Thug-speak or even Rempit talk. Who cares.

Then I saw this on my timeline:

SangSapurba Wan Mohd Shahrir
Eloknya @Khairykj tak perlu campur urusan dalam MIC.

Khairykj Khairy Jamaluddin
@SangSapurba Saya Pengerusi Pemuda Barisan Nasional. Faham?

Ergh. By this time I was like.. ooohkkaaayyyyy... what's up with this guy? And in all honesty and out of my curiosity I'd like to know what Gawd almighty power does this Pengerusi Pemuda BN has that gives him the green light to sound like a prick. And so this ensued:

jasmeenz Mrs SeaDemon
So? RT @Khairykj @SangSapurba Saya Pengerusi Pemuda Barisan Nasional. Faham?

I suppose just by that one word SO? I pressed the wrong button. He went apeshit (no pun intended).

Khairykj Khairy Jamaluddin
@jasmeenz If you have to ask that question, you don't know anything about BN. Unless was a cheapshot out of hatred. Typical.

jasmeenz Mrs SeaDemon
@Khairykj My family are BN supporters so it can't be out of hatred. It could be out of disbelief at yr recent Tweets.

Khairykj Khairy Jamaluddin
@jasmeenz No, I doubt that. I know where you're coming from. Not difficult to figure that out.

jasmeenz Mrs SeaDemon
@Khairykj apasal you paranoid sangat ni lah!

It ended there.

What do you think? PARANOIA MUCH? I would very much think so. Those two Tweets are just lines of accusations that first, I hate him (or BN) and second I'm this manipulative person that has a hidden agenda. He also assumed that I did not know anything about BN, which is quite an insult. And to add to that, even after I said that my family members are BN supporters and that I was in disbelief over his Tweets, he refused to believe me!

I doubt that he's gonna read this blog, but if he does, when I asked SO? I was expecting him to give me an intelligent answer like, "Because the Pengerusi Pemuda BN can bla bla bla bla..."

Hey, I expect that from an Oxford and UCL grad! Aku ni pergi Jock school je kat US, mana la pandai nak berkata2 macam KJ.

I have a lot more to write but I don't want to waste my energy on such triviality. How do I feel? Initially I was pissed because of the way he replied to me but then again today as I stirred the Mee Bandung gravy in the pot an hour before iftar, I felt sad.

I felt sad because when I first read about KJ years ago, I thought here was the intelligent, Lelaki Melayu Terakhir in UMNO and maybe, just maybe, this will be the turning point in UMNO history. And even during the Sleepy Dwarf's era when KJ received a lot of bad rap, I gave him that slight benefit of the doubt.... So whenever people diss him in my mind I secretly wondered (oh but he's so well-learned, and intelligent there must be something good about him)

And today I am completely disillusioned. KJ is in fact, deep down, a REMPIT after all.

annoyed with self-centredness

2011-06-10T23:44:00.002+08:00

Some friends you tolerate, some you love but tolerate their shortcomings, and some you just drift away from.

Over the years, friends will develop some traits that you dislike, but heck they're still your friends. And sometimes the trait has always been in them from the day you first know them but this trait will amplify itself as we all grow older.

I suppose my pet peeve (besides the sensitivity thing) is also people who are self-centred.

These people think that the world revolves around them. It's okay to THINK that way. But it's not okay to act it out.

So go ahead, you can have that imaginary throne up in your head. But please, in a decent communal surrounding, do think of others and their right to speak their minds and share their experiences.

the rule of sensitivity

2011-05-14T12:38:00.003+08:00

I don't know whether I am grouped in the "sensitive" people category or not, but personally, I don't think I am.

Well sometimes I am, but I'd rather keep it to myself - all the sentaps, all the terasa hati, terkecil hati what not. Because I know things are said in jest, or at times when one is angry or sad or temporarily insane.

However, just as like everything else in this weird world, most sensitive people are NOT sensitive to other people's feelings. Here we are trying to act a certain way, hold our tongue lest we utter something offensive, watch our tone lest we inadvertently go a notch higher - just to please them and not hurt them. Then they turn their backs on us, and roll us over with bulldozers.

I hope I don't become like them.

a mother's day afternoon

2011-05-08T14:50:00.002+08:00

So it's Mother's Day.

I've always celebrated with an SMS wish to my mother, and that's about it. Because most times, I am not with her during Mother's Day. And to my mother figure, my late Maktok, Mother's Day was never 'celebrated'.

But this year, more than ever I miss my late Maktok. The family has lost its grand matriarch and personally, I have lost my 'mother' - the person who brought me up and became my shoulder to cry on, in later years.

Things were never the same since her passing in 2008.

Boy it's a hot afternoon. The kids are away with my ex, my stepdaughters are here (Hana visiting over the weekend). The Diver is taking a nap, after Tweeting how depressed he has been after weeks of not going diving. Other than that, it has been quiet.

Quiet, and a bit melancholic.

sticks and stones

2011-05-06T14:39:00.004+08:00

...may break my bones / But words will never hurt me

Now that's certainly not me. I'd take sticks and stones any day.

In my previous marriage, I was emotionally and later on physically abused, although for a short period of time. If you ask me today, if I remember being beaten up or not or whether it had hurt or not.... I can barely remember anything. I couldn't even remember where and how I was hit.

But I still remember the nasty things he said about me. Every consonant, every bit of it.

Like I said, I'd take sticks and stones any day. And on that note, I wish all Mothers out there a Happy Mother's Day. Love yourself, and then you'll be able to love others unconditionally :)

snobbery hobnobbery

2011-04-20T10:59:00.004+08:00

Too much snobbery is going around these days. And funnily, it can take on many shapes and forms. Macam2 la.. ada food snobbery, brand snobbery, work snobbery, music snobbery even friendship snobbery. I know I'm guilty of some... and I hate to admit it, but as I get older I try to come to terms with it and discard all these negativities.

Well, probably my pet peeve is food snobbery. Don't you just hate it when someone says "Oh, I don't eat any leftovers, doesn't matter 1 day ke 2 days keee..." Now let me ask you something... TAK PERNAH MAKAN KAT KEDAI MAMAK KE?? HELLOO??? Last time I checked, this person thoroughly enjoys having roti canai at mamak shops. And please, if you're on a diet.. and you don't take rice or whatever.. don't go "Ewww.. Rice?? Oh I stay away from rice, it's fattening" while someone is enjoying their nasi campur with gusto. That's just plain rude. If you don't eat a certain type of food, and find is disgusting to your taste buds.. just SHUT THE FUCK UP WILL YA?

Oh, one more pet peeve (byk plak pet peeve aku nih) friendship snobbery. All these talk about oh I am friends of anak so and so or bini so and so Tan Sri, Tun, Dato' Seri bullshit drives me up the wall. I MIGHT be guilty of mentioning this sometimes but hey, most of the time it's just fact-stating and not a form of showing off. Some people will go on and on and on and namedrop whoever they could just to earn points and look good, and some even stoop so low and do this just to get into exclusive clubs. Pathetic.

Lest we go down the depressing road. Let me end with this snippet of Cik Kam, which relates to friendship snobbery, in a way. Kalau tak relevant pun korang baca je lah.

Cik Kam frantically waves at me, and shows a piece of flyer:

Me: Apa tu? Seminar?
Cik Kam: Ha.. kau tak nak gi ke Seminar on (something i can't recall) and kau tau tak yang jadi Speaker dia ni ha.. ni... Yang Mulia Raja beb... kau tak kenal ke ni, cuba tengok...
Me: Raja Nazrin ke? Raja Petra?
Cik Kam: Err.. Raja Mohamad.. apa ntah ni.. tak kesahla tapi dia Yang Mulia tau!! Yang Mulia!

Turned out it's just some obscure dude with a Raja title. And Cik Kam thought he was some kind of a celebrity royalty just because of the Yang Mulia.

Sekian.

ye lah yelahhhhh update la niiiii

2011-04-11T16:47:00.002+08:00

Aku dah naik menyampah kalau orang mention the word BLOG. Hahaha. Yeah, whenever we have our usual makan and lepak sessions, The Diver dan juga Usual Suspects yang lain akan comment how that I HAVE BEEN COMPLETELY IGNORING MY BLOG.

I can completely put the blame on so many things, as usual. (Facebook, Twitter, work, diving, jaga laki aku, jaga anak, melantak, Cityville, the list goes on)

But yeah I have been completely ignoring this. Even as I typed "jazz..ma.." dalam history pun dah takde noks. The thing is that soooo many things have been happening and I don't even know where or how to even start writing.

Anyway, since love life aku dah tak scandalous lagi and since I did the entries on Cik Kam.. ramailah orang tanya2 bila aku nak cerita pasal Cik Kam lagi... kekeke.. Ramai peminat Cik Kam ni rupanya eh.

Aku just nak hapdet kat sini yang Cik Kam and I have become sort of "friends" la jugak. Sebabnya, aku rasa dia takut ngan aku selepas aku sembor dia banyak2 kali pasal banyak2 benda. Ada je dia nak tolong aku. So, aku memang kena jadi blue hippo dan friends la jugak ngan dia. Senang beb, segala benda aku taichi kat dia. Benda2 yang tak melibatkan otak la.

Free labour beb, siapa tak nak? Dahla department aku ni kekurangan hands and legs.

OKlah, nanti la nak fikir citer2 juicy dan kelakar Cik Kam nih.

Jgn cakap aku tak update blog ni yer. And sorry la bahasa Rempit sikit ni. I overloaded on carbs during lunch.

where did 2010 go?

2010-11-03T21:14:00.005+08:00

Without realising it my Cik Kam episodes dah basi and it's already November.

So much has happened. My sister and her husband who are residing in Japan came back to visit us for 9 days in October. Spent a good 3 days in Tioman. It was too short of a trip though! I hope she comes back again in January for our brother's commissioning.

That Tioman trip was our last dive trip of the season because the island is now closed for monsoon. I logged my 70th dive too. That was a nice accomplishment for an overweight wuss like me.

We also had a supercool Halloween do at Rumah Momok :) Thanks to The Diver who's always a great sport when it comes to Halloween. Don't you just love how our window looked from outside? I'm sure we freaked a few people out!

This year went by with a breeze. It feels good that November's here, although for the past few weeks we had like a couple of exhibitions, one going on now and next week I have an event in JB. It's all good.

I can't wait till December comes. I'm missing Christmas already.

Oh, and The Diver is now away somewhere on a rig offshore Sabah. God willing, I will be seeing him on Saturday night :)

Till then, enjoy November peeps!

cerita cik kam episod aidilfitri

2010-09-22T11:08:00.004+08:00

To all my Blog readers (macam la ramai) and friends, I hope all of you had a wonderful Raya. I sure as hell did, spending my first Raya at the inlaws in Shah Alam and second Raya onward in Batu Pahat and then diving in Tioman.

Ah well, let's not dwell in it anymore. We've had too many blog entries on lemangs and rendangs and maaf zahir batins.

I came to the office after the long Raya break only to be entertained with more Cik Kam stories. I hope these will make your day. It sure did mine.

Story #1

Cik Kam punya kereta had an accident over the Raya break, apparently she bumped her car into the car in front of hers.

Cik A: Kesian kau, kereta accident ye? Kau langgar kereta apa?
Cik Kam: Ala.. ko tau tak, kereta aku langgar kereta Saga yang dah RENOVATE tu.

Story #2

Cik Kam: Eh eh.. poppy ni pun pakai kopiah macam orang Islam kan...
Cik A: Poppy?? Poppy tu apa?
Cik Kam: Ish, poppy ni ha... (shows a picture of the Pope in the newspaper)

Story #3

Cik Kam reads an e-mail circulated among some officemates with regards to what to buy for a friend's wedding and asks:

"Cik A, lingerie tu apa?"

Sekian la cerita Cik Kam untuk kali ni. For first time readers, aku tak suka kutuk orang tau and selalu kalau the stories above happen to any other person, aku akan membetulkan grammar, sebutan dan sebagainya lah... Tapi dengan Cik Kam.... pi mamposlah. Kau kutuk2 orang gemuk, tanya aku pakai makeup ori ke tak, eksyen ada 2 Blackberry tapi tak reti pakai and konon dah travel London, Australia, bagai.. tapi kalau setakat England pun tahap budak Standard 1. Sorry babe!

And oh, lagi satu. Kenapa aku boleh lupa kan yang ini:

Story #4

Cik Kam's friend asked why she wears braces now, sebab gigi dia bukannya jongang pun, jarang ke apa ke.

She answered, "Eh kau tak tau ke, sekarang kan TREND."

Sekian, terima kasih and selamat menyambut the rest of the Syawal month.

cik kam - an intro

2010-08-24T20:13:00.007+08:00

OK, lega. Now dah buka boleh la gozz pasal Cik Kam.

There's this girl in my office, we call her Cik Kam. Kam is short for 'kampung'. Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against kampung people and in fact I am from a somewhat kampung place too. In Cik Kam's context, kampung is a reference to her mentality. You know the mentality makcik tempek bedak sejuk and petang2 pakai baju kelawar and gossip with neighbours. And hasad dengki tengok rumah orang langsir baru, gelang emas berkoyan2 and all that stuff.

Cik Kam is around 30-something and without a boyfriend. It's funny because she doesn't look too bad, with the false eyelashes and coloured contacts all. I have yet to find a man in the office who finds her attractive. Why am I not surprised?

And I'm not the only one who is allergic to Cik Kam. Most people I know can't stand her. Even people who have never met her. Yes, she can be super annoying over the phone too.

Why am I so pissed at Cik Kam? Let me count the ways....

1. She's slim but thinks that she is grossly overweight, and binges on protein shakes.

2. She complains about the above EVERY day, in that shrieky voice of hers.

3. Her English is atrocious, but thinks that she's so terrer and speaks with a weird slang that I can't make out.

4. She is from the kampung, but keeps on telling everyone she's a KL-ite. She's not proud of her roots at all.

5. She will BACKSTAB you like nobody's business.

6. She gets orgasmic when someone uses BlackBerry because to her, it's a measure of a person's wealth. She has TWO BlackBerries but never use them to reply office email. GO FIGURE.

She's an example of how someone who is supposedly not bad looking become so ugly because her heart is full of perasaan hasad dengki.

More of Cik Kam's stories later... I shall end this with a little vignette:

Cik Kam calls up my extension:

Cik Kam: Eh babe, how to spell launch?

Me: L-A-U-N-C-H

Cik Kam: Alaaaaaa... aku salah lah spell...

Me: Kau nak guna launch dlm what sentence?

Cik Kam: I nak suruh boss tunggu dekat hotel punya launch.

Me: Hotel mana yang nak launch? Opening?

Cik Kam: Hotel LAUNCH la... yang tempat orang tunggu tu, duduk2 minum2....

Me: WOIIIII TU HOTEL LOUNGE LERRR!!!!

that's just how i am

2010-08-23T13:10:00.005+08:00

Some people, including The Diver, have remarked that my blog has lost its lustre. That it's not the blog that it was before, where lots of bitching and moaning and whacking members of the opposite sex as well as pesky biatches took place.

Yep, it's not.

First of all, besides not having the time to write as often, the other reason why my writings have become less scandalous is that, I got married.

Like I said, I am still somewhat a traditionalist at heart. I believe that once you're married you have to maintain a certain "decorum" whether or not the other half insists or not. For me, it's important. And when I mention decorum, takde la macam kena maintain habis and become a Catholic nun, and change yourself to someone that you're not. To me, it's a form of self-censorship, although not the extreme kind.

And besides being a traditionalist, I can be somewhat of a green-eyed monster too. Please note that I wrote "somewhat". The Diver and I are considered very open and liberal and we do the cheek-pecking with our friends be it male or female. I am completely fine with that. But there are things that bug me. Weird things. Like when The Diver TWEETS constantly with a lady acquaintance that we met only once or twice, I felt a bit... WEIRD. Hence, the term acquaintance. I am fine with old friends, mutual friends, good friends, but acquaintances.... hmmm... I'm NOT fine.

I don't know if I'm becoming too restrictive and behaving like a jealous makcik of a wife or whatever, because I'm really not.

Having said all that, yes I will try to make this blog more of a bitching blog. Because hell yes I have a lot to bitch about still. The first person I can think of is this moron of a big-headed woman who works in this office, for lack of a better nickname will be called Cik Kam from now onwards.

Watch out for that.

p/s: I edited the word tweets to become TWEETs. To emphasize that it was on Twitter, and not on Facebook. Gosh, I hate being specific.

truly blessed

2010-08-22T01:57:00.002+08:00

I'm very happy that The Diver and his parents are finally on talking terms. After a few strange twists of fate, the family is now back together and I finally won't feel awkward everytime there's a PTD event going on. I'm happy, we're truly blessed.

And I hope this coming Hari Raya will be a more meaningful one for all of us.

Talking about Hari Raya, this is the first time that I'll be spending Raya in KL, with all my stepchildren who will be staying with us during Raya break. And for the first time in Malaysia, I shall be cooking the Raya spread. I wrote in Malaysia because when I was studying in the States I was the Chef for Raya dishes every year. I'm quite nervous about that though. Maybe I should do a food rehearsal next week.

On another note, I always get overly emotional during fasting month. Maybe it's the lack of sugar, maybe it's the constant battling of hunger and thirst. I dunno.

Whatever it is, I still find certain normally acceptable things rather annoying. That makes it worse because for most people it might be acceptable, but for me...hmmm... OK, I hate being cryptic so I guess I'll just end it here.

the feast of fasting

2010-08-17T20:13:00.006+08:00

Beef Curry with Potatoes, on the first day of Ramadhan

Today is the 7th day of fasting and so far, we've been having our iftars at home with the children and the maid. Most times I would cook, nothing too elaborate but of course that is much better than having to buy food at those Ramadhan bazaars. I not only find the place annoyingly smoky but the quality of food has also deteriorated over the years, with the exception of a few familiar stalls.

Salmon Head Assam Pedas on the third day of Ramadhan

Spena & Komar, at one of our iftars.

Some days, we had friends over for potlucks, which is a common thing at our home every year. It's just more fun to have iftar with close friends rather than alone, well at least that's what I think.

Anyway, three more weeks to Hari Raya and I still have yet to fulfill my mission of making my own Raya cookies :(

Sometimes I think I should get myself a good mixer, like a Kenwood or KitchenAid. But then if I get me one of those and don't bake till I break mesti nanti kena kutuk dengan The Diver. Ok then I'll just settle for this brandless mixer of mine anyway.

Having said that, I am SO EXCITED that I will soon receive a premix for the Red Velvet Cake from Little Bowl Cupcakery all the way from Okayama, Japan. I got the privilege to taste them cuppies last year(thank you Sis!). Little Bowl Cupcakery is operated by Zack Abdul, a friend of my sister who is now residing in Okayama. The cakes are not only gorgeous but they taste just superbly heavenly. Am gonna make these babies for Raya, definitely!

Anyway, I will and I shall at least make ONE type of cookie for Raya. I will I will I will!!!

Well people, keep on fasting and feasting!

and the fasting month begins...

2010-08-11T21:17:00.002+08:00

I'm still very much a traditionalist when it comes to Ramadhan.

I love having iftar at home, with the family.

I hate queuing up at long hotel buffets, and if I must have iftar outside, I'd rather it be in a small, intimate restaurant. Mamak pun mamak la, kalau mamak tu intimate I'm okay...If not, I'd rather be home, even if it means having something as simple as an egg sandwich and air sirap :)

Anyway, I thank God for again letting us spend Ramadhan together this year. Today is the first day of Ramadhan, and I made beef curry and sambal telur. Since The Diver wants to go on a no-rice diet this fasting month I had to think of dishes that can match with bread or paratha or naan or whatever.

Oh, my aim this year is to make at least 2 types of Raya cookies. Let's just see if I'm all talk and no action! Hahah!

Ramadhan Kareem everyone!

i'm still here

2010-08-03T22:05:00.005+08:00

Every time I want to write a new blog post, I hesitate. I have no idea why. Maybe because I am sick of my own little trivialities and whinings about work and stuff relating to it. Maybe too it's because there are just so many things happening around me that I don't even know what to bitch about. And maybe because everytime I start to write, I would go "ohhh there are other bigger issues in the world that I should write about..." But alas, here I am again, devoid of anything intellectual or clever.

For a good part of this year there were a lot of news of deaths and friends and family who are diagnosed of some form of serious illnesses. After the passing of one of my juniors, Azura Hani who left us due to leukimia, and after watching a section on CNN of this woman who kept a blog until her death (can't remember the URL), I sort of developed this habit of reading blogs of people with terminal illnesses.

And then there's there's the passing of the late Ruby Ahmad followed by one of the 'makcik' bloggers, Raden Galoh of onebreastbouncing.

It's just so depressing. Yet it also made me thankful of the life and health that I'm blessed with.

It also makes me realize the fragility of life, and after that, any news of friends and family who fall sick kinda shook me up a bit.

I suppose that's the real meaning of growing up or to put it less mildly, getting old.

Meantime, I'm just enjoying my time here on Earth with loved ones, my kids, my family and my clown of a husband...

and also diving, whenever I can (the hair cracks me up!)...

a balancing act

2010-05-27T15:36:00.003+08:00

I can truly say that I have found happiness after being married to The Diver last year. It's my second shot at making marriage work, making life work, and making the kids' lives as 'normal' as possible, whatever normalcy means.

But being a stepmother (although his kids do not stay with us) and him being a stepfather - we both have tricky roles to play. It's all about balance, and being delicate and firm and at the same time, and most times it is a thankless job.

I know The Diver, at times, is not completely happy because of the fact that his kids are not under the same roof as us. And I know he misses them terribly. This, on my part, has caused a lot of guilt and self-imposed restrictions on how I treat my kids too.

When I was a single mother, I used to spend a lot of time with my kids, over the weekends, taking them out, even on weeknights. Now that I am married to The Diver, I do less of those, but spend more time with them at home. Two days ago when The Diver had to go outstation for work, Ali came up to me and said, "Dah lama kita tak hang out kan Ma? Remember when you used to drive me to see the lights at night?" He paused and continued, "Masa mama sorang-sorang dulu..."

