ini bukan blog jiwang

... so I have to put up another posting as soon as I possibly could *blush*

OK, OK, OK, now, tell me...

How am I supposed to reply when this guy that I know, Facebook-messaged me: "Watper beb?"

If I was younger, I would've brushed off the sheer lack of finesse and replied, "Hey you, I'm good. Wanna go out for drinks later?" Because this guy is a hunk yang sangat lah delish. Don't even get me started on how he looks because this entry will end up as a porn entry if I do.

But, HELL NO! Not now baby. In fact, come to think of it, even if I was in college I wouldn't have even entertained those kinda greetings. High school, maybe.

I feel so insulted. Hoi jock, I am a freaking Notre Dame graduate in International Relations (minoring in Art History and Theology) with two semesters on the Dean's List (let's just not mention to the Probation status ok, because I can plead temporary insanity to all of that). And this guy KNOWS all that. How dare you watper-beb me????!!! How dare you?

Ye lah, I might not have a political blog or one that discuss serious global issues, but my daily read are the Financial Daily and Malaysian Reserve. I recite Kahlil Gibran out loud when I'm down and read Neruda's poems when I'm alone in bed. And no, I don't read Mangga or URTV, or become a fan club member of some budak hingusan Akademi Fantasia unlike someone's bimbo wife.

And can you believe it, the guy who actually did the watper-beb is actually MY AGE, and of course a US grad. Maybe he watched too much Beavis & Butthead and came back and befriended a bunch of Keramat Mat Rempits. Cuz he sure acts like a hybrid of those two things. Hey, I adored Beavis & Butthead okay - "I am the Great Cornholio! I need teepee for my bunghole!!!!" But come on la, at 34???? Get real. Get a life.

You may think I'm such a snotty betch for freaking out over something as petty as this. Yeah, yeah.. so what if you graduate from Harvard or Yale or universiti kat Sintok tu... But I am far from being snotty. This is not the only time that he's insulted me. Let me tell you something ok, instead of watper beb, this guy's idea of asking me out on a date is to call me up and say:

Jock: Watsup beb? Watper malam ni? Yeah, baby...

Me: Nothing much. Why?

Jock: Lepak jom? Yeah, baby...

Me: Kat mana? (I didnt say kat manerrrr ok, I said kat mana)

Jock: Jom ah, kita gi Craven. Malam ni Arsenal playing. I see you there. Yeah, baby...

Me: Err, who else is there?

Jock: Ada la kawan-kawan I lagi 5-6 orang... Yeah, baby...

First of all, aku tak tengok bola la, bangsat. The only sports I watch are tennis and basketball (because I had a big time crush on John Starks of the NY Knicks and Pat Riley - the hottest coach EVER). And he KNOWS that. Secondly, you have 5-6 other guys there, and I'm the only girl! Nak jadi mangsa gang-bang ke aku ni? Or I'll just sit there with my mouth agape while they talk football. Hello???? And third, kalau ye pun aku nak kena jadi gang-bang victim, at least have the courtesy to pick me up at my place la. Hopeless jock.

Well in the end, I left his watper-beb at that. I didn't reply. Why should I? I have this cultured, intelligent, caring, sophisticated, funny, attractive Old Boy that I'm seeing....

OK enough, ini bukan blog jiwang...

my saviour

But it was The Diver who actually rescued me...

Exactly seven days after my rescue, we had the most wonderful dinner together in the clouds, just us. And I realized then, at that very moment how much he meant to me, how special he made me feel and how no one else has ever touched this bruised heart the way he has.

And I don't even need to hear him say anything.

Just his smile. That's more than enough to get me through the day.

note to self

1. Keep yourself hydrated. Drink more water - and no, no coffee. It has never been your libation of choice until last year, remember? Remember when it used to give you headaches? Coffee is bad. Period.


2. Carbs are bad. Remember when you use to take only one carb meal a day? WHOLEMEAL, no whites. Remember that everytime you order your turkey sandwich at SF Coffee.


3. Don't let your mind wander before bed. Stop thinking about the stupid timeline that you have to do, the post-mortem reports, the phone calls that you didn't make today... Or whether or not you've burst the budget of your last event...


4. Take deep breaths. You always feel better after that. Remember how you used to do that every day... Deeeeepppp breathsssssss.... Your cubicle seems much more nicer after that. And your STAROBA boss suddenly doesn't seem that bad either.


5. Learn to love unconditionally. Not all men are bastards. Only ones that are attracted to you are.


6. Don't be swayed by the aroma of the Nasi Kukus Ayam Kampung Goreng when you go down to the food court during lunch time today.
   
7. Somebody loves you more than life itself. Please promise yourself to take good care of him because his heart is not bubble-wrapped.

Some days, I just need to be reminded.

8 chicks and a jakarta-bandung trip

What do you get when 8 shopping-crazed, loud(foul)-mouthed, food-obsessed women travel together on the world's cheapest airline to go to the land where they think love and happiness can be bought and sold?

Utter chaos, tired feet and increased waistline.



Happynye Miss Preggers naik flight murahan...


