the coffee and I

The daily mantra over Skype/YM between my two colleagues and I almost daily, post lunch would be.

"Ngantuk. I need coffee."

or even

"Aku rasa macam nak kopi mahal" ( as opposed to Kak K's Nescafe murahan at the pantry)

The latter statement would result in us frantically finding other coffeeholics so that our SF Coffee order would total to RM50 (minimum order for delivery). We used to have one SF Coffee at our office but since the whole building is undergoing a major facelift, there are absolutely NO eateries or retail shops here. Major bummer.

When I was nineteen I was still allergic to it. I remember once during my first year in college I had a bad bout of coffee allergy. I was playing tour guide to some friends who were visiting Boston for the first time. We were at Harvard Square and it was summer and they all wanted to go to Au Bon Pain. And dammit the smell of coffee was just so overpowering and hypnotic. And I went okay, I am ADULT enough to drink this thing. So I had, for the first time ever, a whole plastic cup of Iced Cappuccino all to myself. And drank the whole thing as it was scorching hot at the moment and I was thirsty as hell.

As we were leaving Au Bon Pain, heading for some shops at Harvard Square, I felt slightly nauseated, following by a throbbing headache which became worse. Then, I started seeing spots. And it got so bad I had to apologize to my friends and told them that I had to go home :(

From that day forth, I stayed off coffee completely.

Adulthood came (read; I started working) and inadvertently someone would serve you coffee at certain points of time. I would take a small sip, and (im)politely leave the rest of the portion. And as I grew older (old ke??) and after I had quit smoking (in July 2008) I became more accustomed to drinking coffee. I did not realize when it happened, but it happened. I could finish half a cup of coffee without any detrimental side effects, accept for maybe once or twice (The Diver would argue this observation).

The worse came when I joined this GLC. I was quite a junkie. Well there's no such term as "quite" a junkie, it's either you are or you are not. Hell, I WAS a junkie. And I totally blame it on this company. For some weird reason, they didn't employ a proper tea lady, and for some reason, they would order flasks and flasks of SF Black Coffee and Latte at every freaking meeting!!!! Jgn cerita la pasal how much the company had to bear on the costs...

I was downing coffee like air sirap limau. Like there's no tomorrow. Until I realized, no it did not give me any headaches but I was belching like a 70-year old pakcik in a kain pelikat. Not cool, huh?

When I quit the GLC, I didn't completely quit coffee. I couldn't. The Diver will always tell me how bad coffee is, and to take it in moderation. Which I adhered to. I slowly weaned myself off it, but not completely.

Today, I don't take it daily. I try not to, at least. And if you ask me why I'm writing this, it's that I'm craving for it right this very minute!

I will ignore everyone when I'm having my cuppa :)
Pic courtesy of Fizri

bienvenue 2010, au revoir 2009!

In spite of the almost week-long holiday that I took, the final week of the year is always hectic, and this year, probably even more.

To sum it all up 2009 was a wonderful year, with a lot of changes in my life. And change is good, most of the times.

This was the year I got married to my BFF who's also the world's most wonderful lover. I try as much to be a good wife to The Diver, and so far things have been going great. Though we have our down times as well :) But in marriage, the more you give, the more you get. So I just hope the longer we're together the more we understand each other.

We also moved out of the Kg Warisan apartment to Bukit Setiawangsa. The main reason for the move is that not only are my kids getting bigger but also we want room when my stepchildren visit and it would be more conducive for them to sleep over. And oh, we receive a lot of guests too so the house is a better bet that the apartment obviously. I have to admit that having stayed in Kg Warisan for more than a DECADE, moving to a landed property has been fun but super-tiring!

And in 2009 too I took up scuba diving and got my Open Water Diver license, in Perhentian! Been hooked on it ever since and its such a great stress reliever! I'm so waiting for the Monsoon season to be over!!!!!

Finally, 2009 was also the year that my parents took me seriously. Hahahah! It's probably the year when they finally realize that I am adult enough to make my own decisions and also adult enough to advise them. I did gave both of them my piece of mind (albeit on paper) and I suppose I made sense. 2009 has seen a lot of shockers in our family and extended family so hopefully these shockers will not shock us again this year.