So that night we went out for a McDonald's supper together and I explained to him that now I have more things to think about, more responsibilities as a wife to his stepfather. I told him that I am also mother to his other step-siblings. One thing for sure is that I know Ali would love to be around his step-siblings.

I don't know, I am happy to be a mother to a total of 7 children but it is sometimes emotionally exhausting. I try my best to 'jaga hati' The Diver especially at home so that my kids do not get on his nerves too much and also I try my best to ensure the kids that yes, The Diver loves them a lot, although he is a stepfather he has been thus far, a true father to them in all sense of the word.

All in all, I am trying my best to lessen the burden that The Diver has to bear when he's with us.

It is tiring sometimes, I must admit. But when I come home to see my kids and The Diver laughing, talking and joking around together, it is all worth it.

Assimilating to stepfather

alive, but barely

2010-05-19T11:47:00.004+08:00

I'm talkin bout this blog, which I hope to keep alive... Note that I typed "hope" instead of "promise" or "will strive to" :0

Anyhoots, reasons that have kept me away from updating this are too many to list out, first there's....

1. WORK - eh lame giler excuse ni... semua orang pun work kan... Besides a few events and having a ton of stuff to do, Internet connection is horrible at the office.

2. DIVE - I am happy to note that I did my 45th dive (since August 2009, not bad at all!) a couple of weeks ago in Tioman, and had a magical trip to Sipadan in April 2010. The Diver kept on harping on how I had said that I will NEVER dive and all that, because right now... I am a complete junkie. Siap baca Dive magazines bagai... and The Diver finds this all too amusing and at times annoying, now that I'm so into it.

Turtle and I, at lovely Sipadan.

The gang in Sipadan. Best dive trip ever :) and planning to go again November 2010!!!

3. FACEBOOK - namely Farmville and catching up with old friends, and commenting on friends' statuses and responding to their comments.. oh gosh... I'm such a junkie too... And with some people the best and fastest way to get to them is via their FB inboxes... Geez people!!!

....and oh crap I hate listing 'em all out but yes I have been pre-occupied. Our old Bibik had to go back to her hometown for good and we have a new Bibik now whom the kids totally adore. It's been around six months since we've vacated Kg Warisan and my dad is planning to refurbish the place and I dunno probably make it look less "kayu".

And oh yeah, The Diver and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary on 21st March 2010... and what a "celebration" it was.... He was attending a course in Lumut and I was gallavanting with the gals in Bali. Well, what to do kan when duty calls for him...Anyway we had our celebratory dinner after he picked me up at the airport :) We went for one of our usual hangout, Las Carretas in Ampang. See, I'm so low maintenance nowadays...

Besides gaining 20 million kgs over the past couple of years, (yes to those bitches who hate me you can laugh your asses right about now), life has been sweet.

I'm slowly loving and adapting to this house. Can't blame me because after more than a decade staying in a tiny shoebox apartment I find it quite daunting to manage a double storey four-bedroom house... See, I'm so lembik too! The kids are also enjoying their space and land and proximity to the playground.

I hope the rest of the year turns out to be good for us all - friends, families, officemates, etc. Some friends even found love this year (ahem, ahem Rainmaker) and hopefully I get to eat nasi minyak di tepi sawah before the year is over. (Ni gaya penutup macam tak nak update blog until December je ni)

I shall try to update more often. I kinda miss maintaining my blog like I used to.

p/s: I missed out one of the reasons of me putting up this post.. sebab takut kena belasah ngan Bro Rina, I think she's miffed that balik2 bukak blog ni citer pasal Valentine's Day...

My Valentine's Gift to The Diver: Tagged on My Spouse

2010-02-12T11:51:00.005+08:00

Since both The Diver and I don't celebrate V-Day, here's a gift from me to him, a tag that is entirely yours, baby!

I wanted to blog about that bout of panic attack I experienced last week but I didn't have time and it's just so drama so here goes a fun one:

Tagged by the lovely, witty mummy Dillz.

1. Where did you first meet your hubby/other half and when was it?

This was how I first "met" him:

jazzmatazzed

September 4th, 2007 at 11:59 pm

sd, i’ve been a silent reader. OK, this is beyond pathetic but am actually crying reading your end of a great journey entries. ya i know, i have to get a life.

The Diver just got out of a meaningless relationship (hahahah!! cam sial kan aku cakap meaningless) and I was in a relationship that was not going anywhere at that time. So we both were experiencing trying times. And when I read his blog entries I was like.. Wahhhh ada lagi ke spesis jantan macam ni.....

Then on Sept 7th 2007 The Diver wrote on his blog:

"I find it funny that this blog’s been listed in Jazzmatazzed’s blog as “SeaDemon’s Underwater Adventures“…not once, but twice! Hehehe! I’m flattered, Jazzy, thanks."

I got too excited and had put it twice on my Blogroll. Gelojoh.

Well the first time I met him in real life was at a Buka Puasa thingy with friends that I had organized at my place in September of 2007 too. Tak ingat date lah, Sayang sorry :) You're better at remembering dates.

2. Was it love at first sight?

Definitely not! We both were in meaningless relationships back then.

3. Who was he/she when you met him/her for the very first time?

He was a big brother figure to me and probably the only guy who I could say "Hey, I miss you lah"... without him thinking I was hitting on him. So yeah, we were good platonic friends.

4. How long did it take him/her to ask you out on a date?

Damn. Err... about 6 months or so? March 2008.

5. The venue of your first date?

The Lodge. Ya, he's trapped in the 80s. But I liked the kitschiness of it all. It was after midnight so I suppose that's the only place he could take me to other than mamak joints.

6. How did he/she proposed?

I proposed to him over YM in March 2008, BEFORE our first date.

Me: If we're not married in 10 years let's just marry each other lah
Him: Wah! I don't think I can live that long...
Me: OK 7 then
Him: Make it 3 lah....

How practical. Heheh. We were married a year after that conversation took place.

7. Recollect a Special Date with your hubby/other half.

For me it was our first date. He was waiting for me outside his Fuck Truck with a big smile on his face, and opened the door for me (he still does OK!!) like any good thoroughbred MCKK boy...

8. Any changes that he/she asked you to make?

He has definitely learned how to control his temper, definitely improved on that since we went out together. So keep up the good work Sayang!

9. What is it about him/her that you love so much?

I just feel so SAFE when I'm around him. He literally saved me from my ex, and also from a relationship that was eating me up inside.

I feel so loved, the way he hugs me. It's just so damn comforting, especially after a long day at work.

His sense of humour. His wonderful gift of gab

10. What would you like to change about him/her?

I wish he'd be a more patient man as years go by. He's at his best when he's calm and patient.

11. You will lose your mind and crack your head when he/she.....

Cerita balik joke bengong yang dah cerita 40 kali.

12. You will smile through your eyes the whole day when he/she..

SMSes me sappy stuff. Just romantic stuff that sometimes can shed me tears of joy. Huwaaa... jiwang to the max.

13.Complete this sentence, "My love towards my hubby/other half is as big as.."

...my stomach and his put TOGETHER!!!!!! AND THAT IS HUGE!!!!!!

I love you sweets, and always will.

the coffee and I

2010-01-13T14:29:00.005+08:00

The daily mantra over Skype/YM between my two colleagues and I almost daily, post lunch would be.

"Ngantuk. I need coffee."

or even

"Aku rasa macam nak kopi mahal" ( as opposed to Kak K's Nescafe murahan at the pantry)

The latter statement would result in us frantically finding other coffeeholics so that our SF Coffee order would total to RM50 (minimum order for delivery). We used to have one SF Coffee at our office but since the whole building is undergoing a major facelift, there are absolutely NO eateries or retail shops here. Major bummer.

When I was nineteen I was still allergic to it. I remember once during my first year in college I had a bad bout of coffee allergy. I was playing tour guide to some friends who were visiting Boston for the first time. We were at Harvard Square and it was summer and they all wanted to go to Au Bon Pain. And dammit the smell of coffee was just so overpowering and hypnotic. And I went okay, I am ADULT enough to drink this thing. So I had, for the first time ever, a whole plastic cup of Iced Cappuccino all to myself. And drank the whole thing as it was scorching hot at the moment and I was thirsty as hell.

As we were leaving Au Bon Pain, heading for some shops at Harvard Square, I felt slightly nauseated, following by a throbbing headache which became worse. Then, I started seeing spots. And it got so bad I had to apologize to my friends and told them that I had to go home :(

From that day forth, I stayed off coffee completely.

Adulthood came (read; I started working) and inadvertently someone would serve you coffee at certain points of time. I would take a small sip, and (im)politely leave the rest of the portion. And as I grew older (old ke??) and after I had quit smoking (in July 2008) I became more accustomed to drinking coffee. I did not realize when it happened, but it happened. I could finish half a cup of coffee without any detrimental side effects, accept for maybe once or twice (The Diver would argue this observation).

The worse came when I joined this GLC. I was quite a junkie. Well there's no such term as "quite" a junkie, it's either you are or you are not. Hell, I WAS a junkie. And I totally blame it on this company. For some weird reason, they didn't employ a proper tea lady, and for some reason, they would order flasks and flasks of SF Black Coffee and Latte at every freaking meeting!!!! Jgn cerita la pasal how much the company had to bear on the costs...

I was downing coffee like air sirap limau. Like there's no tomorrow. Until I realized, no it did not give me any headaches but I was belching like a 70-year old pakcik in a kain pelikat. Not cool, huh?

When I quit the GLC, I didn't completely quit coffee. I couldn't. The Diver will always tell me how bad coffee is, and to take it in moderation. Which I adhered to. I slowly weaned myself off it, but not completely.

Today, I don't take it daily. I try not to, at least. And if you ask me why I'm writing this, it's that I'm craving for it right this very minute!

I will ignore everyone when I'm having my cuppa :)
Pic courtesy of Fizri

bienvenue 2010, au revoir 2009!

2010-01-02T10:06:00.003+08:00

In spite of the almost week-long holiday that I took, the final week of the year is always hectic, and this year, probably even more.

To sum it all up 2009 was a wonderful year, with a lot of changes in my life. And change is good, most of the times.

This was the year I got married to my BFF who's also the world's most wonderful lover. I try as much to be a good wife to The Diver, and so far things have been going great. Though we have our down times as well :) But in marriage, the more you give, the more you get. So I just hope the longer we're together the more we understand each other.

We also moved out of the Kg Warisan apartment to Bukit Setiawangsa. The main reason for the move is that not only are my kids getting bigger but also we want room when my stepchildren visit and it would be more conducive for them to sleep over. And oh, we receive a lot of guests too so the house is a better bet that the apartment obviously. I have to admit that having stayed in Kg Warisan for more than a DECADE, moving to a landed property has been fun but super-tiring!

And in 2009 too I took up scuba diving and got my Open Water Diver license, in Perhentian! Been hooked on it ever since and its such a great stress reliever! I'm so waiting for the Monsoon season to be over!!!!!

Finally, 2009 was also the year that my parents took me seriously. Hahahah! It's probably the year when they finally realize that I am adult enough to make my own decisions and also adult enough to advise them. I did gave both of them my piece of mind (albeit on paper) and I suppose I made sense. 2009 has seen a lot of shockers in our family and extended family so hopefully these shockers will not shock us again this year.

Well there are a lot of other things that happened in our lives in 2009 but I suppose those are the significant ones.

My wish for 2010?

For me to be a better person, to be more patient in handling issues, to be more eloquent in speaking, to be a better writer and a better wife, mother and friend.

For The Diver to get a humongous pay hike so that he can belanja me more! HAHAHAHA!! Just kidding, baby. Ok ok ... for The Diver to be happier when he's with me, and for him to be in the best of health so we can enjoy more years together.

To have more dive trips and overseas trip this year! Ok , this is a bit impossible to reconcile but I'll just give it a shot anyway. And maybe for my sister to join us in one of those overseas trip!!

Here's to 2010!!!

a death in december

2009-12-23T22:37:00.003+08:00

Have you attended a funeral and thought, no.. I am not going to cry because the person who passed on does not have that much emotional impact over you.

And then you thought wrong and you ended up bawling as if that person meant the world.

Well I was at one of those funerals today. It was my cousin's funeral. A cousin whom I haven't seen in years. He was my uncle's eldest son. And this uncle's family has not been attending Raya gatherings, relative's weddings, or even my late grandmother's funeral. Yes, estranged would be the word to describe it.

My cousin died of drug overdose - a concoction of sleeping pills and God-knows-what. To make things worse, they found his decomposed body, alone in a hotel room, sitting up, with the TV and air-con on. Doctors estimate that he has been dead for more than 10 days. He was 26.

When the talkin was recited, it seemed that my mind went back to the days when I used to babysit this little innocent, baby cousin of mine. We were nine years apart, and his parents used to send him to my grandparents' house for free day care. And I was the one who had to help my aunt take care of him, put him to sleep, prepare his formula, watched cartoons with him.

And today, he's bundled up in white cloth, lined with plastic - the condition of his body too horrific for me to even describe here.

I sat behind his wife, near to his mother - they tried to hold back tears during the talkin but only ended up crying until their whole bodies shivered. And I did too, silently.

Goodbye, Azlan. I hope you did not die in vain.

My friends, dear readers, this is not the way to die. So stay off drugs. You think you're in control, but don't play with fire. I beg you.

it's the most wonderful timeeeeeee of the yearrrrr

2009-12-17T12:06:00.005+08:00

Today is my Dad's birthday. Just a piece of useless trivia to start me writing again.

I've always told people that December is my favourite month, and NO.. not because it's my birthday (on the 27th) but because everything just seems soooo festive in December what with the Christmas decor, the school holidays, the New Year anticipation AND don't you just notice that people in the office tend to be more laid back in December? And especially THIS December because of the many public holidays.. I mean, what's a reason not to LOVE this month???!!

Well in spite of all that, December has been a long month for me, and it's only the 17th today. First off, we finally moved in to our new home this month, a move that has been long overdue to both The Diver and my hectic schedule. Well mostly HIS schedule. To make things more topsy turvy, our Bibik went on leave for more than a week right after we moved in. But she's back now and I have recovered my sanity somewhat.

The first two things I made in our new kitchen are these two:

Banana Bread & Butter Pudding

Roast Chicken with Lotsa Veggies

I am elated beyond words that tomorrow's a public holiday and so is every Friday in the next couple of weeks. Didn't have much planned as we still need to fix a few things at the house and of course, decorate the Christmas tree. We left the ornaments at our Kg Warisan home, so for now we only have lights for the tree. (note to self: drop by Kg Warisan to pickup ornaments tomorrow!!!)

The Diver and I will be going to our usually monthly respite from office stress - The Comedy Club thingy at Zouk tonight, and looking forward to that. For those of you who haven't been to the Kuala Lumpur Comedy Club, I highly encourage you all to go, it's just a helluva blast.

My parents, my brother and Medina are in Japan right now visiting our lovely sister, Zaza and brother outlaw, Kazu-san. Medina seems to be OK with the wintry weather except for the occasional nosebleeds. They've been there for 5 days and coming back on Saturday.
Zaza, I ciloked your pics :)

And on the 26th, we'll be having a post-Christmas do at Gombak4Life's home in where else but Gombak County...Ah! So many things to look forward for....

Happy December y'all and joy to the world!

art imitating life, or vice versa?

2009-11-23T18:18:00.005+08:00

Right now, as I'm sitting here at the office while waiting for The Diver to pick me up (gosh, I'm just too lazy to drive meself to work nowadays!), I'm reminded of the Malay dramas that my grandma and aunts used to watch on TV.

You know, the evil stepmothers, the cheating boyfriend, the deadbeat husband, the GRO wife, the wicked mother in law, the weepy dumped wife, the secretary-boss affair, the screaming bimbo catfights... all those stereotypes you can ever think of, is there in the Drama Melayu.

In my teens and twenties, I'd go... Man!!! All these are crap that some overly emotional jilted scriptwriter conjured up in his/her screwed up brain. I didn't know that in adulthood, these Drama Melayu scenarios will pop in your life as often as The Diver goes to the toilet after whacking sambal belachan.

As I grow older, nothing shocks me anymore. I'm sure most of you agree on this statement.

When I was in the twenties, life was such a euphoric phase of seeking perfection. And at that age, especially in my early twenties, I thought that adulthood was simply, people being ADULTS.

But boy, was I wrong.

In our lives today, scenes of Drama Melayu pops up every now and then. I sometimes stop to think, "I thought these things only happen in movies." And now I believe that art does, in a strange and perverted way, imitate life.

a note to polygamists

2009-11-17T18:40:00.004+08:00

I personally do not think a man can ever be fair when he marries more than one.

Yes, in the Qur'an it says that polygamy is allowed, but many ignore the BIG ASS DISCLAIMER that comes with it. It says that you are only allowed to marry more than one if you can be fair upon your wives. The question is, can mere mortals living in the 21st century ever be fair to two wives (or more)? My answer would be HELL NO.

Oh well, to each his own.

The past couple of months have been rather psychologically stressing me out. Hence the need for the dive trips to calm me down. At times, I stepped out of myself and float up and look at the bigger picture. No, it has nothing to do with my marriage or The Diver.

It has something to do with polygamy and a family member. Let's just say that I am happy for my family if they're happy with the path that they've chosen. But, an advice to polygamists and wannabes, if you have the balls to marry another, please also have the balls to tell your wife that you've married or are going to marry. Be a man for God's sake! I once told a raging abusive ex-husband that I was not in love with him anymore, and that I was in love with another person.

He could've killed me at that very moment, but yes dear readers, I HAD THE BALLS TO DO IT. That's all that matters.

Now this polygamy issue in my family has caused severe distress to some parties and awkwardness to some, and this all stems out of a marriage that was kept secret. You don't know what trouble you give people ... it's so menyusahkan.

I picked out a new journal for 2010 at MPH the other day (which The Diver paid for, thank you!) - I was thinking of a Moleskine initially but settled with this from Peter Pauper, it has more meaning in life now:

double whammy tioman weekend!

2009-11-06T18:20:00.004+08:00

Monsoon diving.

That was what we did last weekend in Tioman. Being an avid diver, The Diver loves it because according to him, you get to see bigger stuff. And yes we did see a big reef cuttlefish. And another group saw a frikkin whale shark too! But aside from that, I also suffered a gash on my knee while climbing up the jetty stairs after surfacing during the night dive.

Sakit!!!!!

The Diver kata .. "Biasalah.. Diver..." apa2 injury that I sustained semuanya dia cakap macam tu... "Biasalah... Diver..." Dulu he was a bit sympathetic la... sekarang mungkin dia nak train aku jadi Commando...maybe by the time I hit 40 boleh masuk askar...

And oh, I also did my first ever night dive last Saturday. It was scary cuz viz was super teruk but fun nonetheless.

I did the unthinkable before we left Tioman last week, I told The Diver, "Jom diving lagi next week?"

Remind me to never ask that question in November, December or January next time please!

And so we left all our dive equipment there at the dive centre and decided to return again this weekend.....

For more monsoon diving! The weather's gonna be crappy, the sea is gonna be choppy, and The Diver has bought me a seasick band (I pray to God it works)... and we are off to Mersing again, tonight to catch tomorrow morning's ferry to Tioman!

God speed, I told myself. And please dear Sea, be kind to me....

And these pics were from last weekend...
This ugly mama posed for us... and we got real up close and personal...

The Diver and I, and Tioman in good weather

My stepdaughter Farhanah, who's sitting for her SPM very soon!

My first night dive. Entah apa yang aku suluh. Viz was bad!

We found this guy during our night dive. It ran away as soon as I thought of Chilli Crabs.

BOO!

2009-10-30T15:42:00.006+08:00

Bukan Boooooooooo!!! untuk pasukan Manchester United (kalau perempuan takde breast bolehlah dipanggil Man-Chester jugak)!

Boo! It's my second favourite non-Islamic celebration after Christmas - Halloween! I categorise my celebration between Islamic and non-Islamic, lest people think that I am pagan and don't celebrate Islamic celebrations. This year is the second time that The Diver has made our Halloween celebration a blast. Well last year, he carved Jack o' Lanterns out of tomatoes. It was a last minute thing okay...Halloween Express 2008 - we also had The Devil's Omelette!

But this year, oh this year, we had REAL pumpkins, although not the shiny orange ones that are sold at dirt cheap prices back in South Bend, Indiana. We had local pumpkins, the one that's sold in Jusco and it was affordable. That will do lah aku bukannya la hard up sangat kat pumpkins kan.
Thanks to The Diver for painstakingly making the Jack o' Lanterns...

We had a Halloween do cum Gombak4Life's birthday party at HRH's residence last week, and it was fun for all.
Yunus was a "Pirate VCD" while Juan was.. err.. a reluctant pirate...

Mwahs to the pumpkin!

Tengok kat belakang ada Momok dok sibuk cakap telefon...

And tonight before midnight, we shall leave for Mersing for tomorrow morning's ferry to Tioman. Amidst the Annual Report, I'm taking time off for a bit, only a bit, of diving in Tioman.

Happy Halloween people! Trick or Treat!

blaming Facebookery

2009-10-19T23:40:00.003+08:00

This blog is almost dead, but not quite.

I've willed every ounce of my being to keep it alive, although barely. But I shall keep it alive, because I do need to write, or else I'll completely lose it. And when I say IT, I don't even completely know what IT is...

And no, I didn't start a blog just to "be part of the in thing" or "because everyone else has one" unlike SOME PEOPLE. Siapa makan babi terasalah babinya.

Anyway, write I shall. Since I have not been updating this baby for close to two months, I shall write about the reason why I had stopped updating.

I blame it totally on this evil, evil social networking thingy called Facebookery. As of today, I am a complete Facebook Bitch married to a total Facebook All Star. Status updates, photo comments, Facebook Notes, plus all the games that I'm hooked on like Restaurant City, Barn Buddy, Farmville, Pet Society and of late, Cafe World - those are the things to be blamed for my non-performance in the blogging department.