Preggers lookalikes pun happy jugak

This January-planned trip took place on April 1st - where seven friends (three of whom I've known since I was 13!) and I flew from KL to Jakarta and went on road to Bandung. Itu namanya cheapskate - we didn't want to pay the extra RM200 for a direct flight to Bandung. Whether it was worth it or not still remains debatable.

Day 1

Having coffee at one of the rest areas along the Jakarta-Bandung highway

We arrived in Jakarta at about midnite - and our supir Pak Yanto was there to drive us straight to Bandung. The journey took us about 3 hours, with the midnite macet and Jakarta weekend traffic and heavy rain in the last leg of the trip. At around 3 am we reached Hotel Utari, Jln Juanda, Bandung. The Hotel has a nice colonial feel to it, although a bit spooky-looking. It reminded me of the government house we used to stay in in the 80's at Jalan Skudai, JB.

Thank you to a certain someone for staying up just to make sure I got to the hotel safe and sound.

Day 2

Shopaholics anonymous in Pregio

I woke up to the sound of Bandung traffic. It was so quiet when we arrived and now I felt like I was sleeping on the streets of Chow Kit Road during rush hour. Our room was facing the main road and definitely not sound proof. In fact I think the acoustics were so good that it actually amplified the sounds of the street. Dang! I couldn't even do my morning business because the noise was just sooooo distracting. Tried to whack as much cili padi as I could with the nasi goreng breakfast, praying that it would help induce bowel movement. Sorry, too much information!!!

5 a Sec, somewhere in Bandung

Patradissa Guest House

We asked Pak Edy (our supir's boss) if there were any other hotels around that are as cheap or cheaper. He recommended Patradissa Guest House (can't remember on which road) located across the city council building (Pemerintah Kota Bandung) which was just a 5-minute drive away. So we checked out of Utari and checked into Patradissa.

Rina almost bought all the telekungs in here...

Got a text from my mum, asking if I could get her a "sutera kaca but classic design and not modern design OR a purple handbag". Pak Yanto took us to this batik place (dang! tak ingat nama tempat lagi!) Couldn't find the sutera kaca. That's it, at this point I was like - PURPLE HANDBAG. Then we headed straight to Pasar Baru. Pasar Baru is a must-visit - all sorts of embroidered clothes, batik, scarves, accessories, textile, knick knacks, you name it. Still no sutera kaca. But Rina bought a dozen telekungs, one for each prayer time. And I bought Benazir Bhutto scarves, among many many other things, in preparation of me donning the hijab in the near (distant) future. Err...

In awe of the Sambal Ijo at Pak Chi Met's...

We also had the nicest food court lunch ever at Pak Chi Met's at Pasar Baru. The sambal was heavenly. Again, another catalyst.

With 7 floors filled to the brim with goodies, we spent the whole day there. By the end of the day, feet aching, we head on to Roger's Spa. Tapi disebabkan oleh kegelojohan bershopping, we stopped by at an FO for a while (Happening Boutique) before Roger's. At Roger's there were only a few spots for Body Massage so I opted for a Face Massage package. And added on Accu-Pressure, Whitening Mask, Collagen Mask and Ear-Candling Therapy and had my brows trimmed for the hell of it.


We had dinner at Popeye's after that - hoping that the mash would be as good as the one in the States (but I forgot that the one in the States had bacon bits in it :P). Food was so so, service was utter crap. Rina tapaued some Dunkin' Donuts and Sate Kambing for us to pig out before we sleep.

Sebab bilik dah tak muat, pakai corridor je letak plastic bags...

Back at the hotel, more laughs, more calories, and packing.


Day 3


In the morning we did all the FOs at Jalan Juanda. Grande, JetSet, Victoria, the works la. Can't even remember the names of the FOs anymore.

Out of all that, I made a gazzillion purchases. But one really weird one - a Burberry Trench Coat. Not a winter one though, a spring coat kinda thing. Now somebody has to take me somewhere cold... Or as Dalie suggested, "Maybe you could wear that with nothing underneath and show up at your boyfriend's door." Too much TV. Sama macam si Rainmaker tu.

We ate like there's no tomorrow at Dapur Sangkuriang

We decided to have Sundanese food for lunch (again) and had a smackalicious one at Dapur Sangkuriang, a stone's throw from Rumah Mode. Rumah Mode is arguably the best FO there is in Bandung. I completely went nuts there. We also went to Toko Diaz where they have a massive collection of handbags. I got my mom's purple Gucci there, and got myself a new Gucci red wallet.

Dinner was at Bakso Malang - just realized that I also ate at the Jakarta branch when I was in Jakarta last year. Ish. Nothing to shout about. I had Bakso Komplit, or something that sounds like that.

Sangat yummy baby...

After dinner, Ida the preggers CRAVED for another round of the Banana and Cheese dessert so we tapaued some from a nearby stall.

Day 4

It's a sign from above... right in front of Martha Tilaar was this John & Fred Tailor.