Well there are a lot of other things that happened in our lives in 2009 but I suppose those are the significant ones.

My wish for 2010?

For me to be a better person, to be more patient in handling issues, to be more eloquent in speaking, to be a better writer and a better wife, mother and friend.

For The Diver to get a humongous pay hike so that he can belanja me more! HAHAHAHA!! Just kidding, baby. Ok ok ... for The Diver to be happier when he's with me, and for him to be in the best of health so we can enjoy more years together.

To have more dive trips and overseas trip this year! Ok , this is a bit impossible to reconcile but I'll just give it a shot anyway. And maybe for my sister to join us in one of those overseas trip!!

Here's to 2010!!!

a death in december

Have you attended a funeral and thought, no.. I am not going to cry because the person who passed on does not have that much emotional impact over you.

And then you thought wrong and you ended up bawling as if that person meant the world.

Well I was at one of those funerals today. It was my cousin's funeral. A cousin whom I haven't seen in years. He was my uncle's eldest son. And this uncle's family has not been attending Raya gatherings, relative's weddings, or even my late grandmother's funeral. Yes, estranged would be the word to describe it.

My cousin died of drug overdose - a concoction of sleeping pills and God-knows-what. To make things worse, they found his decomposed body, alone in a hotel room, sitting up, with the TV and air-con on. Doctors estimate that he has been dead for more than 10 days. He was 26.

When the talkin was recited, it seemed that my mind went back to the days when I used to babysit this little innocent, baby cousin of mine. We were nine years apart, and his parents used to send him to my grandparents' house for free day care. And I was the one who had to help my aunt take care of him, put him to sleep, prepare his formula, watched cartoons with him.

And today, he's bundled up in white cloth, lined with plastic - the condition of his body too horrific for me to even describe here.

I sat behind his wife, near to his mother - they tried to hold back tears during the talkin but only ended up crying until their whole bodies shivered. And I did too, silently.

Goodbye, Azlan. I hope you did not die in vain.

My friends, dear readers, this is not the way to die. So stay off drugs. You think you're in control, but don't play with fire. I beg you.

it's the most wonderful timeeeeeee of the yearrrrr

Today is my Dad's birthday. Just a piece of useless trivia to start me writing again.

I've always told people that December is my favourite month, and NO.. not because it's my birthday (on the 27th) but because everything just seems soooo festive in December what with the Christmas decor, the school holidays, the New Year anticipation AND don't you just notice that people in the office tend to be more laid back in December? And especially THIS December because of the many public holidays.. I mean, what's a reason not to LOVE this month???!!

Well in spite of all that, December has been a long month for me, and it's only the 17th today. First off, we finally moved in to our new home this month, a move that has been long overdue to both The Diver and my hectic schedule. Well mostly HIS schedule. To make things more topsy turvy, our Bibik went on leave for more than a week right after we moved in. But she's back now and I have recovered my sanity somewhat.

The first two things I made in our new kitchen are these two:

Banana Bread & Butter Pudding

Roast Chicken with Lotsa Veggies

I am elated beyond words that tomorrow's a public holiday and so is every Friday in the next couple of weeks. Didn't have much planned as we still need to fix a few things at the house and of course, decorate the Christmas tree. We left the ornaments at our Kg Warisan home, so for now we only have lights for the tree. (note to self: drop by Kg Warisan to pickup ornaments tomorrow!!!)

The Diver and I will be going to our usually monthly respite from office stress - The Comedy Club thingy at Zouk tonight, and looking forward to that. For those of you who haven't been to the Kuala Lumpur Comedy Club, I highly encourage you all to go, it's just a helluva blast.

My parents, my brother and Medina are in Japan right now visiting our lovely sister, Zaza and brother outlaw, Kazu-san. Medina seems to be OK with the wintry weather except for the occasional nosebleeds. They've been there for 5 days and coming back on Saturday.
Zaza, I ciloked your pics :)

And on the 26th, we'll be having a post-Christmas do at Gombak4Life's home in where else but Gombak County...Ah! So many things to look forward for....

Happy December y'all and joy to the world!

art imitating life, or vice versa?

Right now, as I'm sitting here at the office while waiting for The Diver to pick me up (gosh, I'm just too lazy to drive meself to work nowadays!), I'm reminded of the Malay dramas that my grandma and aunts used to watch on TV.

