Although I was very independent before the Big D, the idea of not having the "Man of the House" terrified me at times. Not all the time, but I'd get spurts of anxiety before bed - "What if someone breaks in the house? What if I get really sick and there's no one to drive me to the hospital?" I had no one. I was devastated. But then I thought... Kalau macam tu, you don't need a man, you just need a guard dog and a taxi driver. Betul tak?
And now four months into being single again, I'm loving life. Yes I still do get my panic attacks at times. But fundamentally, I'm happy. I'm happy because I have shed off all the guilt of living every day wondering if God will punish me for harboring ill feelings towards my (then) hubby. And...
I'm happy because I am a much better mother now than who I was 6 months back.
I'm happy because I can share my feelings with people that make me feel appreciated.
I'm happy that I can have my friends over and binge and become zombie kampung pisang.
I'm happy because I have my life back.
I'm happy because someone is there to make me laugh my heart out.
And I'm happy to have someone that cares for me enough to pick me up when I was abysmally down in the dumps.
12 comments:
I'm glad you're happy. I would like to see a more cheerful you from now on, walking through a certain mall with shopping bags or smiling alone at a certain coffee place.
Just don't forget to invite me to turn into one of those zombies kampung pisang whenever you have a binge do.
I wanna be happy too.
Oh...and Selamat Hari Raya...I'm sure, unlike me, you celebrate it.
Wooohoooo!! And I'm happeee for u too. More food!! More food!! I can be your assistant in the kitchen...anytime.
Spena...itu la. I am still the geram with Ibu. Masak tak nak ajak makan. At least I can play PS with Ali Potter while you gals slog it out in the kitchen.
SD, kena buat sex change la you.
Spena, soon.. soon... but this time with the kids around. And a healthier food option, k.
lol zombie kampong pisang?!
I'm also still sweating out on the so-hard-to-get invitation.
And I'll bring in the bananas, if that's what you ladies prefer ;) Heheh.
Ardy...very the subtle one la you LOL!
za, i'll post the pix of da zombies once I get back to KL. it's freaking hilarious.
SD and RD... bananas schmananas... bring the cucumbers too while you're at it. no japanese ones please. don't get any funny ideas k. the cucumbers are for dark circles around the eyes. and we'll mash up them bananas and use it as a face mask.
hey, i got it, next time it will be themed "A Nite at the Spa" so it'll all be healthy food and facials. Cool!
lol i'll be looking forward to that then.
If that's the theme, surely there won't be any cheese cake, lah....
But, can we have Yoga session too? Hehehehe....
dnas, sapa nak jadi Yogamaster ni? I used to be quite flexible. Muahahah... And also, ambulance on standby jgn lupa!
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