december

For the past few years, December, which I will always openly admit to be my favorite month - my birthday, Christmas, Year-End sales, New Year's eve et al, has always brought heartaches and challenges.

This year, a recurrent wound presented itself in the form that is almost unimaginable to my emotional state.

And I just have to remind myself, time and again, that I am a fighter.

seksualiti pun nak dimerdekakan?

Let me open up this posting by professing my love to the Lesbian, Gay, Bi and TransGender (LGBT) friends in my circle. They have been the loveliest bunch, and most times, the most sensitive and supportive when I need shoulders to cry on.

I love them to bits.

But I do think that this Seksualiti Merdeka event coming up will only breed more animosity than understanding between the straights and the LGBT communities. Why do I say that?

Look around us. We are in Malaysia, we are predominantly Muslim, generally conservative and still culturally green. We still argue about the haram and halalness of Tabasco Sauce for God's sake! So why do you think that people will embrace Seksualiti Merdeka with open arms?

To most Malaysians, this event is quite a shocker. Even Buletin Utama called it a pesta seks bebas or something to that extent. See how the objective of Seksualiti Merdeka is not understood or skewed before it even started?

As Malaysians, I think we have been pretty tolerant of LGBTs. Case in point would be Azwan Ali (I don't even know which category this dude is in) and the many celebrities that are known to be gay - they still can cari makan peacefully in this country. And most women prefer their Mak Andams to be "Pak Andams" instead because admit it, transgenders have the creativity of a woman and the strength of a man. They are blessed that way.

So what Merdeka are they referring to? Aren't we Merdeka enough? If you talk about kissing in public, not even LGBTs get stared at - even straight couples aren't expected to do that because it's just against our culture.

Pang Khee Teik, one of the founders of Seksualiti Merdeka tweeted "While many LGBTs are kicked fm homes, abused, blackmailed, arrested, KEEPING QUIET IS NOT AN OPTION."

First of all being kicked from homes, abused, blackmailed, arrested are not only LGBT-specific issues. Arrested? Kalau kau transvestites menjual kat Chow Kit maybe so, but so far even in my little quaint hometown of Batu Pahat, cross dressers can lepak all they want and not be arrested.

And to hold this event during Aidiladha celebrations? It's just poor taste. If you can't respect other people's feelings, then why do you expect them to respect yours?

So there.

Your sexuality is your choice. But remember, you can't impose your beliefs or your sexuality upon others. You can't force people to accept who you are.

And most of all, sexuality is about what happens behind closed doors, so just let us keep it that way.

turn me on, turn me off

I tried blogging from my iPad using BlogPress. But that app turned out crap. Oh well.

Anyway, back to what I wanted to write about. I think I've had enough of being pissed with Cik Kam, because it will just put a damper on everything else, and I'm sure people don't wanna be reading about things that are just downright depressing.

Let's just go back to when I write about the sheer idiocy and kebodohsombongan Cik Kam, like my earlier posts. That's more fun.

OK a couple of weeks back, I had a friend that I met on Twitter, Jaja (of www.jajaradzwan.com fame) over at my place to do a hairwrap. It looked like this:


Cool eh?

So then the next day when I went to the office, Cik Kam pointed at my hair and said, "Ada something la kat rambut kau!" I looked at her and then just replied curtly, "Oh that's a hairwrap."

That's it. I didn't want to prolong the conversation, thinking that I want to spare her the embarassment of asking more stupid questions. Because every time we engage in some form of conversation, she will end up making an ass of a fool out of herself. EVERY TIME.

Kawan tak puas hati, and Cik Kam added, "Itu untuk apa? Buat apa pakai hairwrap tu?"

At this point I got pretty annoyed because she was in fact, interrupting my conversation with a friend.

OKlah, kau nak sangat kan kena ngan aku. So I replied, "Hairwrap ni, bila kau tarik sekali, aku TURN ON (tugging once on my hairwrap). Bila tarik dua kali, aku TURN OFF. (tugging twice)"

Her jaw dropped, and looked at me in awe and amazement. Macam nampak alien.

Aku repeat lagi statement TURN ON, TURN OFF tu. This time, aku sebut sebijik sebijik macam ajar toddler bercakap.

Mulut Cik Kam still ternganga and on her face I could see that she was thinking, how can a mere mortal be turned on and off with a tug of a mishmash of colorful thread.

I walked away.