This has also resulted in several bouts of writer's block that has kept me off blogging.

But I shall continue to write. I promise. Only until I finish serving up my meals on Cafe World!!!

ramadhan, kampung style

2009-08-22T12:42:00.003+08:00

I miss spending Ramadhan in Batu Pahat, at my grandmother's place.

I grew up with my Arwah Maktok since I was a baby until my primary school days, and I'm glad I did because if I didn't I wouldn't know what the meaning of berpuasa in a kampung meant. At that time, my parents were in JB and being the eldest, born to parents who are just starting out in life (ie. mak aku tak reti nak jaga baby yang melalak-lalak sepanjang malam) I was given to my Maktok to be taken care of (not in the mafia sense of "taken care" OK!!!)

When Ramadhan comes, Maktok will always make sure that she makes starters and desserts to accompany the main meal of iftar. This was when she was younger, and hadn't experienced her knee problems yet. She had Auntie Noh and Auntie Endon to help her too (my two unmarried aunties who were staying with her). So in a household of 3 women, you can imagine what good food I enjoyed.

The best thing was the exchange of kuih / lauk / starters with the neigbours. And I was the designated delivery girl, the one who sends all this to our neighbours. When I gave our neighbours Maktok's treats, they will then "exchange" it with something of theirs. And I know which house yang masakan dia sedap and which house suffers from a BAD CHEF.

When iftar comes, we usually have about 8 different offerings from 8 different households! There was no need for a Bazaar Ramadhan back then.

And life was so simple and good!

This Ramadhan, I'm thankful to be spending it with The Diver and our kids, and also our dear beloved friends.

A happy and blessed Ramadhan, everyone!

lest I forget...

2009-08-14T00:46:00.002+08:00

Waking up with you at seven,
Is like waking up in heaven.
Nothing that I want than a touch that calms,
Like your touch when you're in my arms

Your body warmed me through the night
We sleep entwined till the early light
Your love flowed through me more and more
And I love you and truly adore...

I truly miss the person who wrote this.

And I pray to God that he will forever remain this way.

my inner SeaDemon, unleashed...

2009-08-05T17:40:00.009+08:00

Is that apprehension or fear in your eyes, JZ? Going for the Adventure Deep Dive.

On the 3rd of August 2009, I was officially certified as an Open Water Diver. With a firm handshake from my instructor Nafie, of the Seahorse Dive Centre in Perhentian, and a "Welcome to the club" greet, I felt as if I've achieved something that I never thought I could.

In 1998, while I was working as a Web Content editor - Amanda, my web designer friend and I had worked on a project for Micheal Patrick Wong, a brilliant underwater photographer for an online version of his book, Malaysia Beneath the Waves. In the few instances that Mr Wong met us, he talked ever so magically about the underwater world. From that day on, my interest was piqued.

A marriage, three kids and a divorce later, I stumbled upon a blog by John F Seademon called Narcaholic, hosted at Wordpress. Here was a single father writing about all sorts of stuff from diving to politics to his kids as well as his heartbreaks. I first commented on his blog on September 4 2007, in one of his "great journey" entries. And who would have known that today, this person and I are man and wife.

We got married in March of 2009, and most people ask me why had I not dived any earlier. In fact, The Diver (as he is now known in my blog) has always been gently encouraging me to start diving ever since we started going out in March of 2008.

A few reasons why - first of all, I've started growing flabs ever since I went out with The Diver, dari hari ke hari lemak perut berlapis2. So yes, I have this inferiority thing about donning a wetsuit (although The Diver always points out to me "see sayang, she's fatter" whenever a diver fatter than I walk in front of us).

Second reason adalah, kalau aku tak pass Open Water tu, adalah kemaluan besar. My stepdaughter Hana did it when she was 13. And at 17, she's an Advanced OW already. Cipetkan kalau aku gagal. So, second reason adalah ketakutan yang teramat sangat.

Lastly, the MAIN reason was purely selfish and emo (akibat 5 tahun makan nasi kawah) - I hated the fact that he used to dive with his ex girlfriend. I just simply detest the fact that she has dived with him and I don't want to be another Dive Buddy that signs off in his dive log with Love you or Miss you.. HAHAHAH!! THERE YOU HAVE IT!! Bongok tak? Yes, I'm psycho like that.

I don't wanna be a freaking REPLACEMENT. I know they used to dive together, so I told myself, the only way that I will take up diving is after I'm married to The Diver. Somehow, everytime he talks about his underwater sojourns, I'm reminded of his blog entry when he described a dive with her. Am I jealous? NO. But I just like to be bitter about things.

That's just me. Benda yang tak patut aku menyampahkan, aku menyampah. But hey, I'm just being honest here OK.

But then after our marriage, and growing up a bit.. I finally decided to give it a go. And I love diving with The Diver. He makes me feel safe and he knows what creatures I like to see underwater. It does make our relationship more meaningful, and of course make our island holidays more fun because we are together ALL THE TIME :)

And yes, I sign off as his Dive Buddy. But I don't call him Seademon "Dearie" or even sign off with a "love you" or "miss you". Itu hanya untuk orang2 yang memakai sequinned dress bila berada di Tioman sahaja.

On our first dive together at Perhentian's Tukun Laut, I wrote in his log:

I will remember this dive

For the rest of my life...

LAME. But original, no? :P

The Diver and I buddying for the first time at Tukun Laut.

The Diver and one of his great hugs... and my hair gets all curly everytime I come out of the water.. This was taken right before my third dive (final one for OW) and after I loaded up on 100 plus and Red Bull.

money no enuff

2009-07-20T11:02:00.004+08:00

After my graduation in the summer of 1997, I went back to Malaysia thinking that I could do a bit of jalan-jalan cross country. But as soon as I got home, my dad started to bug me on when JPA was gonna call and offer me a job. Aku rasa nak cakap je, "Kau baca paper tiap2 hari kau tak tau ke sekarang ni tengah Asian financial crisis?" Tapi takpela. I waited and waited and JPA didn't call.

So my dad yang tak sabar-sabar sebab aku menghabiskan beras dia, hooked me up with his good friend who's an MD of a listed company who's in need of a PA at the JB office. That was my first job, PA-ing. I was paid RM1,800 per month. I had too much time on my hands because my boss was also CEO/MD at other companies and was rarely in that office.

Walaupun gaji aku ciput tu je, aku rasa cam kaya sangat. Sebab boleh beli baju korean silk, ada handphone nasi lemak, pergi melawat then BF kat KL, etc. Naik flight lagi okay.

But hey, how can I, whose degree was International Relations be contented with being a PA to a non-existent boss? So I started job-hunting, and finally landed a job at a web development company in KL, as a Web Content Executive with the same pay. Remember that this was 1997/98 so it's the internet boom days lah. And at the same time, JPA offered me a post with a pay of RM1,500.

So mana mau pilih? Keja gomen or keja tempat happening yang boleh pakai jeans every day (the Internet thingy was WAYYY too cool way back then)?

I chose the job at the web development company. At this point looking back, I'm glad that my dad didn't even once interfered on my career path process. Hmm.. bagus.. bagus....

Fast forward, aku pernah jadi City Editor, VP of Web Content in a couple of web-based companies. And of course, with the pay increase I started indulging more and more in brands that I have been so fond of every since my uni days, and some even from my high school days.

And money was never enough.

When I was married to my deadbeat ex and after my children came, I started to do a lot of budget reallocation. For instance, switching to cheaper facial cleansers, buying generic brands masa beli groceries, etc. But I still indulged from time to time, especially masa dapat bonus. And I'm always thinking.. oh.. when I'm rich I will buy this and that and this and that... I was always craving and envying and all that.

I also did part-time freelance editing work to supplement my income, throughout my marriage and more so after my divorce. And after the divorce when I was going out with Lip Service he did give me money which made me felt really CHEAP. So in return, I offered some copywriting / branding services for his company. I don't think this would work lah, since it made me feel soooo OWNED and not good for my morale. And I thought, macam mana la eh orang kalau ada sugar daddy? The feeling is not good at all.

Now that I'm married to The Diver and all settled and stable, with the benefits of combined income, something changed in me.

I no longer have the insatiable desire to shop for things I don't need. I've managed to curb my spending habits and am no longer the shopaholic I once was. I do splurge at times, I still have my handbag cravings, but I rarely give in to unplanned temptations.

And for once, I felt that I have grown up.

warning: adult content

2009-06-23T15:36:00.001+08:00

When I was a little girl, I thought:

"The harder you study, the richer you'll become when you're an adult."

Boy, was I wrong. You and I know that your SPM results mean jackshit in real life. And that if you got bad grades in school does not make you a loser in life.

So what is the importance of education? To me, it allows a person to think, and make informed decisions. To know the difference of what is wrong and what is right. This does not mean that educated people will always make the right decision, it's just that at least they can differentiate which one is right or wrong, and why they come up with their decisions. You know, like making informed decisions instead of according to their whims and fancies. Contohnya, beli kereta yang lebih mahal dari neighbours, just to show off wealth. Not because they like the car, but saja nak menunjuk.

I'm not imposing any moral judgement here, and to me education is not only about school-education but opening up your eyes to the environment around you, prying open your minds to evaluate aspects in life. Holding a PhD does not make you "educated" per se.

Okay, to better illustrate the difference between the educated and the not-so, let's just compare .. say.. menjual pookey. Now menjual pookey is morally wrong but both the educated and non-educated do it.

Here's an example of a stupid woman's modus operandi semasa nak menjual pookey. She is SO STUPID, she doesn't even know the difference between KFC and McDonald's ok.

OK now, the non-educated bitch will marry the son of a prominent Tun expecting the guy to be as rich as his friggin' dad. In a rush to get the Tun's son, she lied to him saying that the four bastards that she kept referring to as anak2 angkat, were actually her own flesh and blood. Dia tak tau yang Tun tu bukannya la bongok sangat tak boleh buat background check on her.

Little does she know that Tun's son is a free-spirited idealist, whose wardrobe are as cheap as any Tom, Dick and Harry's. The Tun's son was brought up in a nepotism-free environment and does not want to leverage on his dad's name. The Tun's son is his own man, and ready to prove that he can make it on his own.

Eventually, she realized that marrying the Tun's son wouldn't make her an heiress or a millionairess. So the non-educated bitch grumbled and stomped her feet and demanded to the Tun's son that her Kenari be switched to a Perdana V6 (ala-ala gomen) because to her, that car epitomizes success, granted that she only socializes in dangdut taverns and is a member of Puteri Umno.

The Tun's son, a romantic at heart, thought that a Perdana V6 would be the the solution to his marriage woes. Meanwhile, the brainless bitch went around dropping the Tun's name to gain her position in Puteri Umno. And in a twisted twist of fate, managed to fool a group of bleached blonds into voting her as Ketua Puteri Umno of Melayang-Layang. Now this was her ticket to making money - becoming a "project broker". Don't ask me how this works but in a nutshell, she gets projects for people, and gets a commision for that. How did she managed to do this? Well, at this point she sells her pookey to other people la, behind the Tun's son's back.

It worked. For a while.

The Tun's son later found out, and eventually they divorced. Now brainless bitch did not care because by this time, she was rolling in the dough selling pookey for projects. Until PRU 12 came, and the Opposition took over the State where Melayang-Layang is located in. And her pookey-selling stories have spread all over like bushfire, and somehow she lost her seat in Puteri Umno.

God knows where she's selling her pookey now.

Now what would a smart woman do in a situation like above?

She would have married the Tun, and waited for him to pass on. Senang, no?

reality check...1..2..

2009-06-10T23:15:00.003+08:00

After we got back from dinner just now, and after settling a few house chores, The Diver went to the loo to do his business. From the room, I said to him, "Sayang, I think I need new work pants."

And he replied with a, "What?"

"I THINK I NEED NEW WORK PANTS, BLACK ONES."

Pause. Then he quipped, "Do you think you need anything else?"

Ah, how sweet of him, I thought... thinking probably that he wanted to get me a suit,

or a new pair of Crocs Cabana or Hanalei...

or that other shade of Bobbi Brown Pot Rouge that I wanted...

or maybe he finally remembered that I wanted to do something with my overly long hair (at least overly long according to me)

So I asked him, "Like what?"

"Like maybe you NEED to lose weight!"

OK now, The Diver is beginning to sound like a real husband :P

DNAS made my day..

2009-06-09T11:42:00.004+08:00

While recovering from a bad food poisoning bout, I received a message from a friend who went to the same high school as I did, telling me that she's given me an AWARD (check out my sidebar heh). DNAS updates her blog more than I do, and she write more substantial stuff ... so I feel kinda malu lah *blush* . And I was flattered when she described me as:

Jazzmatazz: A Srikandi and we used to be in the same English class for a few years (or was it 5 years?) She and a few others set the bar for our English especially when we had Mrs. Soon as English teacher. She looks soft and at times rather fragile, but the truth is she’s a very strong woman (emotionally) and a fighter. Go and dig her older blog entries for proof.

Thank you DNAS, for the wonderful praises.

The rules:
o Write five (5) interesting facts about the person who gave you this award.
o Jot down ten (10) interesting facts about yourself or your hobbies.
o Pick your ten (10 or less) most deserving recipients and describe them.
o Leave a comment on the recipients' blog to tell them they've been tagged.
o Paste the award badge in your sidebar.
o Have fun!

Section 1: 5 Interesting Things About Makcik DNAS

She's a fantastic writer, despite being such an IT nerd! Hahah... I always kutuk all the IT nerds on how these people can't write. But boy, she prove me wrong big time!
She's very opinionated, and I wish I am brave enough to be as opinionated as her sometimes.
I remember her to be very talented in school - selalu macam active2 la in all sorts of stuff. Sorry la DNAS, aku ni dah memory loss (not as bad as Rina Rahayu but getting there...). But I do remember her as being involved in a lot of extra co-curricular activities.
I agree with her that she is a reluctant leader. For example somehow kalau bab2 Srikandi activities the name "Dayang" just comes to mind..Hehehe.. sorry beb...And in school, she's always Head of something.
In school, I like her because she's not the baik2 type nor is she the jahat2 type (like me). I mean, you know she'll never rat on you if she sees you breaking school rules. I think. And she's just supercool!

Section 2: 10 Interesting Facts About Me

I started this blog hoping that it would become an outlet for me to vent out things. Things that I couldn't tell anyone at that time. Initially hoped for it to be an Anonymous blog but I thought what the f&ck... (ok, this is not an interesting fact about me, but mampusla)
Then, I wrote out of spite. Until I met The Diver. I still write out of spite, sometimes. Does that make me a spiteful person? I don't think so, because I'm never spiteful in real life :P
I suffer from delayed emotional reaction sometimes. For instance if someone close to me dies, I don't cry upon hearing the news, but will cry many, many hours after or even the day after..weird.
I find cooking therapeutic. But I find cleaning up stressful. So I only like to cook when my bibik is around.
I'm not a registered voter, and my dad is an active politician. I really do not know why I'm not one.
I grew up in a family that believes in UMNO and the good that is stands for. My aunts, uncles, grandparents have selflessly contributed a lot to the party. And if they did it just to get "projects" they would have been millionaires by now. In the past decade however, I was exposed to the truth. And it's not pretty and it's not the UMNO that I knew when I was a kid growing up in Batu Pahat. Hey, maybe that's why I'm not a registered voter!
I still am amazed at how I first "met" The Diver. It makes me smile everytime I think about it.
I am a walking irony - you'll understand this if you know me in real life.
My kids make me melt all the time. I will always say yes to everything they want, but thank god for The Diver who keeps a check and balance :)
I'm a big eater. Not like portion big, but more like I can nibble on anything all day... and if someone asks me out for Makan I would most likely say yes. And I have ridiculous cravings all the time, not only when I'm pregnant ok. And my current craving now is : NASI GANJA! (Tak sedar diri kau tu recovering from food poisoning.. cheh..)

Section 3: And The Award goes out to...

The Diver - aka John F Seademon, aka The Demon, aka my beloved hubby. Fresh out of my divorce, I bumped into his blog, and it was the first time that I actually CRIED reading some guy's blog. Cheh. He's an excellent writer, funny and witty and ridiculously smart. I envy him. And he has a memory of an elephant.
Chics in Red - I crack up when I read her blog. And I'm proud to say that she's a SRIKANDI, y'all!!!! She's so honest and funny and that's what blogs should be like.
Bleepit - I don't know her personally but she's the Queen of Crazy! And a fellow Johorean too, Johor rawkss!!!! I love it that she's so foul-mouthed, but not offensive :) Whatever that means...
Mat Gebu - I seriously am addicted to this site. The Diver and I always talk about him, and imagining how his life is - what a good life he has with good food and he has a knack for taking saliva-inducing pictures as well.
Joe Perantau - aka Joe Bangla heheeh... He's a Malaysian living and working in the States. And if he doesn't crack you up, there must be something wrong with you. I don't know this guy personally but his stories are such an inspiration those yang MALAS KERJA. This guy really slogs, okay.. hats off!
A Camera, Three Cats and A Husband - is my sister's blog! Know what, she doesn't have to write longggggg to amuse me. I mean, this is a perfect example how less is more and how a marvellous picture can speak a thousand words.

i am woman

2009-06-05T17:49:00.004+08:00

I cannot thank God enough for making me a woman.

And no, it's not only because women have more variety of clothes to choose from as compared to men.

I love being a woman because I can look at another woman, and drool and admire her beauty - and not have any sexual inclinations towards her. See men can never understand this... generally, they will not say that another man is "handsome" or "good-looking". They will as much as possible refrain from making comments on another guy's physique. Which is weird.

I just realized this during my trip to Jakarta a few years back. You know how the girls at Plaza Senayan are just... so fashionable and completely made up - with Kim Kardashian hair and legs that go on until forever? I had a ball chick-watching. Actually we were in Jakarta for a water exhibition, and the models that they used for the show was just amazing. Not only were they drop dead gorgeous, they're beauty with brains. They're far away from being bimbos okay... They can really sell their products!

Another instance was when I wanted to buy the Pixy Compact Powder at Pasar Baru in Bandung. That was the first time I wanted to try buying Pixy because some people said that it is a good product. So there I was, asking this lovely Bandung lass about Pixy. And she recommended me another brand which is better, according to her, called La Tulipe. Once she spoke, I was hooked. It's just the way she flutters her eyelids, and the appropriateness of her speech, and use of language. And yes, she was pretty - porcelain complexion and beautiful features.

I mean, can you imagine if you want to buy something at Chow Kit, you will get a Minah Rempit saying, "Akak.. akak cuba arr yang ni.. bagus arr.. " Such a turn off!!!

So in the end, I bought a compact powder, a refill, some collagen face spray and some capsules of cucumber extract. Oh, I even bought a lipstick the same colour she was wearing. Cuz she looked so hot in it.

OK, some of you might think that I have lesbian tendencies for writing all that. But let me make a point here, with Karina Lombard' hot-ass picture right here:

Do I want to get in her pants? Hell no. But do I find her delicious? Hell, yeah. I'd rather gawk at her than probably Tom Cruise (sorry but I don't find him attractive at all). :P

* The Diver, please wipe off that dirty little thought!!!

wayang

2009-05-25T17:56:00.003+08:00

Who doesn't like going to the movies? There's always something nostalgic about the big screen.

My first ever visit to the cinema was for Grease - way back in the late 70's, in a quaint little hamlet called Batu Pahat. I can vaguely remember the storyline, but all I know was after watching Grease, I'd make my aunt tie my hair up a la Olivia Newton John everytime I go for music class.

I also recalled my first and only trip to the movies with my dad for Robocop. How the heck that happened I can't even recall.

In the States, I had a ball going to all those mega cineplexes and succumbed to the Malaysian student modus operandi of tengok wayang back-to-back. Meaning you pay for only one movie, and then slip in the other cinema to watch the next one once your movie ends. My record was 5 movies in a row. I watched way too many movies back then.

Watching movies in Malaysia is no fun. There will always be a bunch of loudmouths, rowdy teens, horny couples and ringing handphones. I've developed my own set of house rules when going to the movies:

1. Front half of the cinema please. To avoid distractions, I only seat myself around the F - H rows. No back rows, absolute no no. Biar aku mendongak ke langit, jangan suruh aku duduk belakang.

2. No watching movies on weekends, except when really, really unavoidable. Ie, when we have to take the kids with us. I have in fact, taken annual leave just to catch a movie on a weekday.

3. My pet peeve is going to the movies with someone who laughs too loud. Especially when everyone else is silent. Once a long time ago, I went out on a date with a guy who had a habit of doing that. And I don't mean the HAHAHAH laugh OK, this one was the guttural guffaw that makes me cringe to the bone... Uwek. Terus aku dump dia.

Tu je la, takde la teruk sangat. But all in all, if I ever migrate to the States, one of the reasons would be because I miss going to the movies there. Recently, we went for Star Trek and a group of tudunged teens barely 17 were seated in front of us. As soon as Spock came out, one of them shrieked, "Eh eh.. telinga dia TAJAMMM~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!"

See what I mean.

penipu

2009-05-18T21:43:00.004+08:00

This might come as a surprise to you but I used to go out with a married man.

It was a very dark chapter in my life and I am honestly not proud of it. In the 7 years I was married to an abusive, angry, lazy man, I never once cheated on him. I never once looked at a guy and even THOUGHT of having an affair. Even when I was so unloved and so neglected. Never once.

But at the end of my marriage, I went out with a married man and my reputation was tarnished forever (more on my reputation in another post). It happened right before my divorce. Let's just call him Lip Service. See, because I have been stupidly loyal throughout my marriage, the decision for me to go out with Lip Service was made after he actually said he loved me, because I don't simply GO OUT with people. A promise of marriage was made, and then I finally decided that yes, I shall bear the brunt of being The Other Woman, I shall sacrifice and wait for Lip Service to find the "right time" (and I will always tell him that there will never be a RIGHT time) to tell his wife of our relationship and hopefully she will understand and they will get a divorce and we will get married and live happily ever after.

