"and no, I don't dive, thank you very much..."

Since a few months back, I've been dragged to a few divers meet / teh tarik / makan / farewell sessions by The Diver. That's the danger of being a non-diver when your hubby is supposedly the "legend" (ni bukan aku atau dia yang cakap tapi owner sebuah dive shop di KL. Nanti ada orang cakap laki aku berlagak la apa la...). You get dragged to all these events, which I don't mind really. And no, hubby gue tak mati lagi, walaupun ada orang panggil dia legend.

I really don't mind you know, socialising with them. They're a friendly bunch, and usually a mix of races which is super cool. And once I start diving (if I ever start diving) I'd probably know more about it theoretically than any other newbie. Dah berbakul-bakul cerita diving aku dengar. Tanya la ikan apa yang poisonous, macam mana orang bagi lobster mabuk pakai shampoo, dive site mana yang best, how deep is DEEP, what nitrox does to you, etc.. etc. I've heard too many of that. I'm also amused at their dive names - ada yang cute, funny, macam-macam nama dalam dive forum tu. I told The Diver tadi after buka, "Sayang, if I dive my dive name will be Octopussy..Boleh tak?" He was not amused. hehehe.. Saja.. aku suka bagi dia bengang with my bangang jokes.

So what do I talk about when they talk about diving? Takde apa la, aku angguk-angguk, senyum-senyum, give out my megawatt smile, laugh at their jokes (they're usually a hilarious bunch) and smile lovingly at The Diver when aku dah tak larat nak dengar cerita lagi dah.

Apa lagi? Masa Diver's meet, I just smile, nod, and jadi camwhore. Orang lain tak tengok camera aku sorang je tengok camera. Nasib baik la aku ni orang corp comm, pandai berlakon.

Am I gonna start diving? I told The Diver, if he wants me to start - he's got to provide me with everything - and no, I don't want the chokia wetsuit. Kalau ada Gucci ke, Prada ke, exact copy pun takpe. Sebab aku tengok sangat tak stylish itu wetsuits... The Diver cakap most Japanese divers pakai fancy ones, maybe I should get Zaza to check out wetsuits in Japan :P Lagi satu, booties yang diorang pakai tu.. Aduh... aku dah la stumpy, nak pakai macam tu lagi... adehhh... rasa macam merayap je la... It's very 80s. Kalau aku tinggi macam Spena takpela nak pakai booties macam tu. Ee.. sangat merayap....Lepas tu hari tu in Tioman masa tengok The Diver and Spena buat shore dive.. I was like.. OMG you actually have to carry the tanks all the way to the beach and into the water and before going in Spena was sweating bullets already. Lagi la masa dah habis dive, nak jalan balik to dive center, all wet and heavy... I don't see me doing that at all. I'm so lembik lah. How?

Aku boleh imagine aku menangis-nangis dan menghentak-hentak kaki sambil mengangkut tank tu balik ke dive centre.

Or maybe I should just stick to being a non-diver. Everytime ada diver punya gathering they will ask me, "So are you with SeaDemon?"

"Yes, and NO, I DON'T DIVE." Usually followed by "I shop!" - tapi ini selalunya inaudible lah. Dalam hati je.

One day Sayang, I will dive. One fine day.