Hampeh kau Cik Kam, mesti malam tu kau Google pasal hairwrap, kan?

crap

testicles


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

cik kam strikes back

Hari ni aku meletup.

I guess I've had it with dealing with Cik Kam's stupidity and arrogance. This was all pent up anger. Had it been someone else who had done what she did earlier this morning, maybe I'll just dismiss it completely. But it was her... it was Cik Kam.. the only person yang membolehkan aku keluar segala weapons of mass destruction aka NECLEUR weapon bak kata fatso from Kuantan tu.

Actually over the past year or so, lifestyle si Kam has changed quite a lot. Lifestyle ye, bukan STYLE. Style kam dot com masih sama. She's a bit on the lavish side, eh, bukan a bit.. A LOT. Lots of people at the office were getting suspicious of where she was getting all the funds from. London, Paris, Jakarta, Singapore, Bali all in a year. Ada orang kata hanky panky, kickbacks, etc. Personally, aku rasa it's a combination of a whole lot of things.

So that one, I'll just leave it to the one Up There to judge lah. But yes, fishy yes very very.

Anyway what pisses me off is more of her incapability to use her brain when she works. This won't have an effect on me if she's just a clerical staff or a non-exec. Masalahnya, dia ni sudah suruh boss promote diri dia as Senior Exec. Hamek. Department BD tau, specialty - Marketing. If i'm not mistaken lah.

Nak kata pergi marketing kat Pasar Tani pun aku rasa dia tak pernah. Inikan lagi nak buat Marketing untuk a company such as this.

Takpelah, kalau baghal sangat pun, kalau ada team effort apa salahnya. There are a lot of donkeys working here anyway, but they're friendly, down-to-earth, wiling to learn donkeys. But she will never show that she is bodoh, konon tau buat semua.. Whenever she needs help, she will email as if she's giving out instructions...even to people who are more senior than her.

So that's why bila dia slack sikit je, it sends my blood boiling like mad.

Tak payah cerita lagilah what happened pagi tadi...cukup la aku bagi backgrounder kenapa aku makin nyampah kat beruk ni right now.

To be continued lah ye....

goodbye bali hai

When I first started this blog, it was a place for me to vent, as I was going through a bad patch in my life. After a while it evolved to a bland online journal of sorts, a record of the things that I do, places that I visit. But now, it seems like I only update my blog when I'm pissed with people.

This blog has gotten from bad to worse!

Anyhow, it is already almost end of October and last weekend we closed off diving season in Tioman since monsoon is around the corner.

I have two more working weeks and then we are off to the place where I truly truly can find solace.... Mabul - Sipadan!

kera jongos

So earlier this evening mah Betch BBMed me, "Noks, ngape ko gaduh ngan si KJ pulak dah?"

And last night one of my girls Tweeted, "apasal kau gaduh ngan dia? Of all the tweets he has chosen to reply yours. I wonder..."

I even got a "WTF? Apo dah jadi?" from Brother Bear.

Yes people, I got dissed by the great Khairy Jamaluddin.

And the statements above showed the disbelief of my friends when in fact, KJ got pissed at me. I am in all honesty, a non-political working mother with children enough to fit an MPV, and whose favorite pastimes at home are cooking, Glee and CSI. To de-stress I go scuba diving.

Now what, pray tell, can a mere nobody do to piss KJ off. Honestly, not much.

It all started last night, when I read KJ's Tweet addressed to G Palanivel,

Khairykj Khairy Jamaluddin
Jadi Menteri terus bunuh bakat muda? Wassup @GPalanivel? RT @mkini_bm: Setiausaha Pemuda MIC digantung 12 bulan

And I thought OK, that's not a nice way to address someone of that rank. But hey, Twitter is where people can express their views, in ebonics or Thug-speak or even Rempit talk. Who cares.

Then I saw this on my timeline:

SangSapurba Wan Mohd Shahrir
Eloknya @Khairykj tak perlu campur urusan dalam MIC.

Khairykj Khairy Jamaluddin
@SangSapurba Saya Pengerusi Pemuda Barisan Nasional. Faham?

Ergh. By this time I was like.. ooohkkaaayyyyy... what's up with this guy? And in all honesty and out of my curiosity I'd like to know what Gawd almighty power does this Pengerusi Pemuda BN has that gives him the green light to sound like a prick. And so this ensued:

jasmeenz Mrs SeaDemon
So? RT @Khairykj @SangSapurba Saya Pengerusi Pemuda Barisan Nasional. Faham?