I was not naive. I went into the relationship knowing that it's a 50-50 sing-or-float thing (ek eleh, sink-or-float lah... sorry for the typo). After over a year of clandestine meetings, SMSes, lunches, dinners, tete-a-tete's, I could smell that he was a bit too slow for my own good.

His "I love you's" were uttered too many times, but just not enough. I was heavily involved with him, I helped him conceptualize his business, which was supposed to be an 'avenue' for us to get married (I didn't see the logic behind it at all, but he did) and I was getting way too deep.

Now after 7 years of shit, I was able to rationalize things better. I decided to pull out from the relationship. There were no formal break-ups, no teary farewells - I just faded away. And at that point, he knew that whatever words that came-up from his mouth meant jack shit to me. He knew. Despite his reassurances, I decided to walk away.

The funny thing is, when I was going through all that, The Diver was always there for me emotionally, as a friend. We both sometimes talk to each other about our relationships, and how they're going to end. We laughed, we joked, we bitched. And I'm glad we did all that, because now we completely understand and most importantly value each other so much. *I LOVE YOU DADDYKINS* (iklan jap).

That was why I got a bit pissed when I found out recently that Lip Service's wife thought that him and I were only a fling. It was nothing serious, just a stupid affair that Lip Service dabbled in, probably a mid-life crisis thing. I was pissed, but not surprised, really. In spite of all those talks about marriage, about expanding the business, about spending the rest of our lives together and also he admitted to CONFESSING to his wife of his love for ME, in the end they were all lies. So now I have only one thing to say to him... UP YOURS!

the perils of love

2009-04-23T20:35:00.004+08:00

It's pathetic how sparse my updates have been in 2009. Honestly, I put the blame entirely on Facebook because that's a dangerous addiction that I've completely succumbed to. Tak cukup dengan Facebooking, updating status, commenting on people's status and photos - I'm also hooked on Pet Society and Restaurant City. And ini semua salah si Aiz (hahahah!!!).

Anyway, The Diver was away last week in Sipadan and yesterday, after a day arriving from Tawau he was off to Lumut for work. I have this thing when The Diver is away, I will become emotional, and hypersensitive tak tentu arah. And then I start seeking solace on comfort foods, or anything that is within my reach, in this case today on Kartika Sari's Brownies and Pisang Molen that I brought back from Bandung.

Well anyway, that's not my point.

My point is, there is a confession that I have to make.

The Diver and I have been together for more than a year. And usually after a year, relationships start to you know, slow down a bit, and you would want your own "space" (whatever that means). But this time around, it's not like that. And we see each other almost every day, the most we've been away was just for his Sipadan trip, ie, 5 friggin' days.

It hurts to be away from him, and it hurts more even after our more than a year relationship. It seems that I am more dependent on him now than I ever was. I need him more than ever, and can't seem to do without him. I'm becoming Miss Dependent and I love it. I feel all good and flowery and bubbly and too jiwang maybe for my own friends to take. And that scares the heck out of me.

Am I anal? Am I just psycho for feeling this way? Am I just scared of feeling good, feeling loved just because I was so used to a crappy marriage and shitty relationships before?

Let's just leave those unanswered, for now.

with you, i can never ask for more...

2009-04-14T14:54:00.009+08:00

This is a thank you note that is long overdue.

These people helped made our nikah ceremony much more meaningful and special. At first The Diver and I wanted an intimate, family and very very close friends nikah, followed by a simple brunch at the Clubhouse. No frills. But with the help of these people it turned out to be still an intimate affair but much nicer than I'd ever thought it would be. And everyone had fun too!

Firstly, I wanna thank my sister, Zaza, for coming home all the way from Japan, with her husband Kazu. I'm so glad that we waited for you to have this wedding, cuz it would've been the wrong thing to do without having you guys around! Zaza and Azrin, my cousin, took so many lovely shots for us that day! (And they work for food too, so we didn't have to pay them!)

Our family of camwhores... Yes people, this was in the mosque...kehkehkeh....

My aunt, cousins and again Kazu and Zaza transformed the Clubhouse into something quite magical. We had garlands of jasmine strewn all over the banister, and we had sundal malam (Komar cakap tuberose) as posies on the tables. The whole place was engulfed in such a heavenly scent!

Props to mah man Dalina, the head florist. Muahahahah.. Buat bunga sambil hisap rokok... who can top that? She got so stressed probably that she wanted to eat all the sundal malams in the pic above.

Zaza and Kazu did this lovely mehndi for my hands. It was a nightmare, they did it at 4 am and it turned out BRILLIANT!I'm also extremely happy that my makeup artist could make it even at the very last minute! Sorry Kak Monnie, my bad! She is so talented and she's also my senior from school. Yes, my Srikandi buddies are good enough for the A-Z's of ANY wedding, I tell ya! Thank you Kak Monnie for hiding my panda eyes and making this 34-year-old bride not look THAT bad.

Having something to eat before the nikah. The girls really calmed me down.. hehehe... Although I was a bit hesitant wearing that little tiara. Tu lah, lain kali jangan kutuk Siti Nurhaliza lebih-lebih.My heart goes out to my Dad (in yellow shirt), for having faith in us. And for agreeing to have the nikah on that day in spite of the crazy busy week that he was having.

Some of my cousins who were at the wedding - thank you for making everything more FUN!! They can laugh all night and day macam orang gila...

To my two naughty ones, Yunus and Medina (Ali not in picture sebab dia kurang naughty) thank you for behaving yourselves at the mosque.

Ida and Ita were gracious enough to be the sponsor of cupcakes that day! Thank you lunch buddies!To our Brady Bunch family, and my new 4 stepchildren - although I only get to be your stepmom on Sundays thank you for accepting me as a part of your lives.

And these people, are my friends till the end. They've been with us through our ups and downs. Amazingly, we don't get tired of seeing their faces at least once a week! And the wedding after-party at Las Carretas kicked assssss!!!!! I love you guys.

And finally, to The Diver - I love the way we always laugh together and also at each other! Thank you for sticking by me in tough times and thank you for knowing me, inside out like the back of your hand. Your understanding is just.... matchless!

My sincerest thanks to all of you for making our big day so special. It was definitely my idea of the perfect wedding - small, simple, fun and I was definitely all smiles!

after 10 minutes, still no title. so what the heck...

2009-02-27T23:08:00.005+08:00

The signs. God has shown signs that I should update my blog.

Last year, I did weekly updates, but this year I'm guilty of monthly ones. And my writing - I don't know, it seems that I have lost my mojo. Today, I can't write as well as I could maybe two, three years back, I can't think of anything acerbic when I need to people-bash, I turned to stuffing my face with food rather than write when I'm pissed off with someone... you get the drift. Orang kata, bukan aku, tapi orang... people produce their best works when they're sad, or depressed, or angry... So maybe I should be depressed again? Ish... pegang kayu...sentuh kayu...

Anyway, back to the signs. Gilabaa punya digress kat atas tu...

Something happened yesterday and today that made me realize, maybe those are signs that I should update my lame-ass blog.

Yesterday, after our Sakae Sushi dinner The Diver and I were greeted by this smiley-faced Adik. At first I thought, this must be The Diver's diving anak buah or something, and The Diver thought, hmm.. this must be budak junior STF who knew me...Then suddenly she went, "You guys don't know me but I read your blogs!!!"

Azlin the Adik who reads our blog, The Diver and I...

I didn't know what to feel. Embarrased, mainly because I haven't been updating at all. Embarassed for also not being able to write as coherently or as interestingly as I used to. But of course, I was flattered too! And honoured, for a stranger to come up to you and congratulate you for finally finding true love. And today she e-mailed The Diver, and I'm putting up this one line which made me go AWWWWWWWWW!!!!! , I hope you don't mind Adik...

"If there are people who have given up on hope,love,happiness; I told them how you guys met and what both of you went through."

Cerita belum habis lagi kak.

So an hour ago, I checked my Yahoo mail, since FizRi said he emailed the STF dinner picture to that email address. And guess what I found (besides FizRi's e-mail la)... jeng jeng jeng....

An email entitled, "The Day It's About Time", addressed to me. Cuba teka siapa punya blog posting yang titlenya selalu bermula dengan "The Day".. And she said she "sebak" when she read one of my older posts, and that in turn made me "sebak" HUHUHUH UHUUUUUU....WTF la, must be an STF thing this crying over god-knows-what, but I like being able to be sebak and menyebakkan ... And that's not all she said. I don't think I want to disclose it here but suffice to say, I didn't think she would find my blog enjoyable at all cuz hers is like the Manolo of all blogs.

But anyway, those are the signs my friends. And update, I shall (try).

And I will also try to refute the fact that people can only write their best when they're at their worst.

And before I end, let me indulge you with a group photo (taken by FizRi) of some ladies from our batch from STF, at last week's Glitterati a la Femme Dinner (nama yang sangat takde maknanya... tapi takpe)

me no spik englis

2009-02-03T11:29:00.003+08:00

With two events coming up in less than a week, and a pre-planned weekend in Tioman coming up, I barely have time to breathe at the office. But I HAVE to write this because I'm soooooo sick of getting resumes/calls for interships from Mass Comm students who speak worse English than my 7 year old.

Every day, I'm just so appalled at the deteriorating command of English that of our Malay grads. It's amazingly appalling. And I don't know how or why this has become so bad.

I mean, if you say that these grads come from a "kampung" background, I really beg to differ. I come from a not-so-kampung kampung but my primary school friends came from very diverse backgrounds, some even from the lower income group. And we can speak English well because our English teacher, Mrs Tan made us SPEAK English in English classes. So yes, I believe teachers do play an important role in this. Also, our English teacher speaks impeccable English, with proper grammar... unlike English teachers nowadays.

And I hate it when Malays have this stupid notion that when you speak English it makes you less Malay. Bukak la mata sikit... if you work in a multinational company, how are you suppose to climb the corporate ladder when all you can say is "Watper beb? Katner beb?".

And nak kata these grads are SOOOOO excellent in Malay pun tak jugak. When they speak in Malay, they sound like minah / mat rempits. And to make it worse, they won't event ATTEMPT to speak English. I've dealt with so many Chinese suppliers/business partners or whatever, and their English is berterabur as well, but they will just bulldoze and speak as long as the other party can understand what they're saying, they're fine.

I've lost my point in writing this because I've digressed too much. I've just had it with our local Malay grads... the main reason why I'm writing this post is to share with you a snippet of a resume that was sent to me by a UPM Communications student who's majoring in Corporate Communications, in her third year. She's applying for an intership post in my department:

"DIRI SAYA
Saya adalah seorang yang rajin dan bermotivasi dalam mencapai matlamat yang saya inginkan. Saya juga seorang yang mudah dibawa berbincang dan mempunyai kemahiran berinteraksi dengan pelbagai pihak. Ini bersesuaian dengan pengkhususan saya di dalam bidang Komunikasi Korporat. Untuk mencapai kejayaan kita perlu mempunyai pegangan dan ayat ini adalah pendorong saya selama ini “ do or do not, no try-try”."

OUCH.

sometimes i so want to have my own torture chamber for idiots like these

2009-01-06T13:27:00.003+08:00

This is a test. Cuba korang baca e-mail bawah ni. Paham tak?

Greetings all,

This year, instead of traditional printed cards, we have opted to go with an environmentally-friendly way to send festive wishes to our friends, business associates and clients. Instead of the traditional paper greeting cards, you can now send e-cards to them! Simply click on this link http://www.xxxx and you’re able to send wishes for the upcoming Chinese New Year.

Since this is new to us, there are quite of a few things that need to be ironed out so please let Rhonda (bukan nama sebenar) and I know should you encounter any glitches.

Please use only the company email addresses (don’t use your Gmail or Yahoo) in the “Sender” box.

Have fun sending out your e-cards and thank you for helping us reduce carbon footprint!

I sent out this email two weeks back to everyone in the company. And this morning sorang Nyonya yang terkenal dengan memakai baju jinjang-joe as office attire dan juga wedding orang Melayu, came to my room and asked,

"Can I have the Chinese New Year cards?"

Nak terbelahak aku masa tu sebab tengah minum teh ais, "Didn't you get my email?" I said.

"Yes I did, but some people want real cards."

Cipet.

Tak paham ke apa yang aku tulis kat atas tu? Was my e-mail unclear or dia yang blur?

Tu je lah nak vent out. Aku memang takde cerita sensasi.

welcoming the new year

2009-01-01T23:56:00.002+08:00

Dear 2009,

I hope you will be good to me. 2008 was a good one, but I'm sure you can be better. 2007 was a roller coaster of extreme shittiness and extreme happiness, so 2007 has its ups and downs. 2008 was more stable - in all aspects of my life.

What's good about 2007 is that that was the year that I first met The Diver. Albeit only as friends at first, I finally met this awesome blogwriter whose blog I frequent nightly before I go to bed. That was also the year I was officially divorced, I'd rather call it emancipated - which was good because after all those years of pent-up anger, verbal and physical abuses I managed to free myself from a life that's not worth living. In 2007 too I was going out with one Mr Lip Service who's supposed to take care of me and the kids, someone who promised me the world. It's good that I took everything with a pinch of salt. Somehow 7 years of bad marriage taught me how to not believe.

In early 2008, in fact on 1st January 2008 I let myself free of all the feelings for Mr Lip Service. I could've stayed but I am through with all this drama and fighting and breaking people's hearts. Plus Mr Lip Service had no balls. I shall not elaborate further.

A lot of people say that The Diver and I have a perfect relationship, but in truth all relationships have their own flaws. We have been happy in 2008, and we wish to be happier in 2009. I wish for The Diver to be less temperamental.. and I hope that I can be less picky and moody. Yes I do pick on him on certain days :P But that's only because I love him. Heheh. Make sense ke?

Last year I also had tons of fun with my friends, new and old ones. It's great when you have common friends with your partner - there's no such thing as "your" friends and "my" friends. They're all OUR friends. And both The Diver and I love them to death.

So 2009, I hope you will be awesome to all of us.

Love,
JZ

my random shopaholic anecdote

2008-12-16T10:27:00.000+08:00

Good stuff, bad English.

In this past month, I've been to Jakel 3 times. Yup, three freakin' times. Oh sudah tentu bukan with The Diver... well once, with The Diver, tu pun lepas dia kenyang makan nasi lemak Tanglin, so he was happy enough to drive me there. The two times I went was with my partners in crime la, Pretty Zienta and cuppacakes. In fact, last Friday afternoon after our free lunch-cum-meeting at Concorde's Melting Pot we went straight there. (Agak kantoi kalau orang ofis baca blog aku ni, but what the heck)

I have a lotta respect for this Jakel sales people. Now this is the customer service that most retail outlets should emulate, they will consult you on the type of colours, materials, etc.. for whatever baju that you want to make. And they're quite knowledgeable I can tell you that.

But the best thing is, the salesgirls really know how to sell, and I mean SELL. They'll say such thing as, "Kak, kain ni bagus kak, chiffon pelangi, akak putih OK pakai macam ni" or "Saya potong eh kain ni kak, pakai credit card pun boleh...." or even "Kak, this one bestseller kak - last few metres je ni... nak habis dah ni kak lepas ni takde pattern macam ni" or.. "Tak beli pun takpe kak, saya nak tunjuk je..."

They even have suave floor managers that act as "fluffers" - their floor managers are usually guys in their early 30s, with Beckam-like hair, Raoul-like shirt yang probably dia beli kat Jalan TAR and jeans that will sweet talk the garangest of makciks into buying cloths that they don't even need..... Best of all, these fluffers can even give you discounts. Cool.

But the one that got me was this:

I was looking at this REALLY nice chiffon new arrival with geometric patterns... and was really contemplating on buying. But they're a bit on the pricey side la RM265 or something... So I told the salesgirl, "Takpelah dik, lain kali..." She kept on pestering me to buy, and finally said, "Kak, nanti malam tidur termimpi-mimpi kak..."

Now THAT really got me. Sekarang aku tidur tiap2 malam either mimpi kain tu or the dress that I saw at Ikano which is an exact replica of one that is RM100 more expensive at Great Eastern Mall. Heheh...

To The Diver: jangan lupa beli itu dress OK. Thanking you in advance.

Chow Kit and my jagung rebus

2008-12-01T14:14:00.002+08:00

Last night The Diver and I went to buy groceries at the Chow Kit market. Yes, some of you might gasp... but it sure beats lining up at Tesco's fish and seafood section to get your fish gutted and cleaned.

We only go to Chow Kit at night, usually around midnight - parking's quite easy and best of all, I love the colorful characters that you can see around the area. For instance, we saw two prostitutes in full costume buying their vegetables and belacans, etc... You can also meet a Bangla that speaks Malay with an Indonesian accent... etc... Benda2 macam tu takde kat Tesco... or Giant.. or Carrefour.... And you'll get hit left and right by shopping carts yang ditolak oleh Ah Soh2 and Makcik2 yang kiasu je kat hypermarkets macam tu. Shit I hate being hit by shopping carts.

When we were done with our shopping, I told The Diver that I wanted to buy the jagung rebus from an Indon lady in front of the sundry shop. Wanna know why? It's not so much that I want to eat the jagung la... but it just reminded me of my trips to the wet market in Batu Pahat with my late maktok. When I was a kid I will always buy jagung rebus everytime we go to the market. You know, the unpretentious jagung rebus - no butter, no salt, just naturally sweet jagung....

I really miss my late Maktok. She passed away on 27th July 2008. Tetiba macam sedih, hence the posting.

back in the saddle

2008-11-18T14:17:00.005+08:00

Hello peeps, I'm back at my old job. After a 5-month sabbatical (well I actually worked for a couple of months at another company but let's not go there) I finally decided to go back to where I left. And the funny thing is, it was as if I never left at all!

For instance yesterday was my first at work. The receptionist handed me some mails that came in for me (I wondered how much mail she had to throw away during the 5 months I was gone) as soon as I came in the office.

Then, at mid morning someone from an exhibition company called me up to ask me a few things about the company. All this before I even signed my job acceptance letter.

And my e-mail address is still on the system, MIS never deleted my email address. Maybe they knew I was coming back to them :P

And The Diver is no longer The Diver. Well at least I think it's such a misnomer to call him that. He started his 9 to 5 yesterday too (what a freak coincidence that was!) at an oil & gas outfit in Damansara. He looked so cute in his office attire, though, because I only see him in his dive t-shirts almost all the time. It also gives me an excuse to go to Pavilion and shop for office clothes for him (Komar!!!! Here I come!!)....

It's kinda nice to be in that same old routine again, even my bowel movements have behaved normally.

But sadly no more late weeknights with the usual suspects.... (I may have spoken too soon on this!)

handbags for sale (part 2)

2008-11-11T11:09:00.004+08:00

I have two handbags up for grabs.

Coach Poppy Medium Hobo (RM159) - exact replica, a quintessential daytime bag. This one was a big craze when it was released in Spring 2006. VERY LIMITED.

Celine Red Sling Bag (RM250) - it has an optional sling, so you can either hand carry or use it as a sling bag. Quite roomy, perfect for office.

Those interested can either leave a message on this blog or SMS me at 013 218 5777.

makcik gemok

2008-10-22T15:33:00.003+08:00

56 bloody kgs.

That's what the scale showed when I stepped on it at Rina's house. Yes, at Rina's house right after whacking the hot cekodok, and before that D'Saji's yummylicious nasi minyak and other wedding dishes at Dewan Perdana. And the tapai ice-cream.. oh.. drool... ANYWAY....

Last year in October I weighed 48kgs. And last year I was miserable and working and worrying too hard for my own good.

I'm targeting to lose 3 kgs in a month. How I'm going to achieve that, I don't know but that's my target. Mana tau ada orang boleh buat aku makan hati lagi ke...

this is what happens after more than a month of menanam anggur...

2008-10-15T13:57:00.004+08:00

I haven't been cryptic in a while. It's been moons since I last posted something that can be deciphered differently by different readers. Well here goes...

Jealousy.

Damn I hate that word. But I sho' am a jealous person. I might not show it sebab aku perasan cool and will always laugh if off, or sleep it off, or eat it off, depending on the level of jealousness - but I am deep down a green-eyed monster. But dammit, aku takkan admit aku jealous so aku akan buat cranky or wolf down a tub of Ben & Jerry's.

Dulu, I went out with a guy whose work requires him to hang out among celebs, party all night, organize happening events and entertain those who need to be entertained. I was OK. Until one day my insecurity got the best of me, so I decided to end it.

Itu dulu.

Now I am so much more secure of myself. Heheh. Cheh. Well, now at least, if I found out my partner is cheating on me, I have learnt to say "Your loss, ingat aku tak boleh cari yang lain?" Instead of trying to jump off a building or crying my eyes out in bed.

The Diver has a lot of female friends, like, REALLY good looking female friends. Korang tengok la Facebook dia (don't bother if you're not on his FB friend list cuz his is only accessible and searchable to ones on his friend list je). Berlambak awek cun. Someone asked me once, "Kau tak jealous ke?" What is there to be jealous about la... I'm not jealous at all. Not jealous, but CAUTIOUS. Nampak tu...?? Perkataan in CAPS tu???

Well, I have a few guy friends too, and I hope The Diver is OK with that. Even a couple of ex bf's and maybe one who had a crush on me when I was single. But we're platonic friends. One rule that I sometimes use to emphasize the "platonicity" of a relationship is to use the "aku - engkau" pronoun when I converse with certain men. It's like a "dont mess with me" unwritten rule of conversation don't you think so?

Some people use terms of endearment like "Baby", "Honey", "Darling" to people they call friends. Which I sometimes am guilty of too, but now dah tak guna dah la because you know why la kan... Terms like that can be misconstrued as flirting. Especially those yang very the perasan la kan.

Damn. It's that time of the month la... so I don't really actually know what this posting is all about actually and The Diver is napping so aku bosan giler nih.

