random, but deep, thoughts on my 33rd birthday

Would you rather someone say "I Love You" or "I Am In Love With You"?

Someone once told me, "I love her, but I am in LOVE with you". And he said it with such passion, such conviction that I thought that it meant he loved me more. Up to this very day, I don't even know but I live every day believing that. Like a kid believing in Santa Claus.

A bit too much info for my blog, but fck it, it's my birthday I just needed a bit of drama queen madness in here.

But anyway, it's 30 minutes past midnight. I had a nice birthday-prelude lunch of scrumptious beef nachos and margaritas with you-know-who and later on a spanking good birthday-eve time at Havana with Brother Bear (GemGem Gem), Ayu and Mr Greystreaks. And muchas gracias Senor SeaDemon for a birthday post on his blog. Bless you.

Good nite, and tomorrow I shall wake up to be officially 33 years old.

And GemGem, I still don't think I am pruh-mis-kyoo-uhs.

what is zombie kampung pisang?

I hope these satisfy y'all's curiosity... Can also be "I Am Legend" vampires, no?

Anyway, these are from the makan2 session at my place the other day. After a hefty dinner of beef stew, beef bacon pasta and lamb chops, Dalina treated us to her infamous "egg-white facial".

The guys at Secret Recipe made that typo...

I'll let you in to one of the secret ingredients in my beef stew... The rest of the secret ingredients are of course SECRET!!!!!

Thanks to Spena for the pix below:



And peeps, I have gained 4 kgs since Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Yeay!

little-miss-sad-no-more

A lot of people came up to me after the Big D and offered help. Emotional mostly. Some said that I can count on them if I needed to fix a lightbulb and other things of that nature. None financially though.

Although I was very independent before the Big D, the idea of not having the "Man of the House" terrified me at times. Not all the time, but I'd get spurts of anxiety before bed - "What if someone breaks in the house? What if I get really sick and there's no one to drive me to the hospital?" I had no one. I was devastated. But then I thought... Kalau macam tu, you don't need a man, you just need a guard dog and a taxi driver. Betul tak?

And now four months into being single again, I'm loving life. Yes I still do get my panic attacks at times. But fundamentally, I'm happy. I'm happy because I have shed off all the guilt of living every day wondering if God will punish me for harboring ill feelings towards my (then) hubby. And...

I'm happy because I am a much better mother now than who I was 6 months back.

I'm happy because I can share my feelings with people that make me feel appreciated.

I'm happy that I can have my friends over and binge and become zombie kampung pisang.

I'm happy because I have my life back.

I'm happy because someone is there to make me laugh my heart out.

And I'm happy to have someone that cares for me enough to pick me up when I was abysmally down in the dumps.

i am random, that's what i am

This post is so random. I'm just trying to distract a few people.

A Japanese dinner with Brother Bear and Ayu. The Cod Teriyaki at MO's Wasabi Bistro was delish. At the back is Brother Bear's Japanese Hamburger. Dozo dozo!

Kata tak nak beli bag lagi! Errr....sho' nuff, the devil made me do it!

The most comfiest thing to wear in bed. Nothing comes between me and my Calvins.

I took a picture of Ali with all the Christmas decor at the mall...
...only to have him say later, "Ma, that was embarassing! Please don't do that again!". First few signs of growing up. He's only 6, by the way.

Do not watch the AFC before bed. Chances are you'll be rummaging the fridge at midnight. I made that mistake last nite.

Only in Batu Pahat peeps (correct me if I'm wrong) - Roibo's Jasmine Pearl Milk Tea. Zaza I know you're drooling right now.

Don't you just love December? With the weather right now you can wear cardigans and feel all warm n toasty. And have one of them hot chocs with marshmallows. *singing* I'mmmmm dreaming of a whittttteeee Christmassssss *singing*

Lunch is always the highlight of the day. With looney friends like these...

I just put up a mini water fountain last week, next to my money plant. So now it's prosperity (plant and two gold rocks) and tranquility. Breathe in... breathe out...

A tip: When your kids act up, take a picture of them, and then show them how awful they look when they sulk. It worked with mine.

You know you're old and don't give a rat's ass about how you look when you have enough confidence to take a picture of yourself first thing in the morning when you wake up.

I've been wearing a rose quartz bracelet recently. Oh you guys know what rose quartz is for! Seems to work like a charm ;)

Thank you for sticking through my randomness.

spilling it out

Dear Thebo72 (or the adorable Aiz),

Thank you for thinking long and hard about my Facebook question. When I was in school, I wanted to grow up to be like you - happy, talented and popular. (sidetrack jap). And yes, I took your advice.

sentence taken out* And it's like this heavy burden has been lifted off my chest. I just want to say, no matter how old I am now, I sentence taken out*

Thank you for that nudge, that push, that very inspirational entry. (and not forgetting the artistic shots! absolutely brill!)

Love ya
JZ

*I just had to take out a few things. Too sappy. At time of writing I was in a New York state of mind. Aiz, I hope you read it before it was all taken out... Hahah!

Siapa2 yang tak sempat baca tu. Je suis désolé.