I suppose just by that one word SO? I pressed the wrong button. He went apeshit (no pun intended).

Khairykj Khairy Jamaluddin
@jasmeenz If you have to ask that question, you don't know anything about BN. Unless was a cheapshot out of hatred. Typical.

jasmeenz Mrs SeaDemon
@Khairykj My family are BN supporters so it can't be out of hatred. It could be out of disbelief at yr recent Tweets.

Khairykj Khairy Jamaluddin
@jasmeenz No, I doubt that. I know where you're coming from. Not difficult to figure that out.

jasmeenz Mrs SeaDemon
@Khairykj apasal you paranoid sangat ni lah!

It ended there.

What do you think? PARANOIA MUCH? I would very much think so. Those two Tweets are just lines of accusations that first, I hate him (or BN) and second I'm this manipulative person that has a hidden agenda. He also assumed that I did not know anything about BN, which is quite an insult. And to add to that, even after I said that my family members are BN supporters and that I was in disbelief over his Tweets, he refused to believe me!

I doubt that he's gonna read this blog, but if he does, when I asked SO? I was expecting him to give me an intelligent answer like, "Because the Pengerusi Pemuda BN can bla bla bla bla..."

Hey, I expect that from an Oxford and UCL grad! Aku ni pergi Jock school je kat US, mana la pandai nak berkata2 macam KJ.

I have a lot more to write but I don't want to waste my energy on such triviality. How do I feel? Initially I was pissed because of the way he replied to me but then again today as I stirred the Mee Bandung gravy in the pot an hour before iftar, I felt sad.

I felt sad because when I first read about KJ years ago, I thought here was the intelligent, Lelaki Melayu Terakhir in UMNO and maybe, just maybe, this will be the turning point in UMNO history. And even during the Sleepy Dwarf's era when KJ received a lot of bad rap, I gave him that slight benefit of the doubt.... So whenever people diss him in my mind I secretly wondered (oh but he's so well-learned, and intelligent there must be something good about him)

And today I am completely disillusioned. KJ is in fact, deep down, a REMPIT after all.

annoyed with self-centredness

Some friends you tolerate, some you love but tolerate their shortcomings, and some you just drift away from.

Over the years, friends will develop some traits that you dislike, but heck they're still your friends. And sometimes the trait has always been in them from the day you first know them but this trait will amplify itself as we all grow older.

I suppose my pet peeve (besides the sensitivity thing) is also people who are self-centred.

These people think that the world revolves around them. It's okay to THINK that way. But it's not okay to act it out.

So go ahead, you can have that imaginary throne up in your head. But please, in a decent communal surrounding, do think of others and their right to speak their minds and share their experiences.

the rule of sensitivity

I don't know whether I am grouped in the "sensitive" people category or not, but personally, I don't think I am.

Well sometimes I am, but I'd rather keep it to myself - all the sentaps, all the terasa hati, terkecil hati what not. Because I know things are said in jest, or at times when one is angry or sad or temporarily insane.

However, just as like everything else in this weird world, most sensitive people are NOT sensitive to other people's feelings. Here we are trying to act a certain way, hold our tongue lest we utter something offensive, watch our tone lest we inadvertently go a notch higher - just to please them and not hurt them. Then they turn their backs on us, and roll us over with bulldozers.

I hope I don't become like them.

a mother's day afternoon

So it's Mother's Day.

I've always celebrated with an SMS wish to my mother, and that's about it. Because most times, I am not with her during Mother's Day. And to my mother figure, my late Maktok, Mother's Day was never 'celebrated'.

But this year, more than ever I miss my late Maktok. The family has lost its grand matriarch and personally, I have lost my 'mother' - the person who brought me up and became my shoulder to cry on, in later years.

Things were never the same since her passing in 2008.

Boy it's a hot afternoon. The kids are away with my ex, my stepdaughters are here (Hana visiting over the weekend). The Diver is taking a nap, after Tweeting how depressed he has been after weeks of not going diving. Other than that, it has been quiet.

Quiet, and a bit melancholic.

sticks and stones

...may break my bones / But words will never hurt me

Now that's certainly not me. I'd take sticks and stones any day.

In my previous marriage, I was emotionally and later on physically abused, although for a short period of time. If you ask me today, if I remember being beaten up or not or whether it had hurt or not.... I can barely remember anything. I couldn't even remember where and how I was hit.