Hmm.. or maybe there is a meaning behind this greenish-hued posting? *evil grin*

untitled, because if i ever did give this posting a title it would be so foul that blogspot would ban this blog

2008-10-05T19:02:00.007+08:00

After three straight days of bingeing on Raya delicacies. I've sworn off the lemangs and the rendangs la.. Until.. until.. err.. I wanna say next Raya but I doubt it.Anyway, malas nak cerita pasal Raya lagi. I'm so over it. But having said that, The Diver and I had a swell Raya together, watching our tummies swell :P

I don't know whether I should blog about this, with this being the festive season and all. But I have to get it off my chest nonetheless.

You see, in my younger days, I went out with a few guys from this particular school which bus almost ran over my car earlier this year. It wasn't a conscious thing that I am always attracted to boys from this school (or is it vice versa?) - it was sheer ~~bad~~ luck I suppose. An evil trick from the powers that be, maybe.

And lo and behold, The Diver is also a graduate from the school. Crap.

I only found out he was from that school after I kinda liked him (tak ingat bila la...). And I thought to myself, oh bollocks, my girlfriends are gonna go "Oh no, not again... Kau ni balik balik budak M**K." Tapi apa boleh buat? Should I punish him from being a product of the establishment? Should I stop liking him just because he was the same batch as one of my ex boyfriends? Should he be my no fly zone?

Persetankan itu semua, I thought.

So I went out with The Diver. And we got serious. Anyhoo, before I started going out with The Diver, officially, I have on several occasions went out with a junior of his by one year. Let's just refer to this guy as Arsenio. Not that he looks like him. Honest. I termed it casual dating, because we went out a few times and then I received an SMS from him saying that he "is not looking into going in a relationship right now because he's concentrating on bringing up his kids and his kids won't be appreciative of a new person in his life". Not his exact words but something to that extent. So I was like, OK. I liked this Arsenio guy. And cool, I'm fine with that because we both were single parents taking care of our children on our own. I respected him for being such a responsible dad. And that was that.

When Arsenio found out that I was going out with the Diver he even Facebook messaged me to congratulate me on finally finding my soulmate. I was touched and thanked him for being so thoughtful. And again, that was that.

Until a few days before Raya when The Diver asked me a few funny question about me and Arsenio. Bear in mind that The Diver knew I was casually dating Arsenio prior to our relationship. So I got a little miffed. Turns out, someone from The Diver's batch actually YMed him, and giving misinformations about my "relationship" with Arsenio.

The Informer even divulged details of my Google talk conversations with Arsenio. Boleh tak ni? The Informer is concerned about my infidelity streak kononnya. Well he didnt actually say that but The Informed said he was concerned about The Diver going out with me. Concerned? I was perplexed.

First of all, I'm pissed that Arsenio even THOUGHT of divulging such information to The Informer. Hello??? Aku pun pernah keluar dengan orang lain dari sekolah kau tapi diorang tak pernah la nak disclose anything because let's just keep the past in the past. I even got quite serious with The Diver's batchmate dulu - I even met the guy's mom. Tapi when I broke up with him takde la pulak dia nak pi report to The Diver what happened between him and I in the past! I can't believe that Arsenio actually showed The Informer our online conversation (yang tak seberapa tu and you know la online conversations can always be misconstrued). Know what, if I was to go out with any other man it would have really jeopardized our relationship. Thank God The Diver is level-headed enough to understand.

People, if you ever break up with you partner, it is only decent that whatever that happened between you and him/her remain between just the both of you. Although takde la nak sign any confidentiality clause, it's basic dating etiquette. It's basic common sense.

What is actually the motive of Arsenio doing that I don't know. Apasal dia bitter sangat aku pun tak tau? Why do you want to jeopardize other people's relationship?

Second, after I went out with The Diver I never saw Arsenio. Ever. I have never cheated on The Diver. This is a classic case of double standards. If a guy is friends with a lot of girls he's a stud, if a girl does that she automatically becomes a slut. Even though she doesn't sleep with any of guys she goes out with. Apasal The Informer concerned sangat pasal aku ni aku pun tak tau. Macam cipet. Yang berlambak2 budak-budak sekolah kau yang girlfriend keliling pinggang kau tak concerned pulak? Kimaks.

Marah tau. Sangat marah. Dah lama tak marah macam ni.

I had some respect for Arsenio when I was friends with him. But now it's all gone down the drain.

happy eid everyone, wherever you guys are...

2008-09-28T13:35:00.009+08:00

Two more days of fasting and then we'll be celebrating Hari Raya.

My aunt from BP called me last night to order some last minute cookies and secretly I think, she was scared that I won't balik kampung this raya. So by ordering the cookies, I would feel obliged to come back home. She knows I'm not too happy with the fact that this is the first raya without my grandmother around. And I know I will be so emotional on first day of Raya.

Isn't it funny that when we were kids Raya used to be so happy and joyful and as we age there's just so many tears shed on Raya? (or maybe it's just me...)

Two more days. As usual, ada saja yang tak siap. I need to buy two more pants for Yunus, my youngest because I forgot to buy him any shorts/pants when I was in Bandung. Don't ask me why. And I need to buy Ali's baju melayu.. again, don't ask me why I haven't bought this for him. I blame it on the hamper-making and cookie-baking and the perpetually heavy KL traffic during Ramadhan. And I need to buy one dress for Medina, I bought her too many during my Bandung trip and her grandmother will probably buy a closetful already. But I just need to give her something so that she doesn't feel like I haven't bought her anything when I go back to BP. She's such a drama mama, much like her mama... She probably would've forgotten that she's the one who got the most goodies after I got back from my Bandung trip.

Anyway, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank The Diver for being showing his feminine streak this Ramadhan...Kemachoan yang hilang.. :P The Diver and Hana's brother helping out with my Hazelnut Suji.

The end product... These are really yummy (kes masuk bakul)...

The Diver helping out in the kitchen, preparing his Corned Beef Fried Rice for iftaar.
The Diver's nasi goreng -- siap shredded omelette lagi...

Zaza, I really wish you're here for Raya :( We miss you lots!

Happy Eid everyone, just in case I'm too busy to post anything the next two days.

the first time

2008-09-24T09:53:00.003+08:00

Last night, at one of our supper sessions with the Usual Suspects, The Diver proclaimed, "Well, today is the 24th of September and it marks the first year of us seeing each other face-to-face."

That's him, that's The Diver for you. He has a knack for remembering things like that, unlike yours truly. He will always start a sentence with, "Back in 1976..." or "In September 2003..."

And he will talk about things that happen in 1973 lah.. 1974 lah... and I'm thinking.. were you not only 8 years old when those things happen??? It baffles me. Sometimes it even crossed my mind that he might be The Highlander or something... Connor Mcleod ke laki aku ni? Semua cerita dia tau... as if he's lived for hundreds of years.

Back to our "one year anniversary". Yes, it was a year ago that we met face to face. Before that I always frequent his blog, sometimes crying at his tearjerker writing (macam Hindustan punya sedeyyy) sometimes laughing my ass off reading his hilarious posts. And MOST times I just feel like bitch-slapping him real good when he was really down and suicidal. Last Raya, when he decided to go to Perhentian and before that he had really sob story postings like how he buka puasa with leftovers la.. apa la.... I just felt like telling him, "Stop it will you!!! Get a grip!!! The world's not going to end if you break up with someone!!!" Well if that someone is Gisele Bundchen ke, worth it la jugak kalau nak bunuh diri. Know what I mean?

I was down in the dumps too at that time. A certain someone was convinced that he loved me with all his heart but honestly, I never thought he actually did have the balls to actually LOVE me. You know, like LOVE, in its purest sense...

But what I did to ignore the pain was channel my energy into other things... like GiftCafe, friends (our girls night out at Micasa), hanging out with GemGem and The Betch at Oswego and Las Carretas (and watching someone sing "I come from the land down under...", melayan mamat-mamat bodoh so that I can blog about their kebodohan (oh, that's so cruel) and my kebodohan as well...

Anyway, back to The Diver. I'm glad we were friends before. All this while until March 2008, I've always cared for him as a friend. I was always concerned about his health, his well-being. And subconsciously maybe I've loved him even from the start. Even from the day I read his "End of a Great Journey" posting. Maybe love should bloom from friendship after all.

Maybe it was just meant to be.

"and no, I don't dive, thank you very much..."

2008-09-17T22:47:00.007+08:00

Since a few months back, I've been dragged to a few divers meet / teh tarik / makan / farewell sessions by The Diver. That's the danger of being a non-diver when your hubby is supposedly the "legend" (ni bukan aku atau dia yang cakap tapi owner sebuah dive shop di KL. Nanti ada orang cakap laki aku berlagak la apa la...). You get dragged to all these events, which I don't mind really. And no, hubby gue tak mati lagi, walaupun ada orang panggil dia legend.

I really don't mind you know, socialising with them. They're a friendly bunch, and usually a mix of races which is super cool. And once I start diving (if I ever start diving) I'd probably know more about it theoretically than any other newbie. Dah berbakul-bakul cerita diving aku dengar. Tanya la ikan apa yang poisonous, macam mana orang bagi lobster mabuk pakai shampoo, dive site mana yang best, how deep is DEEP, what nitrox does to you, etc.. etc. I've heard too many of that. I'm also amused at their dive names - ada yang cute, funny, macam-macam nama dalam dive forum tu. I told The Diver tadi after buka, "Sayang, if I dive my dive name will be Octopussy..Boleh tak?" He was not amused. hehehe.. Saja.. aku suka bagi dia bengang with my bangang jokes.

So what do I talk about when they talk about diving? Takde apa la, aku angguk-angguk, senyum-senyum, give out my megawatt smile, laugh at their jokes (they're usually a hilarious bunch) and smile lovingly at The Diver when aku dah tak larat nak dengar cerita lagi dah.

Apa lagi? Masa Diver's meet, I just smile, nod, and jadi camwhore. Orang lain tak tengok camera aku sorang je tengok camera. Nasib baik la aku ni orang corp comm, pandai berlakon.

Am I gonna start diving? I told The Diver, if he wants me to start - he's got to provide me with everything - and no, I don't want the chokia wetsuit. Kalau ada Gucci ke, Prada ke, exact copy pun takpe. Sebab aku tengok sangat tak stylish itu wetsuits... The Diver cakap most Japanese divers pakai fancy ones, maybe I should get Zaza to check out wetsuits in Japan :P Lagi satu, booties yang diorang pakai tu.. Aduh... aku dah la stumpy, nak pakai macam tu lagi... adehhh... rasa macam merayap je la... It's very 80s. Kalau aku tinggi macam Spena takpela nak pakai booties macam tu. Ee.. sangat merayap....Lepas tu hari tu in Tioman masa tengok The Diver and Spena buat shore dive.. I was like.. OMG you actually have to carry the tanks all the way to the beach and into the water and before going in Spena was sweating bullets already. Lagi la masa dah habis dive, nak jalan balik to dive center, all wet and heavy... I don't see me doing that at all. I'm so lembik lah. How?

Aku boleh imagine aku menangis-nangis dan menghentak-hentak kaki sambil mengangkut tank tu balik ke dive centre.

Or maybe I should just stick to being a non-diver. Everytime ada diver punya gathering they will ask me, "So are you with SeaDemon?"

"Yes, and NO, I DON'T DIVE." Usually followed by "I shop!" - tapi ini selalunya inaudible lah. Dalam hati je.

One day Sayang, I will dive. One fine day.

a glass of Sirap Bandung Soda right now would be perfect...

2008-09-15T10:57:00.008+08:00

I know!!! This is bad!!! I'm unemployed and yet I haven't really been blogging except for the handbags entry. And ladies, hopefully I'll be getting more bags - this time a red Celine bag and a really nice gold Gucci one (if its still around lah...) Maybe I should fill in under my profession: Bag Hunter...

Puasa month has been brilliant so far, in spite of shuttling back and forth JB-KL. We're currently in JB right now until Wednesday (I think!). Our furniture is supposed to arrive tomorrow, that's the main reason why we're here. At least that the main reason why I am here - The Diver's got to meet a few people and organize some buka puasa thingy with this diver friends.

I had an amazing weekend - the first time ever berbuka puasa on the island. The Diver, Spena and Rina were at Tioman over the weekend. And it was just exhilarating to have buka puasa while watching the sunset, carressed by the cool evening breeze...

The Diver and I watching the Salang sunset, Tioman. Right before buka puasa.

In KL, our buka puasa's are usually with friends, either at home or outside. But most of the time at our place, K3J. Because we can eat and doze off at the sofat and wake up and eat again until 3 am. Very cyclical, like that. If not pun, right after buka we'll just meet each other for supper. It's been a very, very good Ramadhan.

At SS2's Murni. Excellent peasant Carbonara served here. Why do I say peasant? It's served in a friggin' orange plastic plate and served by a Mamak dude. And must try the Mee Raja pictured above (Spena's recommendation). My sister will be drooling right now. I know.

We had buka puasa at Genting the last Friday. Douglas' Steamboat Place. Nice.

We're getting sick of our "normal" profile pic pose already...I know, very spastic. Venue: Las Carretas, Ampang

Till then, have a nice Ramadhan everyone... whatever that's left of it. And if you guys still need gift baskets - we're still taking orders, browse our site at : www.giftcafe.com.my

Last Call for Bags!

2008-09-10T11:49:00.005+08:00

*SOLD*, finally

OK, last call for the bag, I've only one left...!!!

Chloe Eclipse Dark Brown Faux Crocodile Skin Shoulder Tote

THE perfect bag for working moms. Big enough to fit your laptop!
Selling price: RM ~~268~~ 200 - this is such a steal, so you people who are interested can text me at 013 218 5777

handbags for sale

2008-09-02T22:12:00.010+08:00

To all you bagophiles out there, I've got top quality, exact copies, original imitation designer bags for sale. Only one item per design. They're all brand spanking new, except for the Coach tote.

Chloe Gold Shoulder Tote Bag *SOLD*

A roomy shoulder tote that's perfect for the office. Understated casual elegance. Comes with an adjustable strap.
Selling Price: RM195

Chloe Eclipse Dark Brown Faux Crocodile Skin Shoulder Tote

THE perfect bag for working moms. Big enough to fit your laptop!
Selling price: RM 268

Louis Vuitton Vernis Heart Coin Purse in Bronze and Dark Brown *Bronze Coin Purse SOLD, I only have the Dark Brown one left*

An elegant but super cute Vernis patent monogram coin purse with an outer D-ring and charms (key, padlock and ID plate) that would match perfectly with an LV Vernis bag. I have a Neverfull PM and it goes well with that too! Comes with an exclusive LV gift box. A HOT favourite.
Selling Price: RM92

Coach Gold and Brown Shoulder Tote with Gold Sequin details *SOLD*
Large shoulder tote with brown and gold Coach C's. Gold sequin trimmings add a touch of elegance and class. Used once, but booklet and Coach card still in its pocket.
Selling Price: RM122

Please contact me via SMS or call at: 013 218 5777. I will be in KL from 4th to 12th of ~~August~~ I mean September, should you need to view the above.

Happy Ramadhan everyone!

p/s: Muchas gracias and a million kisses to my Diver for the beautiful pics.

welcoming ramadhan

2008-09-01T21:41:00.007+08:00

Briyani loaded with mutton curry, honey chicken, crispy bitter gourd and stir-fried okra. Heaven on earth.

The Diver's muka lapar. Cannot even muster a smile...

As I sit here on my new bed, I thank God for granting me my wish. The wish that I made on the first day of Ramadhan last year... It was a simple wish: To have a happier first day of Ramadhan this year. I didn't wish for a husband, or a boyfriend, or more money or being able to afford a pair of Manolos. I just wanted to be slightly happier.

And this year, He granted me that. It wasn't a happier first day of Ramadhan than last year, it was THE happiest first day of Ramadhan I ever had. I spent the whole day with The Diver shopping for our new home, not at the poshest of place but at Air Hitam. And for iftar, he fed me my first suap of rice.

The Diver feeding me my first suap of briyani... Wei, ni bukan gambar porno ok!!! Bulan puasa nih!!!

At the next table in the picture above, the guy in yellow was having iftar all alone - and when I stole a glance at him, tears were welling in his eyes and he kept on rubbing his eyes to keep the tears away. I think God put him there, lest I forget the sadness both The Diver and I went through last year.

Alhamdulillah.

the true meaning of merdeka

2008-08-29T23:38:00.005+08:00

Maybe it has become a trend. Every Merdeka, I am emancipated.

Last year's Merdeka, I got merdeka-ed alright. The big D took place on September 1st. And this year's Merdeka, after working on the company's Merdeka Ad (which I love!!!), I resigned. My last day will be on September 2nd.

Yes, I stayed on for only two months in this company. I think I've come to that age where I don't tolerate sh*t that I don't like anymore. When I'm younger I can take a lot of all that, but at this age, my happiness is more valuable than anything else. And now, at this moment, I finally understood the meaning of "Money isn't everything."

Don't ever do this at the dinner table...

Berry yang sangat jahanam. Do not ever agree if your boss gives you one of these...

The main reason why I quit my job was because I felt like I've sold my soul to the company. I was thinking about work 24/7, even when I'm not working. Even in my sleep. And as soon as I wake up in the morning the first thing I reached out for was my Berry. The Diver bore the brunt of this, our relationship was a bit strained... I get edgy most of the times and he became my punching bag. I couldn't risk ruining this relationship, so I decided it's time to call it quits. And as my boss always says "Rezeki ada di mana-mana". He says it with such conviction that it actually did motivate me to quit :p So any of you bosses out there, never say that to your staff unless you want them to leave la...

Our cool crib...

And this year, this Merdeka, we moved in our Nong Chik Retro Rumah, JB. We've officially moved, without the kids first. So there'll be a bit of shuttling in between JB and KL until maybe after Raya. I thank The Diver for picking such a perfect house for us. The house is soooo Mr and Mrs Seademon - quirky, old school, cool and besar.. Hahah....

What a difference a year makes.

leaving for tioman!

2008-08-20T16:47:00.006+08:00

After a month and a half of slaving and Berrying and Singapore/JB/KL meetings and going back and forth with the creative agency over a full stop and a comma, The Diver will be taking me to Tioman tonight.

This morning, in the car he was hypertensive (he had a bite of the Lamb last night) and I was just a plain bitch. But yes, it did annoy me when he started off the "Do you know..." series of questions.

"Do you know where the word 'carnival' come from?"

I get this quite often. And I really don't mind it you know. The Diver is such a smart guy, he's my very own private walking encyclopedia, dictionary, thesaurus, dipstick-survey volunteer, etc. I appreciate him for that. Very much. But this morning I kind of got a bit bitchy la about it. Well sometimes it's just demoralizing to be reminded that I don't know that much. Dahla kat office aku disurround oleh orang-orang yang semua nak menunjuk keterreran masing-masing.

"The word carnival came from the word 'carnivore'... You know, meat..."

Oh cool, I thought. I never knew that. That's so cool (in all honesty, ok). Then came another one...

"Do you know where the word 'launch' come from?"

Hmm. Letih. Too much general knowledge, too early in the morning. So I snapped. Tak yah la cerita how I snapped, but I snapped.

Anyway, to cut the long story short, I just want to make this public apology to The Diver for snapping at him this morning and spoiling this day and I really hope he'd be happy to drive me all the way to Mersing tonight. I'm SORRY. I do say sorry when I'm wrong, and am not ashamed to do it. Because God knows I can't stand being ignored in the car...

So before I go, I just wanna show you guys how much we've GROWN...

3 MONTHS BACK

I thought we still looked OK. Slightly overweight but still OK. And of course the two baduts at the back tu... so comel.

NOW

Bloated kan dua-dua ekor ni? This one was taken at Nikko's Benkay. Heheh...

how to make kacang pool

2008-08-17T18:28:00.003+08:00

The Rainmaker is oredy bored with my "nothing" posting so here's a little sumthin' sumthin' for him ....

How to make Kacang Pool Haji Demon (caution: will cause killer farts... according to the Demon himself)

I would have posted something with more substance but it's Sunday evening, a time where stress levels run high.

nothing

2008-08-04T13:39:00.002+08:00

It sometimes is sad that the people who love you most are the ones who can't seem to understand you.

I've had people say this to me before - "Why do you take your work so seriously? Why can't you say no? Why did you not do this, why do you have to do that? Why didn't you tell them that?"

Let me explain my situation, I am only a month old in this organisation. I am a single mother. I need the job like fish needs water. My youngest is sickly and pneumonia-prone, so the medical benefits that come with this job is heaven sent.

And thanks to a dead-beat ex, I never had the chance to save mounds of cash over my working years that would catch my fall.

I need to be a yes-woman. At least for now. I have yet to make my mark, I have yet to prove my mettle.

And I just expect some form of understanding from my loved ones. If you can't give emotional support, just please, please understand.

I can't afford any form of emotional burnout. As it is I'm experiencing some of the symptoms already - I often feel that I'm an outsider observing my mental process.

I am alone. I am the breadwinner. In spite of my weak exterior, I've always survived. Please don't let me fall this time.

the day my grandma died

2008-07-30T14:33:00.003+08:00

It was Sunday, 27th July 2008 - a little after 3 pm. And it was my younger brother and my auntie's birthday. I got a missed call from my mom - I was chopping onions for the spaghetti sauce when the phone rang and didn't pick it up. She then rang my brother who was sitting across the table.

I was working the celery when my brother came to me and said, "Mummy called. Maktok's gone."

And I went, "Oh. OK". The celery-chopping didn't stop. Now that's certainly not a Hollywood-movie response to the news of a death of a loved one. That's just me.

I'm the Queen of Delayed Telecast when it comes to emotions. Whenever I receive bad news, I will almost always have no reaction. And the worse the news is, the lesser reaction I will have. The day my grandfather died, I was fine as hell. At the funeral, I peeped when they were preparing the body for burial, that night I slept well. The next day I spent the whole day sobbing in my room.

Just as this incident, I actually finished making the potato salad and spaghetti before the trip back to BP. The Diver was nice enough to drive us back. In hindsight, it was a wise decision because I was really not in the state to drive at all.