Last minute shopping at Pasar Baru - but Rina and I decided to head on to a spa. I badly needed a hairwash. Pak Yanto took us to Martha Tilaar Spa and Saloon. Got a L'oreal Hair Treatment and Hand, Head and Shoulder Massage for around RM20. Try to top that! Rina had a Facial. Unfortunately, the Martha Tilaar girl got too enthusiastic in curling in my hair so I ended up looking like a minah indon yang baru turun kapal.

Check out my Martha Tilaar curls man...geli.

Then we had to pick up the girls at Pasar Baru, but before that we made a pit stop to tapau some Batagor at Batagor Kingsley (not related in any way or form to Ben Kingsley). Batagor is a local snack made of fish paste and fried tofu, much like yong taufu but tastes much much better. No picture of this lah.

After picking up the girls at Pasar Baru we headed to Kartika Sari to buy brownie kukus and other sweet stuff to bring back. I also bought a box of Pisang Molen and instant Bandrek (Ginger Tea) for my bibik who's forever flatulent. We then went back to our hotel to pack up and head on to the Airport!

Bandung to Jakarta.

We had to rent another van just for our LUGGAGE :P BELIEVE IT!

When we arrived in Jakarta. Gridlock bumper to bumper. At times it was just a standstill. This is the time when anxious SMSes were traded. Cry.

At the Angke exit, dead silence in the van. You can hear an ant fart. We were scared shitless - what if we missed our flight? Rina would have to sell all her 12 telekungs, I would have to sell my soul to the devil (because I had no money on me whatsoever) and we would all be in limbo at the airport... until god knows when...

6 bloody hours.

It was a scene out of The Amazing Race at Soekarno Hatta. We were rushing for trolleys and finally managed to reach the airline-that-shall-not-be-named counter. Intan was the first to check in, and she had to pay excess baggage at the other counter - so she went to the ATM and lined up at the excess baggage fee counter. When it came to Ida's turn, the Sundel bolong-looking woman in red asked her to pay right there and then and had the NERVE to ask Ida to "pinjam la kawan-kawan kalau tak cukup duit". At that point I only had Rp200,000 on me. And it wasn't enough for Ida's excess baggage fee yang macam duit hantaran anak Tan Sri tu. Naja had just enough - that was also cash she had to borrow from me. Rina and Dalina were at the other side of the queue.

And then the unthinkable happened. Ida in her fit of panic, turned to the golfer-looking Malay guy at the next aisle and asked "Do you have any money? Boleh tak I pinjam dulu. Lepas tu I ganti."

The guy, stunned, answered: "Err.. kejap eh, I settle I punya dulu. Kalau ada extra I bagi you."

My jaw dropped. Aduh.. .kawan aku ni gi mintak duit kat total stranger la pulakkkkk.

I screamed at Sundel Bolong, "Excuse me, can you just let her take out her money first so that she can pay at the other counter??? Can't you see that there's a freaking queue? Use your common sense la!"

Please note eh - everyone was looking at us at this point but we were just so shameless. If I were one of them I'd just mutter underneath my breath, "Tu lah, shopping tak ingat dunia, nak bayar excess baggage dah takde duit."

So in the end Sundel Bolong relented and let Ida off the hook. She checked me in without even looking at me. And thank god I had enough for my airport tax and excess baggage. And I almost got my sambal pecel taken away but I won the argument that it is not cairan but pepejal. So they let it through hand luggage.

Singapore from my window. Counting the minutes to land in KL.

We finally boarded the plane, still not totally relaxed because we knew there would be more drama when we get back to KL. (ie. customs checkpoint). The airliner with stewardesses that looked like something out of an 80's cheap magazine landed circa 11.30 pm. At the customs checkpoint - Hana's and my luggage were checked together, two customs gentlemen opened up our bursting-at-the-seams cheap bags and asked, "Berapa hari dekat Bandung?" It's as if a bimbo-switch was turned on in a split second - Hana went, "Errr.. 3 days, eh... 4 lah.."

Then I added, with a higher than usual pitch voice "Berapa hari eh Hana, 3 kot.. eh.. tak tau la bang, kaki saya dah sakit dah ni..." Hana then muttered something really, really bimbo-ish to which the customs guy replied, "Tu la, dah penat shopping lepas ni mesti terbongkang..."

Smile. Flutter (ikut Aiz). Flutter. Flutter, although sans falsies. Smile again. Put on a damsel in distress face. Make eye contact. Smile again. Twirl my hair. Tilt my head to the right. Tilt my head to the left. Smile.

"Ok lah, boleh tutup beg." Phew. Phew. Phew. Customs guy let us through.

Rina and Dalina got taxed a bit, I suppose someone's gotta be the victim la kan. Or maybe they just need Auto Bimbo 101 lessons from Hana and I. I know Dalina should've worn that Banana Republic top that night. Gerenti lepas.

Funny, but I've never felt better coming home from any overseas trip. It was the best trip ever with the girls, and the best homecoming I've ever had in a million years.

Can't wait to do Bandung again.

sweet thang

Before I start putting up pics of our Bandung sojourn, I wanna thank meandmylife for these wonderful cupcakes last week (or was it two weeks back?).

These really made my day. Really.

Especially this one... in honour of me getting a haircut.. tee hee... Scissors and hair dryer, geddit?