But I still remember the nasty things he said about me. Every consonant, every bit of it.

Like I said, I'd take sticks and stones any day. And on that note, I wish all Mothers out there a Happy Mother's Day. Love yourself, and then you'll be able to love others unconditionally :)

snobbery hobnobbery

Too much snobbery is going around these days. And funnily, it can take on many shapes and forms. Macam2 la.. ada food snobbery, brand snobbery, work snobbery, music snobbery even friendship snobbery. I know I'm guilty of some... and I hate to admit it, but as I get older I try to come to terms with it and discard all these negativities.

Well, probably my pet peeve is food snobbery. Don't you just hate it when someone says "Oh, I don't eat any leftovers, doesn't matter 1 day ke 2 days keee..." Now let me ask you something... TAK PERNAH MAKAN KAT KEDAI MAMAK KE?? HELLOO??? Last time I checked, this person thoroughly enjoys having roti canai at mamak shops. And please, if you're on a diet.. and you don't take rice or whatever.. don't go "Ewww.. Rice?? Oh I stay away from rice, it's fattening" while someone is enjoying their nasi campur with gusto. That's just plain rude. If you don't eat a certain type of food, and find is disgusting to your taste buds.. just SHUT THE FUCK UP WILL YA?

Oh, one more pet peeve (byk plak pet peeve aku nih) friendship snobbery. All these talk about oh I am friends of anak so and so or bini so and so Tan Sri, Tun, Dato' Seri bullshit drives me up the wall. I MIGHT be guilty of mentioning this sometimes but hey, most of the time it's just fact-stating and not a form of showing off. Some people will go on and on and on and namedrop whoever they could just to earn points and look good, and some even stoop so low and do this just to get into exclusive clubs. Pathetic.

Lest we go down the depressing road. Let me end with this snippet of Cik Kam, which relates to friendship snobbery, in a way. Kalau tak relevant pun korang baca je lah.

Cik Kam frantically waves at me, and shows a piece of flyer:

Me: Apa tu? Seminar?
Cik Kam: Ha.. kau tak nak gi ke Seminar on (something i can't recall) and kau tau tak yang jadi Speaker dia ni ha.. ni... Yang Mulia Raja beb... kau tak kenal ke ni, cuba tengok...
Me: Raja Nazrin ke? Raja Petra?
Cik Kam: Err.. Raja Mohamad.. apa ntah ni.. tak kesahla tapi dia Yang Mulia tau!! Yang Mulia!

Turned out it's just some obscure dude with a Raja title. And Cik Kam thought he was some kind of a celebrity royalty just because of the Yang Mulia.

Sekian.

ye lah yelahhhhh update la niiiii

Aku dah naik menyampah kalau orang mention the word BLOG. Hahaha. Yeah, whenever we have our usual makan and lepak sessions, The Diver dan juga Usual Suspects yang lain akan comment how that I HAVE BEEN COMPLETELY IGNORING MY BLOG.

I can completely put the blame on so many things, as usual. (Facebook, Twitter, work, diving, jaga laki aku, jaga anak, melantak, Cityville, the list goes on)

But yeah I have been completely ignoring this. Even as I typed "jazz..ma.." dalam history pun dah takde noks. The thing is that soooo many things have been happening and I don't even know where or how to even start writing.

Anyway, since love life aku dah tak scandalous lagi and since I did the entries on Cik Kam.. ramailah orang tanya2 bila aku nak cerita pasal Cik Kam lagi... kekeke.. Ramai peminat Cik Kam ni rupanya eh.

Aku just nak hapdet kat sini yang Cik Kam and I have become sort of "friends" la jugak. Sebabnya, aku rasa dia takut ngan aku selepas aku sembor dia banyak2 kali pasal banyak2 benda. Ada je dia nak tolong aku. So, aku memang kena jadi blue hippo dan friends la jugak ngan dia. Senang beb, segala benda aku taichi kat dia. Benda2 yang tak melibatkan otak la.

Free labour beb, siapa tak nak? Dahla department aku ni kekurangan hands and legs.

OKlah, nanti la nak fikir citer2 juicy dan kelakar Cik Kam nih.

Jgn cakap aku tak update blog ni yer. And sorry la bahasa Rempit sikit ni. I overloaded on carbs during lunch.