Midway to Batu Pahat, I bawled my eyes out and told The Diver satu benda yang memalukan, "I slept with my grandma until I was twelve." There it was, my Delayed Emotional Telecast.

My grandma. She was a lot of things to me, a mother, a friend, a confidante, my masseuse (when she was stronger), the one who spoils me rotten. For someone her age, she's very very open-minded. I was afraid of breaking her heart when I got divorced. But instead she was the one who consoled me, "What's the use of you staying on with a man like that? You don't need to please everyone in life, you must always remember that," she said, while stroking my hair. I heaved many sighs of relief in her presence...

Her reaction was a stark contrast to my mom's.

I miss my grandma terribly. I didn't make it for the funeral. When I arrived, it was already over. I didn't get to see her for the last time, and bid that forever farewell. But I will remember the smile on her face when I visited her with The Diver late last month.

She knows how truly happy I am.

untitled (first entry with the Berry)

2008-07-25T20:17:00.001+08:00

I'm sitting down here on this lazy chair at this Chinese reflexology and acupuncture place in Ampang. No, I'm no getting reflexed or needle-poked. I'm waiting for The Diver getting kneaded and elbowed by this young Ah Moi who sounds like she just got off the boat from the Mainland.

The Ah Moi is quite strong, The Diver let out some ouches just now. Kesian jugak aku tengok Ah Moi ni, badan mamat tu dahla agak *ehem* oversized. Gosh, I so don't wanna be in her shoes. 5 minutes of elbowing him I'm already sweating bullets, man.
Anyway, it's Friday and I'm bloody happy. Cepatla habis massage Mr Diver, I can't wait to put my feet up and just chill!

Alamak, acupuncture la pulak... Kena pakai industrial strength needles ni.

waiting to exhale

2008-07-17T17:09:00.005+08:00

Deep breaths.

That's my mantra these days. This is only my second week here and my schedule can easily topple a GM's schedule at my former company. Back to back meetings, and lunch at my lovely little cubicle - most times it's the chicken rice. I'm addicted to that already.

As I type, I'm trying to take deep, long, breaths.....

I got this from meandmylife via email. My previous boss boleh la kot.. but my current boss... he's not jongos at all.. heheheeh.. Bos aku tak jongos kan, Deoughtred? My boss is the Energizer bunny multiplied by three.

Anyway, things are moving at a breakneck speed here. I don't know if I can cope with the rollercoaster of emotions, sometimes I'm on fire, other days I'm not. All I know is that by the time I get home, lying down in bed is just... heavenly. And yes, I do fall asleep in the middle of my conversations with The Diver. But anyway, these really made me laugh..

Deep breaths.

Back to work.

I hope these will make The Diver smile at least, because these days I don't have that effect on him anymore.

happy birthday, Diver-San!

2008-07-13T19:33:00.005+08:00

After feeling so guilty about that really pathetic birthday-cake-ice-cream celebration I decided to treat The Diver for a birthday dinner.

I was contemplating Tamarind Springs/Hill (for the romance factor) or Nikko's Benkay or at worse Nippon Tei - , ikut tekak sendiri cuz I was craving for Japanese. Being a weeknight I was sooooo knackered and dressing up for a romantic dinner was not big on my agenda. Plus The Diver is so no frills, he's such an AirAsia in real life. So he suggested we go to Onagi, a tiny Japanese place next to Hock Choon on Jln Ampang. Before it became Onagi, it was Muller's Sausage Haus. And apparently, according to The Diver, before Muller it was a Japanese place. Betul ke?

Anyway, it's such an undiscovered gem - the place has excellent Japanese food (better than Nippon Tei) and such an extensive menu. They had Okonomiyaki and Yakitori too! I mean for such a tiny place, it's awesome!
My fave sashimi - Red Tuna. This one is so fresh!

The Diver's must haves - Fried Kaki (Oysters). Crispy on the outside and really succulent on the inside.

Pictured below is The Diver's Salmon Butteryaki, a bit on the artery-clogging side but yummy nonetheless:

This is my beautiful Chicken Teriyaki. Lovely, lovely, lovely. And the Chawan Mushi was great too.

Now I don't feel so bad about the DIY Corned Beef Sandwich birthday celebration.. Heheh.. The Diver ranted and raved about how good the food was that night. And that's enough to make me happy.

happy birthday my sweet

2008-07-09T19:55:00.001+08:00

Today The Diver turns 42.

We celebrated at home last night at the strike of midnight with a few of our closest friends. And thanks to this new job, I did not have time to do anything special for him at all! We had DIY corned beef sandwiches and the birthday boy actually COOKED corned beef fried rice. I didn't even get him a birthday cake, so we took out the Hazelnut Ice Cream from the freezer, put a Ikea strawberry votive candle on it and sang him a very melancholic (ni Komar punya pasal la ni) birthday song.

To The Diver, I'm sorry Honey, but that's the best I can do last night. You mean a lot to me and I feel bad for not doing anything special for you. I will slave this weekend though. (masa barbecue nanti la.. don't get any funny ideas).

I love you babykins and I hope we share as many birthdays together as possible in future.

my third day in this building that looks like god-knows-what

2008-07-03T13:14:00.003+08:00

What is crappy about this godforsaken building that looks so high tech and New Age tapi sebenarnya tak:

1. They still have squat toilets (optional).

2. Parking is f*ck. Outdoor parking for me costs RM7 per day. Thank God it's claimable. No stilletto heels, walking on gravel ya.

3. The elevators are slow as hell. I don't know what kind of Ah Chong lift they use but it just is very damn slow lahhh.... I miss Vampire Tower.

4. The Food Court at Level 3 has the crappiest ventilation ever.

5. No hair saloons!!!! Cannot pedicure and manicure and get my hair done during office hours!!! HTF am I supposed to look good going to the office. Basket!!!

6. No Ampang Park :( Yes, that stupid little mall I frequent almost every day when I was working in my previous company.

7. The San Fran runs out of Carbonara sauce and Aglio Olio by 3 pm. Boleh?

Screw this place.

on being a commie (not the bintang tiga type)

2008-06-27T11:41:00.006+08:00

Two days ago, I left the company after working there for a good six and a half years. On my last day, an engineer colleague asked me, "I've always envied you being in Corporate Comm. Looks like fun. What does it take to be in your department ah?"

So I told him I'll blog about it. Lepas tu aku terpikir dia bukannya tau aku ada blog. Blog pun mungkin dia tak tau menatang apa agaknya. Dasar water engineer. Gi mampus la.

Anyway, DNAS once told me in one of our gatherings that the Corporate Comm girls at her office always get away with wearing outfits that do not qualify as proper office attire - big shades, trendy clothes, things that are out-of-this-world. And whenever I go shopping with Hana and ask her opinion about a certain type of dress or shirt, she'll go "Ala.. OK.. pakai je.. kau kan Corporate Comm".

In any organisation, the Corporate Communications Department will always be the outstanding one. People expect Comms people to be perky, carefree and sometimes a bit on the eccentric side. Skiving is also quite easy - lunch with media, hotel inspections, sourcing for corporate gifts at any shopping mall, meeting with ad agency, or simply "I just need some quiet time so that I can finish up this Chairman's Statement..." (and then go window shopping at KLCC) Heheh... Imagine you're in HR or Finance, it's very hard to find reasons to skive OK...

But Comms my friends, is not any easy department to be in. You're required to know bits of everything and trust me a Degree in Mass Communication will not prepare you for this. In fact, I don't even think you need to major in Mass Comm to be a good Comms practicioner. It takes years of experience to really master the art of being a good Comms person.

Being in this line requires you to know a lot of cheats. When you've mastered it, it's a breeze really. I've been in the Industry for almost a decade now, although 6 years a full-fledged Comms person, so here's what I've learned:

The left side of my desk, every morning will look like this...

READ ALMOST EVERYTHING

This is what I do every day, read ALMOST everything. My limitation is always time - so what I do is I just skim through and get the gist of each article. Dailies are a must - but you also need to keep up by reading Le Prestige or Tatler just so you don't address the who's who of society wrongly when you're hosting the next event. And of course, CNN.com... agak malu la kalau tak tau who's running for the American Presidential election kan... And you just have to be in the know of the latest intellectual topics just so you can be part of the intercourse (ha!!!! SD!!! nampak je intercourse .. terus!!).

HAVE AN EYE FOR DESIGN

No matter how macho you are, a Comms person should always know origami... My colleague demonstrating how to fold our jute bags that were to be given away to share holders during AGM.

In order to be a good Comms person you have to be a bit of David Tutera. OKlah, if not David Tutera, being like Komar is also good enough. Komar always know what looks best on who / what. Trust me, colour coordination really goes a long way from event organizing to AGMs to print publications.

HAVE STRONG HANDS AND PROPER WARDROBE

In other words, know how to carry yourself, a Commie can sometimes be the VIP at events, but most of the times, we're the balachis. So know how to carry yourself, be courteous and always be of help.

One minute you're in a masjid, hosting buka puasa for orphans... the next minute, you're at a golf tourney helping out with the very heavy gifts during an unnecessary half-hour prize giving ceremony.

Strong hands... (bukan I yang cakap ni... someone's dad actually told me I have strong hands...tee hee...)

WRITE AND KNOW THE LINGO

A Comms person MUST know how to write. There are no two ways about this. Even if you're good in event management, or have an eye for design and detail, you can't call yourself a true Corporate Comms person if you don't know how to write a media release. It would be a boost if you can do your own copywriting as well. When I first started, I couldn't even differentiate Revenue and Profits (oi, I majored in International Relations and never took any business or marketing classes OK). Now I can basically talk about most of the things in the Financial Highlights section in the Annual Report.

Let's face it, if we're good at Math, we won't be in Corporate Comm la kan. So throw in a few of the financial jargons over lunch among your mates, and you'll get the respect you deserve.

SMILE AND BULLSHIT, WITH CONFIDENCE

Whatever it is, SMILE. In any crisis, smile first before you fix anything. A comms person must always smile. Look at IT people (the ones in the company that I just left at least), when they fix things, they look so stressed out and they just emanate negative vibes. Programmers, SAP consultants, what-have-you... they look like they have something up their asses (I'm so going to get it from DNAS, but DNAS, you're an exception)

At a conference we organized, the laptop was taking forever to start.. blank screen, and the Mat Salleh was suppose to present in like 5 minutes. But still, smiles all around. If the Comms person stop smiling, everyone will stop smiling.

Another tip: I've always hated public speaking, so anytime someone wants me to Emcee an event I'll cringe. I'll freeze. I'll do anything to get away from that. So one day when I was asked to Emcee, I decided to smile. Try it! Your voice will sound more soothing (attractive to the opposite sex LOL) and audible, and you will feel much, much more relaxed.

BE READY TO FLUFF

I like to call us "fluffers". If you don't know what time means, Google it up and I guarantee you Wikipedia has the answers. Before any event such as AGMs, launches, PCs... you're supposed to make small talk with the bosses, make sure they're at ease.. make sure they're in a happy zone, etc

Fluffing up the Chairman... the one at the back is our male fluffer...

Ha.. look ah.. fluffer mesti in any picture ada enter frame juga.... The guy on the left needs a really good fluffing...

In a nutshell, I'd say a Comms person is very much a Jack/Jill of all trades. Does that make us lesser beings? HELL NO. We're blessed with the ability to cross-departmentalize, understand people better and fathom all the goings-on in an organization from the lowest rung up to the top echelons. And oh, we can wear anything we want!!!

i don't have anything important to blog about, but it's not as boring as a certain someone's blog

2008-06-21T17:35:00.009+08:00

When i had longer hair, at Concorde's Hari Raya do. (heavy sigh) I wish I had hair like ZZ's though...

Unruly pun takpe, asalkan long hair...

I really miss my long hair. I had this hair the first time I went out with The Diver, in March 2008. Then a month after that, I cut it short.

Ini semua gara-gara mendengar cakap si Eddie bapok at my second saloon. Posh Spice kepala hangguk dia. Kalau tak blow rambut, rambut aku jadi macam bontot itek kau tau tak Nyah?? Kau saja nak kenakan aku Eddie, kau saja nak suruh aku tiap-tiap hari blow rambut kat kedai kau so that kau boleh cukup duit nak gi vacation to Jakarta ngan boyfriend Arab kau tu. Siut kau Eddie.

Kalau aku baru bangun tidur, lagi horror. Sometimes after looking in the bathroom mirror I wonder how The Diver always maintain a straight face when he sees me with my morning hair. Pandai betul berlakon mamat tu. I would have cringed in disgust if I were him.

So jadinya, my hair now...

Eddie, kau dah buat rambut aku macam nyonya jual sayur... (well plus I've gained 4 kgs than the long hair pictures above lah...)

Any tips to hasten hair growth???

the gas i passed

2008-06-16T08:47:00.001+08:00

I was sound asleep last night and suddenly I heard a whisper,

"Sayang, you farted."

I was too sleepy right there and then, so all I could muster was, "When?" and went back to sleep.

He didn't reply. Instead, he lovingly tucked the edges of my comforter. As I curl myself and snuggled up against him, I thought - this is the man who talks AND blogs religiously about the hows, whens, whys and whats of crapping, this is the Ultimate Master of Crapology and Shitonomics -and he can wake me up in the middle of the night to tell me that I farted? Cheh! Double standards! It was only a FART for Pete's sake.

And so I woke up the next morning, and went to the bathroom. And naturally, let out some air before I entered the shower. HOLY MACKEREL! &*%%*$#@!!!! The odour was... oh God, putrid was an understatement. Quite honestly, I've never let out anything so vile. It smelled as if a skunk walked up my arse, died and was left there to rot for three days.

I slapped my forehead and thought... "Holy sh*t. No wonder he woke me up! If this was the smell I let out last nite... oh god.. how can I ever face him again??? OH no oh no oh no oh no ohhhh nooooo..."

Why the outrageous odour you ask? Well I was constipated since two days ago, so yesterday I took two laxative tablets during the day (directions say that you're supposed to take them at night before bed). So I suppose the laxative stayed too long in my tummy that it help accelerate and accumulate poisonous gases kot? I don't really know but that's what I think happened... The smell of my fart was so unnatural that I had to look in the mirror to actually know that it was me who farted in the bathroom. Moral of the story: Please read AND follow directions when taking laxatives.

I stood there in the bathroom after the shower, not wanting to face him ever again. Maybe I should break up with him, I thought. See, I was begitu embarassed sekali with last night's faux pas. In the end I braced myself, and went for breakfast with him, as normal. Spoke about last nite's incident casually, he even threw in an Indian "Big Chief, No Shit" joke. It all went well. I suppose if we were to live the rest of our lives together, there'd be more moments like this.

And oh, remember I wrote that he tucked the edges of my comforter in after I farted? It was not the normal tucking-you-in-before-bed thing ok. He told me the smell was so rancid that he had to ensure that I was really kedap udara so that none of my gases would seep out to his side of the bed.

But the clincher was at 9.45 am at work, I received this SMS from him:

"I tetap sayangkan you walaupun kentot you membunuh 1000 orang dengan hanya satu das."

If that ain't love, I don't know what else is.

i confess

2008-06-12T23:22:00.001+08:00

My YM conversation with The Diver earlier this evening:

John SeaDemon: u've always done well writing about your feelings...u have always written as if u r strong...putting up that facade...but there has never been an emotional entry
jasmeenz: i cant write la
jasmeenz: i cant write like you
jasmeenz: i cant write half as good as you
John SeaDemon: u can
John SeaDemon: one of the reasons i was afraid to approach u, or didn't believe u when u proposed to me was bcos of the way u portrayed yourself...strong, gutsy etc
jasmeenz: i know
jasmeenz: and im not strong
jasmeenz: once you get to know the real me
John SeaDemon: i know
John SeaDemon: totally different to the person i thought i knew

I watched him while he was napping this afternoon. And it suddenly struck me. I am completely in love with this person. Then, at that moment, it just hit me like a rock. I love this person, with every fibre of my being.

This is me. The real me. It takes time for me to fall in love, like, completely fall for someone. But once I do, I'm floored. I'm done. I'm as good as gone.

When I fall in love, I give my all. Completely, my love knows no bounds, it's limitless. And today I just realized that this relationship has gone to that level.

Then it all starts pouring in - the concerns, the worries, the need to understand, the need to sacrifice. So when he woke up and we hugged, I can't help but cry. He looked perplexed. I don't think he understood the lachrymose me. It's not just about us having to be apart every day, and him having to divide his time between where he stays and where I am. It's about the bigger picture.

I'll be moving to JB end of the year. My new job starts in July. I will be at Menara TM before the exodus to JB, and there's no exact date yet for that. Eventually, he will be moving to JB. At least, that's what we planned for. The big move down south and a year-end wedding, God willing.

The thought of him being away from his kids to be with me kills me. It does. How can I sleep at night knowing that I am the person who's responsible for separating him and his kids? Even now, everytime he's with me I'll start thinking about when he's going to go home to his kids. It's at the back of my mind. All the time. I have that guilt. All the time. But at the same my heart bleeds, everytime we're apart.

Yes, this is me. I'm not strong, I'm hopeless. I overanalyze. I wallow in guilt. And I love him.

in love again (or why I finally said yes to scuba diving)

2008-06-09T10:09:00.001+08:00

It's Monday morning. Half of the office is scrambling to make copies and last minute changes to the board papers for this morning's special BOD meeting. As for me, I'm here updating this blog while skimming through Kam Raslan's column in The Edge. Yup, I'm doing nothing. I have two more weeks in this company, so nothing is the thing that I should be doing right now. I better get on with the Perhentian Trip update. I know, I've been slacking.

I haven't been on a vacation in 7 years. Throughout the 7 years, vacation meant going back to my then in-laws in Alor Setar/Sg Petani and whack Nasi Kandar. Or going back to BP/JB and whack Asam Pedas and Briani Gam. Or dropping by Penang to visit my SIL. My last real vacation was with my sister and her friend in Tioman before I was married. And oh, the honeymoon at Langkawi's Tanjung Rhu Resort.

We had this Perhentian trip planned over someone's drunken stupor :P (not me, ah) two months back I think. And I'm glad it materialized - I suppose GemGem threatening to whoop the asses of those who will chicken out of this trip really worked.

The stunning view from our chalet...

Betch President mengamuk after my coup attempt.

My Snorkel Master.. hahahahaha...a.k.a. The Sea Cowboy

We left for Perhentian on Thursday 29th May and came back on Sunday nite. It was one of the best vacations in my living memory. It did help that the trip was with The Diver and friends that I've known since forever. We stayed at this nice little place called New Cocohut, the normal rooms are a bit crap (we stayed in one of those for a night because chalets were full) but the Seaview Chalet is much much better and worth the money. Gombak4Life and LiverBabe did their Discovery Scuba, Rina taught me how to put on a snorkel mask, I taught her that spit helps to keep your mask fog-free. Good eh, for someone who's never snorkelled before.

LiverBabe enjoyed her Discovery Scuba so much that she kept on mentioning to me HOW BEAUOOOTIFOOOLL it is to experience the joy of diving, the magic of the underwater world etc etc... 10 million gazillion times, I think she must have forgotten that I'm going out with a diving legend (or so, they say). Sebab mulut bising dia tu lah, The Diver proclaimed during one of the makan sessions in Perhentian, "She (Read: Me!!!) is going to take up diving as well..."

And that statement came out of nowhere. See, during the first few weeks of our relationship, both The Diver and I agreed that we were not going to share the same interests, and that he will not persuade me into taking up scuba-diving just because that's his passion. Cis. Tipu je semua tu.

The only valid excuse that he uses now is: "If we're on a trip together, what are you going to do when I dive?" And since we're planning for a Sipadan honeymoon, it got me thinking. But then there's always books to read, food to eat, Internet to surf, hotbods to ogle, beaches to stroll (ada ke?).

Pasal korang la aku kena ambik open water ni...

Last week he took me to the dive shop at Sri Hartamas, just to inquire about the open water course and maybe to get me comfortable with the whole thing. Remember, I never said I will do the open water course, I never said yes but he ASSUMED that my silence meant that I agreed. So there I was in the dive shop, and I saw some LOVELY pink fins and some really really really cool Dive Junkie t-shirts... Hmmm... And some cool dry packs/bags and other dive paraphernalia that are quite fashionable. And when I saw The Diver in his wetsuit at Perhentian, it DID make him look much slimmer. So instead of doing my usual shopping at shopping malls, maybe I can switch to dive shops... So technically, I only made up my mind that I will do the open water course only after the trip to the dive shop.. hahahah.. Can you believe that? Not even a diver boyfriend, or a trip to Perhentian can convince me that I should take up diving. But one trip to the dive shop and I'm in, man!!! I mean... I would love to wear those Dive Junkie t-shirts... but I can't be wearing it if I don't dive, kan? I'm no poser, OK.

Big-ass digression up there. This was supposed to be a Perhentian update, kan.

Well anyway, the Perhentian trip was just brilliant. Had a lot of food stops, and berak stops - because all the other passengers in the Naza Ria except for me have excellent metabolism and crap every few hours. And oh, my baby's Naza Ria is definitely more ganas than GemGem's Beemer (7 series ok). I didn't have my camera with me, so the pics are all taken from LiverBabe and The Diver's Facebook album.

I don't think anyone's seen us this happy. Not in a long time.

And this was the sunset that we shared, The Diver and I. It felt like falling in love all over again.

Shoot, they're still milking me for what I'm worth here. The CFO just said Hi and wants a media release out by 3 pm. Cipet.

can't wait!

2008-05-29T17:41:00.006+08:00

Tonite I'll be leaving for Perhentian with The Diver and a bunch of buddies.

Sunblock, check.
New VB capri jeans, check.
Swimsuits, check. (Notice the plural)
Extra pairs of contacts, check.
Munchies for a 5-hour drive, check.
Clarinase, Eno ginger, check.
Paracetamol, antacids, minyak angin, errr.. takde... (maybe I should skip this since The Diver is a walking pharmacy)

I haven't packed, really. Heheh.