You know, the evil stepmothers, the cheating boyfriend, the deadbeat husband, the GRO wife, the wicked mother in law, the weepy dumped wife, the secretary-boss affair, the screaming bimbo catfights... all those stereotypes you can ever think of, is there in the Drama Melayu.

In my teens and twenties, I'd go... Man!!! All these are crap that some overly emotional jilted scriptwriter conjured up in his/her screwed up brain. I didn't know that in adulthood, these Drama Melayu scenarios will pop in your life as often as The Diver goes to the toilet after whacking sambal belachan.

As I grow older, nothing shocks me anymore. I'm sure most of you agree on this statement.

When I was in the twenties, life was such a euphoric phase of seeking perfection. And at that age, especially in my early twenties, I thought that adulthood was simply, people being ADULTS.

But boy, was I wrong.

In our lives today, scenes of Drama Melayu pops up every now and then. I sometimes stop to think, "I thought these things only happen in movies." And now I believe that art does, in a strange and perverted way, imitate life.

a note to polygamists

I personally do not think a man can ever be fair when he marries more than one.

Yes, in the Qur'an it says that polygamy is allowed, but many ignore the BIG ASS DISCLAIMER that comes with it. It says that you are only allowed to marry more than one if you can be fair upon your wives. The question is, can mere mortals living in the 21st century ever be fair to two wives (or more)? My answer would be HELL NO.

Oh well, to each his own.

The past couple of months have been rather psychologically stressing me out. Hence the need for the dive trips to calm me down. At times, I stepped out of myself and float up and look at the bigger picture. No, it has nothing to do with my marriage or The Diver.

It has something to do with polygamy and a family member. Let's just say that I am happy for my family if they're happy with the path that they've chosen. But, an advice to polygamists and wannabes, if you have the balls to marry another, please also have the balls to tell your wife that you've married or are going to marry. Be a man for God's sake! I once told a raging abusive ex-husband that I was not in love with him anymore, and that I was in love with another person.

He could've killed me at that very moment, but yes dear readers, I HAD THE BALLS TO DO IT. That's all that matters.

Now this polygamy issue in my family has caused severe distress to some parties and awkwardness to some, and this all stems out of a marriage that was kept secret. You don't know what trouble you give people ... it's so menyusahkan.

I picked out a new journal for 2010 at MPH the other day (which The Diver paid for, thank you!) - I was thinking of a Moleskine initially but settled with this from Peter Pauper, it has more meaning in life now:

double whammy tioman weekend!

Monsoon diving.

That was what we did last weekend in Tioman. Being an avid diver, The Diver loves it because according to him, you get to see bigger stuff. And yes we did see a big reef cuttlefish. And another group saw a frikkin whale shark too! But aside from that, I also suffered a gash on my knee while climbing up the jetty stairs after surfacing during the night dive.

Sakit!!!!!

The Diver kata .. "Biasalah.. Diver..." apa2 injury that I sustained semuanya dia cakap macam tu... "Biasalah... Diver..." Dulu he was a bit sympathetic la... sekarang mungkin dia nak train aku jadi Commando...maybe by the time I hit 40 boleh masuk askar...

And oh, I also did my first ever night dive last Saturday. It was scary cuz viz was super teruk but fun nonetheless.

I did the unthinkable before we left Tioman last week, I told The Diver, "Jom diving lagi next week?"

Remind me to never ask that question in November, December or January next time please!

And so we left all our dive equipment there at the dive centre and decided to return again this weekend.....

For more monsoon diving! The weather's gonna be crappy, the sea is gonna be choppy, and The Diver has bought me a seasick band (I pray to God it works)... and we are off to Mersing again, tonight to catch tomorrow morning's ferry to Tioman!

God speed, I told myself. And please dear Sea, be kind to me....

And these pics were from last weekend...
This ugly mama posed for us... and we got real up close and personal...


The Diver and I, and Tioman in good weather

My stepdaughter Farhanah, who's sitting for her SPM very soon!

My first night dive. Entah apa yang aku suluh. Viz was bad!


We found this guy during our night dive. It ran away as soon as I thought of Chilli Crabs.