See y'all next week.

strictly for my girlfriends and cross-dressers

2008-05-27T16:34:00.001+08:00

My sister is right. Let's not write about politics. Our country is in such a sorry state and it's just so.. soo.... depressing.... It's Tuesday and I just feel like Paris-Hiltoning my blog a little...Yes, Gombak4life, this is how you Paris Hilton your blog... Yes, GemGem, I mentioned Paris Hilton...but unfortunately there will be no nude pics of her here okay. Sorry to dissapoint.

I've always been a sucker for new cosmetic products. And I will only use about 60% of the things that I buy, while the rest will remain in my drawer, waiting to be donated to either my mom's maid, my bibik or my cousin or even my mom, who will visit every now and then and ask, "Ada lipstick tak?" Then she will just pocket one or two in her handbag.

So because I'm bored at the office, let me indulge you in a few of my recent cosmetic purchases, some crappy and some reallyyy cool. Although since going out with The Diver I've very much reduced my retail therapy sessions. Good or bad ah?

So girls, here are a few things that I've recently discovered...

MAC's Sculpt and Shape Powder - Ayu and I tried this out at KLCC's MAC. It's quite easy to apply (although I had to SMS her to ask which shade goes where the first time I wanted to apply it.. heheh) and will actually contour and highlight your face. This means it creates an illusion of a sharper nose and smaller face. Godsend. Cuma aku je yang malas pakai because I think I need a professional brush for this, and not the brushes that I have now. Heheh. Ada je reason.

Bobbi Brown's Pot Rouge for Lips and Cheeks - Must buy! Must buy! This one costs RM90 but well worth it. I got the one in Calypso Coral. I love this so much I'm gonna get another one, or two in fact. Its creamy texture blends so well with my skin and it just gives out that radiant afterglow that's oh so natural. It helps a lot because without makeup I'm pale as a corpse. I don't complain much about my complexion though because I can just go makeup-less and people would think that I'm sick and I can go home and rest. Or get fake MC.

M by Mariah Carey eau de parfum - Love this! It's very very mysteriously sensual... and initially it might smell a bit too Mak Datinish, but give it a few seconds then you'll be able to smell the layers of gardenia, moroccan amber and vanilla i think... I just wanted a change from my usual Eternity Moment and Ralph Lauren Romance. The first time I sprayed this on I asked The Diver to guess what's the perfume name.. so I hinted, "It's a female singer... can you guess whose perfume?" He took a whiff of it from my wrist.. and went... "SHARIFAH AINI!!!" Cipan betul. But in a way he's quite right la.. both have big boobies. Heheh.

Anyway, I was walking around Pavilion a few weeks back, and you know they have this tiny Paris Hilton store there kan... it's shameless, but I'm so dying to buy one of the clutch bags sold there... Full of bling and glizt and I just feel like I should vamp up my handbag collection a little. Although I do have a crimson red Celine handbag that's still lying in the closet, I thought it's a tad bit too flashy. Mr Diver.. I am dropping a not-so-subtle hint, next time I go Pavilion it's definitely not for the donuts ok..

Short term shopping objective (read: next week after I come back from Perhentian or maybe.. err.. tomorrow?): black and white, striped Rockin' Reptile pumps from Parkson at the Pavilion. Rainmaker.... wait for my call ya.... After that we go makan at Nirwana Maju... peria goreng!

Hmm.. I feel much better writing this than a post on Noraini Ahmad.

what we did on a 3-day weekend

2008-05-20T22:37:00.001+08:00

This entry lacks substance. I just wanted to kill time. Killing other things would just be... too messy.

Thank God for Buddhists, yesterday was a holiday.

I'm kinda unsure about this three-day weekend deals.. yeah it's nice to have a public holiday on either a Friday or a Monday... But it's definitely bad for my body (ie. pigging out sessions) and also mental health.

Why do I say mental health? That's because three day weekends are so wonderful that on the third day, it's like losing someone you love. You just can't let go on the third day, knowing that the next day you'll have to be up early to be in the office. So on the evening of the third day I will be the nastiest of all creatures, mood-wise. And whoever that's closest to me will bear the brunt la.. in this case, The Diver.

Oh well, since this is a substance-less entry, let's get it on with the things I did over the three day weekend...

On Saturday nite we had a pot luck supper at Aiz's cool place, Lima Puluh Satu or limapuluhsatu (mana satu ni Aiz?). Didn't know that it's also a birthday do for Aiz, whose birthday is on Thursday 22nd May. Happy Birthday, KAKAK!!!!

No one else will be able to match this... tiny cake, but cut with such drama....

On Sunday afternoon, while I was lounging with The Diver, had a chat with Gemgem on YM over where to go for food.. I told him The Diver and I are going to Raju's, then Gemgem said why don't we go to Ipoh. Ipoh, boleh? There was a moment where JB was also mentioned... but it was already 2 pm then... we'd thought it's a tad bit too late. Finally after a few minutes of our YM discussion, Gemgem said he'll treat us to seafood dinner at Unique Seafood, PJ. Yeay!

Drooling... drooling...

Kam Heong Alaskan Spider Crab... made us kam...

I can GUARANTEE you oysters are not aphrodisiacs... (kenapakah aku sangat bitter?)

We had other dishes, grouper fish, alaskan crab cooked in butter and cream, asparagus... but i'm too lazy to steal the pics from The Diver's Facebook. After that seafood dinner we adjourned to K3J for our little soiree of chitchats and post dinner happy drinks.

Since we missed Raju's on Sunday, and everyone knows a banana-leaf craving MUST be fulfilled, or you will be permanently thinking about it every second of the day, The Diver took me to Raju's. Freshly fried roe, fried squid rings with crispy onion slices, fried ikan kerisi....... and mango lassi to top it all off. The curry doesn't taste the same anymore, something lacking... I prefer Nirwana Maju's curry better. But of course, it was a lovely lunch nonetheless because it was with my Diver... (barf Aiz, barf!)

SD, we need to go there this weekend.

By the way, my food pics (except of the prawns) are all The Diver's. So if we breakup nampaknya semua gambar2 ni akan diambil semula, or he might sue me over some copyright infringement shit. Please pray that we don't.

OK done, I'm gonna take a shower and check out my new flabs...

the only good pink thing right now is sirap bandung

2008-05-13T21:20:00.001+08:00

"Siti rasa bangga la setelah menang dalam pilihanraya...yang lain-lain tu biarlah rahsia..." Yes, she and Siti probably possess the same IQ level.

I am going to bertanding in the next General Election.

I just need to add more blond streaks, join Puteri UMNO (I might be over the age limit, can someone check? tapi kalau gi botox sikit mesti boleh tukar umur), lose another 4 kgs, screw one or two Datuks, bat my false eyelashes at KJ, get a boob job (yes SD, this is the reason WHYYYY) and say this during my campaign:

"Assalamualaikum, nama saya Datuk so-and-so, undilah Barisan Nasional. BYEEE!!!!"

Makcik in green: "Did she ever finish high school?"

Because in a freaking nutshell, that was what Noraini Ahmad, Ketua Bimbo Pink Kaler, could muster in her campaign speeches in the last General Election. My sister, Zaza, who was back from Japan for her break had the privilege to see Noraini make a fool out of herself in March.

That was all Noraini could say. Vote for me, vote BN. Itu pun orang tak dengar, because my sister said suara dia macam semut.

I'm a very forgiving person. If you're an idiot, you can make up for it in a lot of ways. Trust me ok, I'm not that smart but I have a lot of defence mechanisms that I use in the office, some people think I'm a genius.

Guy in red baju melayu: "Oh boy, all my years of hard work serving the community and here I am standing next to this loser in pink yang tak pernah balik kampung. What an insult."

Ms Noraini, maybe you can brush up on your people skills for a start. I was there when the election results were announced for her constituency, Parit Sulong. Everyone was all edgy, knowing that the Opposition was making headway in certain states. Oh yeah she was edgy too, edgy and on the phone and SMSing and so oblivious of the fact that SHE is one of the electoral candidates. Kampungfolks were looking at her, her scrawny figure in baju kurung, tudung-clad, porcelain complexion. She was all pretty-pretty and so not ready to become the MP for Parit Sulong.

When the results were announced, BN supporters cheered, everyone in the school hall hugged each other, patted each other's backs, some shed tears. My mother personally thanked everyone who helped with the campaigning -for their time, support, blood, sweat and tears. But Ms Noraini was just there shaking hands, lending out a fake-ass smile. I just looked at her in disbelief. Not a word of thanks to her supporters. This here, is the Puteri UMNO President, behaving like an imbecile. She absolutely has no people skills, no sense of etiquette and .... basically she has no common sense at all.

And lo and behold, Pak Lah made her Deputy Minister of Human Resources. Like, hello????? Aku rasa lagi baik letak Paris Hilton. At least she pretends to act more stupid than she actually is, and make tons of dough out of that.

Thank god I'm not the only one who thinks Noraini's an idiot. A better read would be here.

And Noraini also said this in his speech during last year's UMNO General Assembly:

"Justeru, suka Puteri menyarankan supaya diwujudkan garis panduan lebih jelas mengenai apa yang boleh dan tidak boleh disiarkan menerusi laman web serta laman blog dengan satu peraturan ditetapkan mengenai tindakan tegas yang boleh diambil jika melanggar peraturan berkenaan."

WHAT THE....???

And if you read the whole text of the speech, she was taking every simplistic solution to every issue there is in this country. Kids go missing, blame the parents. Use every act there is on the face of the earth ISA, OSA, apekebendanya act entah to combat rumor-mongering. Stop TV stations from promoting reality TV shows that ask viewers to SMS - that is unethical. That's Noraini in a nutshell for you.

Well my take on all this is: SCRAP THE WHOLE PUTERI UMNO THINGY. If we do not have enough intelligent women to be in this organisation, why waste the effort, time and money.

Will Puteri UMNO just close shop already!

get a barf bag ready

2008-05-11T22:06:00.002+08:00

It's Sunday night. Always a sobering moment.

Let me tell you a story about The Diver and I. Cuz I do hear things on the grapevine about our relationship, and some people who read my blog that find it outrageous that I'm dating him. Such deviltry, according to some. Why? Because The Diver used to date an online friend of mine.

So let's explore this unwritten rule that you shouldn't date your friend's ex.

The Diver broke up with his ex girlfriend in December 2007. Oh no, not a breakup. He was dumped, in a rather ugly way, but that's just my own humble opinion. His ex, who is my online friend, The Diver and I became friends sometime in September. And we first met at a buka puasa do at my place last year.

The Diver and I have always been platonic friends. Even after his breakup. The only times we were in contact was casual Hi's through YM, a teh tarik session and a lunch with a mutual friend. That's about it.

And he'd drop comments on this blog, most of the times teasing about the stupid crush I had on his dad. Crush, people, bukan infatuation ke apa ke ok.

There was never an iota of attraction - physical or emotional between him and I. When he was down in the dumps after the breakup, I was not even there for him. Well occassionally we'd say hi on YM and he'd tell me how he felt, and I'll just go .. "oh... hang in there, things are gonna get better". That's about it.

I wanted to reach out, but I didnt. God knows how bad I wanted to reach out because of the sorry state that he was in. Reason number one, I had my own set of demons to deal with. Reason number two, I don't want to be there for my friend's ex. I'm a single mother - I get shit all the time. I didn't want to be that woman who offers a shoulder to cry on to someone that is in such a vulnerable state. Because whatever happens after that, I'll be the bitch that's the talk of the town.

It went on that way... until I hosted Burger Nite in early March, 11th of March if I'm not mistaken. It was the first time that we'd met since November 2007.

It was funny. The moment I saw him, I felt so happy. So relieved that he was still smiling, after his devastating breakdowns end of 2007. And throughout the night, we were so comfortable with each other. The comfort level between both of us were just, amazing. Amazing - for lack of a better word. I didn't even noticed that we both were so at ease with each other.

Three days later, we went out on a date. And the rest, they say, is history.

So, NO, betches, I didn't steal The Diver from my online friend. He broke up in December, we went out in March. So, mamat ni dah habis eddah OK.

And no, it's not weird going out with a friend's Ex. If the friend is not a best friend (like an online friend), I think it would be OK. I wouldn't recommend going out with your best friend's Ex though. Now that can be quite.... EERIE.

I'm not justifying this to anyone. I just needed something sensational to write about. And The Diver can't call me chicken anymore after this.

SeaDemon, you are Chicken.

ini blog makan (and i mean it)

2008-05-07T20:20:00.002+08:00

So as Nor suggested, I should put up an entry with this title... I've planned on this entry since yesterday but of course didn't have time...

Four days of no-work is bad.

Having friends who love to eat is bad.

Having the habit of SMS-ing them "Watcha up to tonite (or Watper beb - in jockspeak)? Want to come over for dinner?" is bad.

Going out with someone who will always satiate your food craving no matter how crazy it is, is bad.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls... I present you.... 4 days of non-stop bingeing...

Thursday 1 May 2008

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri on Labour Day

Making up for last Raya...

I had a crappy Raya last year, and so did The Diver. The Diver's Raya was crappier I suppose, since he spent it gatecrashing people's house for Raya meals. At least I get to eat my Briani Gam. So when we were at The Mall we spotted this ketupat stall that had all types of ketupat (ketupat beras, daun palas with and without the kacang, and lemang) there was an instant silent consensus in our greedy brains that we should have a Ketupat Nite... So we did!

Rendang Limpa or Spleen Rendang - somehow the English translation is off-putting...

Rendang Daging, oh so yummy

Photographer looks damn garang, man...

Finito.. empty glasses... kenyang face...

Friday 2 May 2008

Day-Trippin' 320 KM for Ikan Bakar

The Diver cum Driver

The Happy Passengers.. whoop dee doooo

The Chilli Crab and Black Pepper Crab

This is gluttony at its ultimate. The Diver, Gemgem, Dalie, Renek and I went on a food trip to JB - Tip Top Ikan Bakar at Tepian Tebrau. We were supposed to leave KL at 2 pm but due to foreseen circumstances (memang dah boleh foresee punya) we left at about 4.30 pm after two food stops - one at Haji Samuri Sate and the other at McDonalds. We had ikan pari bakar, kerang bakar, sotong goreng tepung, black pepper crabs, chilli crabs, lala, fried char koi, sotong kangkong... and the one and only... Ice Jelly (my favourite dessert since 1985).

The Ice Jelly - sea coconut, soursop, maraschino cherry, fruit cocktail, calamansi, shaved ice on a base of translucent jelly... Heaven on earth!

After dinner, we had drinks at Hyatt, because that's the closest place we can drive to - because we were all like beached whales so cannot la drive so far... Watched a crappy live band whose keyboardist/guitarist looked like Temenggung Jugah. Left JB at around 1 am and arrived in KL in the wee hours of the morning, just in time for breakfast... :P

Saturday 3 May 2008

Sushi Nite Encore

I was doing a bit of can-arranging in my kitchen and saw a tiny can of wasabi powder, half a bottle of already mixed Jap vinegar, some nori sheets (a bit masuk angin, but still delish ok..), and half a pack of Calrose rice. So I told our Sushi Guru, Spena to drop by and roll it up a bit... She needed a break from her apartment-painting anyways... Besides lip-smacking sushi we also had Pecal (with gravy straight from Bandung mind you), Corned Beef Fried Rice, Chicken, Salmon and Dory Teriyaki. Yum. Yeah, the Pecal macam tak jive sangat la but what the hey...

Corned Beef Fried Rice, The Diver's Specialty

Pecal, with gravy all the way from Bandung

Salmon, Dory and Chicken Teriyaki

Sunday 4 May 2008
Little Penang Kafe @ The Curve, revisited

Spooning at Little Penang

The delectable Rojak

Last year in November, The Diver, Spena and I had lunch here. The gathering of the depressed I think it was called. Hahah. So on Sunday we had our little lunch there, at the same little cafe, where we had lunch as forlorn friends about 6 months back... Also, when I was 4 kgs slimmer.. :P

Curry Laksa... oh yummmm

The Diver had Curry Laksa, which was sooooo good and not too cloyingly lemak. And I get to wallop his prawns... I had Rojak which was equally good. Both of us had Otak Otak after that... those were just OK, I still prefer the Thai ones at my office food court's. But anyway, it was a lovely lunch and of course, the loveliest company a girl could ever ask for (Ayu and Aiz are barfing blood right at this very moment but what the hey...)

And yes, we're planning another Sushi Nite on Saturday and it's Yunus' Birthday Bash as well... when will this ever end...

ini bukan blog jiwang

2008-04-30T11:18:00.001+08:00

... so I have to put up another posting as soon as I possibly could *blush*

OK, OK, OK, now, tell me...

How am I supposed to reply when this guy that I know, Facebook-messaged me: "Watper beb?"

If I was younger, I would've brushed off the sheer lack of finesse and replied, "Hey you, I'm good. Wanna go out for drinks later?" Because this guy is a hunk yang sangat lah delish. Don't even get me started on how he looks because this entry will end up as a porn entry if I do.

But, HELL NO! Not now baby. In fact, come to think of it, even if I was in college I wouldn't have even entertained those kinda greetings. High school, maybe.

I feel so insulted. Hoi jock, I am a freaking Notre Dame graduate in International Relations (minoring in Art History and Theology) with two semesters on the Dean's List (let's just not mention to the Probation status ok, because I can plead temporary insanity to all of that). And this guy KNOWS all that. How dare you watper-beb me????!!! How dare you?

Ye lah, I might not have a political blog or one that discuss serious global issues, but my daily read are the Financial Daily and Malaysian Reserve. I recite Kahlil Gibran out loud when I'm down and read Neruda's poems when I'm alone in bed. And no, I don't read Mangga or URTV, or become a fan club member of some budak hingusan Akademi Fantasia unlike someone's bimbo wife.

And can you believe it, the guy who actually did the watper-beb is actually MY AGE, and of course a US grad. Maybe he watched too much Beavis & Butthead and came back and befriended a bunch of Keramat Mat Rempits. Cuz he sure acts like a hybrid of those two things. Hey, I adored Beavis & Butthead okay - "I am the Great Cornholio! I need teepee for my bunghole!!!!" But come on la, at 34???? Get real. Get a life.

You may think I'm such a snotty betch for freaking out over something as petty as this. Yeah, yeah.. so what if you graduate from Harvard or Yale or universiti kat Sintok tu... But I am far from being snotty. This is not the only time that he's insulted me. Let me tell you something ok, instead of watper beb, this guy's idea of asking me out on a date is to call me up and say:

Jock: Watsup beb? Watper malam ni? Yeah, baby...

Me: Nothing much. Why?

Jock: Lepak jom? Yeah, baby...

Me: Kat mana? (I didnt say kat manerrrr ok, I said kat mana)

Jock: Jom ah, kita gi Craven. Malam ni Arsenal playing. I see you there. Yeah, baby...

Me: Err, who else is there?

Jock: Ada la kawan-kawan I lagi 5-6 orang... Yeah, baby...

First of all, aku tak tengok bola la, bangsat. The only sports I watch are tennis and basketball (because I had a big time crush on John Starks of the NY Knicks and Pat Riley - the hottest coach EVER). And he KNOWS that. Secondly, you have 5-6 other guys there, and I'm the only girl! Nak jadi mangsa gang-bang ke aku ni? Or I'll just sit there with my mouth agape while they talk football. Hello???? And third, kalau ye pun aku nak kena jadi gang-bang victim, at least have the courtesy to pick me up at my place la. Hopeless jock.

Well in the end, I left his watper-beb at that. I didn't reply. Why should I? I have this cultured, intelligent, caring, sophisticated, funny, attractive Old Boy that I'm seeing....

OK enough, ini bukan blog jiwang...

my saviour

2008-04-28T11:53:00.001+08:00

But it was The Diver who actually rescued me...

Exactly seven days after my rescue, we had the most wonderful dinner together in the clouds, just us. And I realized then, at that very moment how much he meant to me, how special he made me feel and how no one else has ever touched this bruised heart the way he has.

And I don't even need to hear him say anything.

Just his smile. That's more than enough to get me through the day.

note to self

2008-04-17T11:48:00.000+08:00

Keep yourself hydrated. Drink more water - and no, no coffee. It has never been your libation of choice until last year, remember? Remember when it used to give you headaches? Coffee is bad. Period.

Carbs are bad. Remember when you use to take only one carb meal a day? WHOLEMEAL, no whites. Remember that everytime you order your turkey sandwich at SF Coffee.

Don't let your mind wander before bed. Stop thinking about the stupid timeline that you have to do, the post-mortem reports, the phone calls that you didn't make today... Or whether or not you've burst the budget of your last event...

Take deep breaths. You always feel better after that. Remember how you used to do that every day... Deeeeepppp breathsssssss.... Your cubicle seems much more nicer after that. And your STAROBA boss suddenly doesn't seem that bad either.

Learn to love unconditionally. Not all men are bastards. Only ones that are attracted to you are.

Don't be swayed by the aroma of the Nasi Kukus Ayam Kampung Goreng when you go down to the food court during lunch time today.
Somebody loves you more than life itself. Please promise yourself to take good care of him because his heart is not bubble-wrapped.

Some days, I just need to be reminded.

8 chicks and a jakarta-bandung trip

2008-04-11T18:00:00.001+08:00

What do you get when 8 shopping-crazed, loud(foul)-mouthed, food-obsessed women travel together on the world's cheapest airline to go to the land where they think love and happiness can be bought and sold?

Utter chaos, tired feet and increased waistline.

Happynye Miss Preggers naik flight murahan...

Preggers lookalikes pun happy jugak

This January-planned trip took place on April 1st - where seven friends (three of whom I've known since I was 13!) and I flew from KL to Jakarta and went on road to Bandung. Itu namanya cheapskate - we didn't want to pay the extra RM200 for a direct flight to Bandung. Whether it was worth it or not still remains debatable.

Day 1

Having coffee at one of the rest areas along the Jakarta-Bandung highway

We arrived in Jakarta at about midnite - and our supir Pak Yanto was there to drive us straight to Bandung. The journey took us about 3 hours, with the midnite macet and Jakarta weekend traffic and heavy rain in the last leg of the trip. At around 3 am we reached Hotel Utari, Jln Juanda, Bandung. The Hotel has a nice colonial feel to it, although a bit spooky-looking. It reminded me of the government house we used to stay in in the 80's at Jalan Skudai, JB.

Thank you to a certain someone for staying up just to make sure I got to the hotel safe and sound.

Day 2

Shopaholics anonymous in Pregio

I woke up to the sound of Bandung traffic. It was so quiet when we arrived and now I felt like I was sleeping on the streets of Chow Kit Road during rush hour. Our room was facing the main road and definitely not sound proof. In fact I think the acoustics were so good that it actually amplified the sounds of the street. Dang! I couldn't even do my morning business because the noise was just sooooo distracting. Tried to whack as much cili padi as I could with the nasi goreng breakfast, praying that it would help induce bowel movement. Sorry, too much information!!!

5 a Sec, somewhere in Bandung

Patradissa Guest House

We asked Pak Edy (our supir's boss) if there were any other hotels around that are as cheap or cheaper. He recommended Patradissa Guest House (can't remember on which road) located across the city council building (Pemerintah Kota Bandung) which was just a 5-minute drive away. So we checked out of Utari and checked into Patradissa.

Rina almost bought all the telekungs in here...

Got a text from my mum, asking if I could get her a "sutera kaca but classic design and not modern design OR a purple handbag". Pak Yanto took us to this batik place (dang! tak ingat nama tempat lagi!) Couldn't find the sutera kaca. That's it, at this point I was like - PURPLE HANDBAG. Then we headed straight to Pasar Baru. Pasar Baru is a must-visit - all sorts of embroidered clothes, batik, scarves, accessories, textile, knick knacks, you name it. Still no sutera kaca. But Rina bought a dozen telekungs, one for each prayer time. And I bought Benazir Bhutto scarves, among many many other things, in preparation of me donning the hijab in the near (distant) future. Err...

In awe of the Sambal Ijo at Pak Chi Met's...

We also had the nicest food court lunch ever at Pak Chi Met's at Pasar Baru. The sambal was heavenly. Again, another catalyst.

With 7 floors filled to the brim with goodies, we spent the whole day there. By the end of the day, feet aching, we head on to Roger's Spa. Tapi disebabkan oleh kegelojohan bershopping, we stopped by at an FO for a while (Happening Boutique) before Roger's. At Roger's there were only a few spots for Body Massage so I opted for a Face Massage package. And added on Accu-Pressure, Whitening Mask, Collagen Mask and Ear-Candling Therapy and had my brows trimmed for the hell of it.

We had dinner at Popeye's after that - hoping that the mash would be as good as the one in the States (but I forgot that the one in the States had bacon bits in it :P). Food was so so, service was utter crap. Rina tapaued some Dunkin' Donuts and Sate Kambing for us to pig out before we sleep.

Sebab bilik dah tak muat, pakai corridor je letak plastic bags...

Back at the hotel, more laughs, more calories, and packing.

Day 3

In the morning we did all the FOs at Jalan Juanda. Grande, JetSet, Victoria, the works la. Can't even remember the names of the FOs anymore.

Out of all that, I made a gazzillion purchases. But one really weird one - a Burberry Trench Coat. Not a winter one though, a spring coat kinda thing. Now somebody has to take me somewhere cold... Or as Dalie suggested, "Maybe you could wear that with nothing underneath and show up at your boyfriend's door." Too much TV. Sama macam si Rainmaker tu.

We ate like there's no tomorrow at Dapur Sangkuriang

We decided to have Sundanese food for lunch (again) and had a smackalicious one at Dapur Sangkuriang, a stone's throw from Rumah Mode. Rumah Mode is arguably the best FO there is in Bandung. I completely went nuts there. We also went to Toko Diaz where they have a massive collection of handbags. I got my mom's purple Gucci there, and got myself a new Gucci red wallet.

Dinner was at Bakso Malang - just realized that I also ate at the Jakarta branch when I was in Jakarta last year. Ish. Nothing to shout about. I had Bakso Komplit, or something that sounds like that.

Sangat yummy baby...

After dinner, Ida the preggers CRAVED for another round of the Banana and Cheese dessert so we tapaued some from a nearby stall.

Day 4

It's a sign from above... right in front of Martha Tilaar was this John & Fred Tailor.

Last minute shopping at Pasar Baru - but Rina and I decided to head on to a spa. I badly needed a hairwash. Pak Yanto took us to Martha Tilaar Spa and Saloon. Got a L'oreal Hair Treatment and Hand, Head and Shoulder Massage for around RM20. Try to top that! Rina had a Facial. Unfortunately, the Martha Tilaar girl got too enthusiastic in curling in my hair so I ended up looking like a minah indon yang baru turun kapal.

Check out my Martha Tilaar curls man...geli.

Then we had to pick up the girls at Pasar Baru, but before that we made a pit stop to tapau some Batagor at Batagor Kingsley (not related in any way or form to Ben Kingsley). Batagor is a local snack made of fish paste and fried tofu, much like yong taufu but tastes much much better. No picture of this lah.

After picking up the girls at Pasar Baru we headed to Kartika Sari to buy brownie kukus and other sweet stuff to bring back. I also bought a box of Pisang Molen and instant Bandrek (Ginger Tea) for my bibik who's forever flatulent. We then went back to our hotel to pack up and head on to the Airport!

Bandung to Jakarta.

We had to rent another van just for our LUGGAGE :P BELIEVE IT!

When we arrived in Jakarta. Gridlock bumper to bumper. At times it was just a standstill. This is the time when anxious SMSes were traded. Cry.

At the Angke exit, dead silence in the van. You can hear an ant fart. We were scared shitless - what if we missed our flight? Rina would have to sell all her 12 telekungs, I would have to sell my soul to the devil (because I had no money on me whatsoever) and we would all be in limbo at the airport... until god knows when...

6 bloody hours.

It was a scene out of The Amazing Race at Soekarno Hatta. We were rushing for trolleys and finally managed to reach the airline-that-shall-not-be-named counter. Intan was the first to check in, and she had to pay excess baggage at the other counter - so she went to the ATM and lined up at the excess baggage fee counter. When it came to Ida's turn, the Sundel bolong-looking woman in red asked her to pay right there and then and had the NERVE to ask Ida to "pinjam la kawan-kawan kalau tak cukup duit". At that point I only had Rp200,000 on me. And it wasn't enough for Ida's excess baggage fee yang macam duit hantaran anak Tan Sri tu. Naja had just enough - that was also cash she had to borrow from me. Rina and Dalina were at the other side of the queue.

And then the unthinkable happened. Ida in her fit of panic, turned to the golfer-looking Malay guy at the next aisle and asked "Do you have any money? Boleh tak I pinjam dulu. Lepas tu I ganti."

The guy, stunned, answered: "Err.. kejap eh, I settle I punya dulu. Kalau ada extra I bagi you."

My jaw dropped. Aduh.. .kawan aku ni gi mintak duit kat total stranger la pulakkkkk.

I screamed at Sundel Bolong, "Excuse me, can you just let her take out her money first so that she can pay at the other counter??? Can't you see that there's a freaking queue? Use your common sense la!"

Please note eh - everyone was looking at us at this point but we were just so shameless. If I were one of them I'd just mutter underneath my breath, "Tu lah, shopping tak ingat dunia, nak bayar excess baggage dah takde duit."

So in the end Sundel Bolong relented and let Ida off the hook. She checked me in without even looking at me. And thank god I had enough for my airport tax and excess baggage. And I almost got my sambal pecel taken away but I won the argument that it is not cairan but pepejal. So they let it through hand luggage.

Singapore from my window. Counting the minutes to land in KL.

We finally boarded the plane, still not totally relaxed because we knew there would be more drama when we get back to KL. (ie. customs checkpoint). The airliner with stewardesses that looked like something out of an 80's cheap magazine landed circa 11.30 pm. At the customs checkpoint - Hana's and my luggage were checked together, two customs gentlemen opened up our bursting-at-the-seams cheap bags and asked, "Berapa hari dekat Bandung?" It's as if a bimbo-switch was turned on in a split second - Hana went, "Errr.. 3 days, eh... 4 lah.."

Then I added, with a higher than usual pitch voice "Berapa hari eh Hana, 3 kot.. eh.. tak tau la bang, kaki saya dah sakit dah ni..." Hana then muttered something really, really bimbo-ish to which the customs guy replied, "Tu la, dah penat shopping lepas ni mesti terbongkang..."

Smile. Flutter (ikut Aiz). Flutter. Flutter, although sans falsies. Smile again. Put on a damsel in distress face. Make eye contact. Smile again. Twirl my hair. Tilt my head to the right. Tilt my head to the left. Smile.

"Ok lah, boleh tutup beg." Phew. Phew. Phew. Customs guy let us through.

Rina and Dalina got taxed a bit, I suppose someone's gotta be the victim la kan. Or maybe they just need Auto Bimbo 101 lessons from Hana and I. I know Dalina should've worn that Banana Republic top that night. Gerenti lepas.

Funny, but I've never felt better coming home from any overseas trip. It was the best trip ever with the girls, and the best homecoming I've ever had in a million years.

Can't wait to do Bandung again.

sweet thang

2008-04-08T10:18:00.005+08:00

Before I start putting up pics of our Bandung sojourn, I wanna thank meandmylife for these wonderful cupcakes last week (or was it two weeks back?).

These really made my day. Really.

Especially this one... in honour of me getting a haircut.. tee hee... Scissors and hair dryer, geddit?

5 signs i'm growing fat

2008-03-26T19:40:00.003+08:00

1. I had a whole portion of Nasi Kukus Ayam Kampung for lunch and still have space for Pengat Durian for tea. Symptoms of perut dah mengembang. Yeah, yeah, some of you are smirking thinking about my photos on Spena's FB.

2. The only way to hide my double chin is to look up to the sky when a stalker was taking my photo. It worked.

3. Climbing up the stairs from 36th floor to 37th floor seems a very uphill task. One flight of stairs and I'm struggling for air.

4. Right after a rice and asam pedas dinner I can down an ice blended mocha with such ease. Followed by a glass of ginger and mint tea or some sh*t like that.

5. Everyone starts a conversation with me with "You look happier now." Followed by ..."Er.. rasanya dah gain weight sikit la..." Some were not so kind, "Are you pregnant?"

a solution to my headaches

2008-03-21T15:09:00.002+08:00

I decided to cut my hair over lunch break.

It was a split second decision.

Just like that. Snip, snip. All gone.

Sorry, I know you'd miss my curls. Tapi curls tu pun sebenarnya fake ok.

a very chee-fee-bai-fai day, but saved by a wonderful karaoke session

2008-03-20T14:32:00.006+08:00

Yesterday was a betch.

I got in the office at 8:15 am and usual browsed the morning dailies. Didn't plan to splurge on any sinful mamak offerings for breakfast, so I had a Nestle yogurt, plain. But 15 minutes later, I had this stupid craving for paper thosai from the mamak at the food court. So I finally gave in to my epicurean affection for mamak breakfast. As soon as I finished my second breakfast with Ita and Cake, I bumped into my boss at the lift lobby. Alamak. Mesti dia ingat saya suka melepak kat mamak pagi2 sampai tak sedar diri.

As soon as I got to my "concubine", my boss buzzed me. Standard lah, dah nampak orang gi breakfast tadi, startlah dumping all sorts of shitty crap on me. (oh god, i said dump, shit and crap in one sentence). Then the tough questions came, anxiety, anxiety, anxiety.... A big event is coming up on the 1st of April and a lot of things still need to be ironed out. But as my boss, he sure as hell knows that there's no use in making me more anxious about things that are not done. Boleh tolong jangan bagi saya panic boleh tak? Nangis ni tau.

At 9:45 am I was still in my boss' room, having a discussion on a media release. I had a 10am at KLCC, so I was like ... "err.. can I go now.. cuz I have a meeting in like, 15 minutes?"

Boss: What time are you coming back to the office?

Me: Huh? When the meeting ends lah.

Boss: Ya, like what time?

Me: I wouldn't know, I'm not the one chairing the meeting!

Boss: So you're NOT planning to come back to the office? *smirking*

Me: Of course I'll come back la! Ok lah, I come back at noon. Sheesh.

Persetan. What kind of statement is that, "You're not planning to come back to the office?" Am I perceived as someone who likes to skive off work? I know I'm guilty of long lunches but hey what about the long hours that I've put in? I'm online 24/7 for him and I don't even have a BlackBerry. I will even reply his emails at midnite. In bed. Thank god I don't have a husband. Damn. Don't tell me any of that went unnoticed?

Oh the above was a non-event la actually. What happened after almost cost me my life! Well maybe not life la, but would've cost me a few hundred bucks at least.

After that, I happily drove like a law-abiding citizen to KLCC, as I got into Jalan Ampang (I was in the middle lane), right in front of Wisma MCA, a brown bus swerved into my lane, without even signalling, missing the front part of my car by a few inches. It was such a fcking close call ok. I swear to god if I had gone any faster. BAMMM!!

Kimax! Saya ingat itu adalah Metrobus driven by an Indon bastard, because that kind of psycho driving is so typical of Metrobus kan... Tapi rupa-rupanya.... OH.... tidak....

Right in front of me, in black letters at the back of the bus was "Fiat Sapientia Virtus".

This almost killed me.

Bladihell!

Are they out to get me? Suddenly I remembered this post that I had written about graduates of our so-called Eton of the East (barf barf, puke puke).

I got at the KL Convention Centre car park safe as sound, thank god. The open car park was full, as expected. So I drove to the side entrance to get to the basement car park and as soon as I got there this young chap was putting up the orange cones and a sign that says "Car Park Full". He said, "Akak kena parking kat Suria kak!"

To cut a long story short, I had a field day walking around KL Convention Centre and Suria in my 3-inch heels. And it wasn't Manolos, so my poor feet was just tortured to the max.

In a nutshell - sakit hati, almost mati, sakit kaki...

I thought the day couldn't be saved, but at night we had a fun karaoke session at where else until 3 in the morning. Me likey.

Thank you for saving my day.

my medina

2008-03-17T22:58:00.009+08:00

I can still remember the day she was born, four years ago. The air-conditioner in the labour room went bust, and a thunderstorm was brewing outside. I was soaked in sweat and two nurses had to use old newspaper to kipas me, while another massaged my back to ease the labour pains. Medina came out right after 4 pm, after a duel with death. At least that's what it seemed to me at that time. Out of the three deliveries (all without epidural, ladies), Medina's was the hardest.

And ironically, growing up, she was the easiest one to take care of. She's an old soul, she's a nurturer - she'll make sure everything is in order, very Monicaesque, very independent, and you can take her just about anywhere. As long as you've got food and drinks in tow.

We celebrated Medina's birthday on election day, although her actual birthday was on the 4th of March, because that's the ONLY time that her busy mom is available. I'd like to thank Medina's Auntie Nazra for these beautiful shots:

She absolutely adores fried chicken. Or any other food for that matter lah. Just like her Mama.

She is the ULTIMATE Drama Queen, blessed with a flexible rubber face like Jim Carrey.

Unfortunaly, her younger brother, Yunus Aynaoui is such a terror typhoon. We had to sing two birthday songs, one for Yunus la, obviously. He believes that every birthday party he attends must be his. Egomaniac. Any baby shrinks out there?

Happy birthday, Madge!

i'm no politician but...

2008-03-10T00:23:00.005+08:00

Please bear with me, since these are delusional, random notes and I'm under the influence of antihistamines, albeit in legal doses.

Today, we celebrate the political diversity in Malaysia, as BN suffered from its fall from grace.

I am, like the majority of the people in Malaysia, a victim of the skyrocketing prices of everything from petrol to flour to my favourite ice cream, Ben & Jerry's. (It was RM26 before, and now it's RM31.80 at Cold Storage)! Oh, oh, oh... and my favourite snack, Arnotts' Shapes used to sell for RM5.29 and now is more than 7 effing ringgit. And they say we should voted for the Opposition, because the current government is to be blamed for all this.

Well, I didn't vote, because I didn't register. But if I had, I would've voted for BN. Still. Why?

Well firstly, it's because I don't bite the hands that feed me. 5 years of scholarship in the States from a BN-led government meant a lot to me. And they didn't even force me to serve the country. I'm indebted, for life.

Number two is that, I'm a sucker for history and political legacy. Umno fought for the Malays, and I am a Malay. That's it. I feel the need to cling to something that preaches the unifying factor of being a Malay and the meaning of Malayness. And no, I am not a racist for saying this.

Number three is because I am a Johorean. This ties back to number two, but I feel that having lived and grow up in this state I feel blessed. I think the state is politically sophisticated and we have a balanced view of religion and secularism. Iyer, Aiz cakap orang Johor memang kerek. Where else can a politician whose sex video became public can walk around without having to fear of being judged by his vice? We embraced him for his strengths, and not his weakness (not literally, though. Did you guys see the video??? Dang!!).

But I must say that I'm truly dissapointed at how BN handled the whole campaigning process - putting iffy candidates in Selangor and KL (what were you thinking Sleepy???), complacency and sheer overconfidence (someone told me Budak Jawa was not even campaigning at Shah Alam), and just the lack of an ass-whooper in the party is truly sad.

Lepas tu, bila BN dah kalah in certain states, ada orang tu cakap, "Dah kalah, kalah la.. nak buat macam mana... (dengan loghat utara)"

The person who said that out to resign and be cast into oblivion.

Ouch.

recently, life's little pleasures

2008-03-07T22:42:00.015+08:00

This slice of heaven at New World Hotel.

For the first time, soaking up the view from SkyBar on a rainy Sunday nite. With great company to match.

Trying on a Gap top at Pavilion on a working day lunch.

Donning a luxurious hotel bathrobe and putting my feet up on the sofa while watching Oprah.

CamWhoring 101

The reason for me to have my Fendi sunnies on all day - conjunctivitis. Or so the doctor says.

Test-driving this. Heheh.

inaugural leg of lamb nite

2008-03-06T23:17:00.006+08:00

The lamb after 15 minutes in the oven.

Last Saturday, for the first time we devirginized Hana's oven in her new apartment... Heheh.. And it's also the first time that we made roast lamb for our Saturday dinner.

This post is dedicated to Aiz who couldn't come over for dinner. We're definitely going to have another round of lamb nite cuz Spena missed this one too.

Roasted leg of lamb with a medley of roasted leeks, mushrooms, potatoes and carrots!

I have very low self-confidence when talking about the dishes that I create but this lamb leg was sooooooo out-of-this-world good... As soon as I took it out of the oven I sliced a tiny piece and that it just tasted sooooooo gorgeous! And the gravy was just super - I used the pan drippings so it's all lamb juice. OK that sounded kinda gross, but believe me, the gravy was just as heavenly. It's a collaboration with Hana, though. I'm not taking all the credit here, okay.

We also had honey chicken wings (kena tipu dengan Giant sebab mixed with chicken wings ayam pencen). And we also made Konnyaku jelly for dessert - filled with chunks of dragon fruit, grapes and golden kiwi (kiwi yang berwarna gold gitewww).

Not many piccies taken cuz I forgot the cam. But just enough to make Aiz green with envy.

And yes, I will post the recipe on my recipe site very soon. After elections. Heheh. Oh Guile, will also do the tag very soon ya.

mummy meltdown

2008-02-29T20:42:00.002+08:00

One evening, I came home to Yunus rummaging my undies drawer...

And Ali came back from school with a bruised lip...

Mummy meltdown.

MORE dinner with friends

2008-02-22T15:53:00.017+08:00

As y'all know, my humble abode has been the venue for numerous dinners with the gang. I love having them, they love my food (I dunno why) and we'll just kick it and betch and betch and betch all nite. And sometimes Dalin4 will have her spa nites - egg white facials, free hair wash, etc. The past couple of weeks I've hosted two dinners - earlier was a Japanese-themed nite. And last weekend was my very own Curry Mee (or Curry Spaghettini, I should say) with gravy that's a hybrid of Nyonya laksa and Sarawak Laksa (back to my roots, ya?) and The Burger.

LAST WEEKEND AT CURRY SPAGHETTINI AND BURGER NITE...

Kmr our guest of honour got excited over The Burger...

Aiz, our other guest of honour can't take her eyes off The Burger... "Aiz! Aiz! Look at the camera, woman!"

Siap peace sign lagi pompuan nih.

They look so happy...

Must be something in the food...

Aiz stuffing her pretty li'l face.. NGAPPPP!!!

Thank you Aiz for the lovely pressies! Me likey this Victoria Secret My Desire body mist and lotion. It just smells so heavenly!!! Jasmine, grapefruit and (cant remember what). It just screams... EAT ME!!! And to the rest of the gang, please lah follow Aiz's dinner etiquette ok, come with pressies!!! Pressies!!!!!! Comprende? Not ice, not drinks, not desserts but ACTUAL GIFTS... er... RM50 and above please. Heheh.

TWO WEEKS BACK AT THE JAPANESE NITE

No kimono-clad geishas here ok. Give it a rest. On the menu were sushis, veggie tempura, chicken teriyaki, and mango-infused fruit konnyaku jelly. *drool*

Aznan my yo bro from South Bend, Indiana. Thanks dude, for fixing the table. But I think it still needs fixing so next time come fully equipped with your toolbox, ok!

These tiny morsels were tres delicieux!!!

We had a variety of rolls - spicy tuna, crabstick, omelette, cucumber, even chicken teriyaki!

Spena rollin' it... Err... it's harder than it looks this sushi-making thingy. I restricted myself to making the chicken teriyaki and helping out the new bibik (jgn marah Ojarre) with the tempura-frying.

I have a feeling the Grilla's gonna get fired up again this weekend. Cheers amigos!!!!