the only good pink thing right now is sirap bandung

"Siti rasa bangga la setelah menang dalam pilihanraya...yang lain-lain tu biarlah rahsia..." Yes, she and Siti probably possess the same IQ level.

I am going to bertanding in the next General Election.

I just need to add more blond streaks, join Puteri UMNO (I might be over the age limit, can someone check? tapi kalau gi botox sikit mesti boleh tukar umur), lose another 4 kgs, screw one or two Datuks, bat my false eyelashes at KJ, get a boob job (yes SD, this is the reason WHYYYY) and say this during my campaign:

"Assalamualaikum, nama saya Datuk so-and-so, undilah Barisan Nasional. BYEEE!!!!"

Makcik in green: "Did she ever finish high school?"

Because in a freaking nutshell, that was what Noraini Ahmad, Ketua Bimbo Pink Kaler, could muster in her campaign speeches in the last General Election. My sister, Zaza, who was back from Japan for her break had the privilege to see Noraini make a fool out of herself in March.

That was all Noraini could say. Vote for me, vote BN. Itu pun orang tak dengar, because my sister said suara dia macam semut.

I'm a very forgiving person. If you're an idiot, you can make up for it in a lot of ways. Trust me ok, I'm not that smart but I have a lot of defence mechanisms that I use in the office, some people think I'm a genius.

Guy in red baju melayu: "Oh boy, all my years of hard work serving the community and here I am standing next to this loser in pink yang tak pernah balik kampung. What an insult."

Ms Noraini, maybe you can brush up on your people skills for a start. I was there when the election results were announced for her constituency, Parit Sulong. Everyone was all edgy, knowing that the Opposition was making headway in certain states. Oh yeah she was edgy too, edgy and on the phone and SMSing and so oblivious of the fact that SHE is one of the electoral candidates. Kampungfolks were looking at her, her scrawny figure in baju kurung, tudung-clad, porcelain complexion. She was all pretty-pretty and so not ready to become the MP for Parit Sulong.

When the results were announced, BN supporters cheered, everyone in the school hall hugged each other, patted each other's backs, some shed tears. My mother personally thanked everyone who helped with the campaigning -for their time, support, blood, sweat and tears. But Ms Noraini was just there shaking hands, lending out a fake-ass smile. I just looked at her in disbelief. Not a word of thanks to her supporters. This here, is the Puteri UMNO President, behaving like an imbecile. She absolutely has no people skills, no sense of etiquette and .... basically she has no common sense at all.

And lo and behold, Pak Lah made her Deputy Minister of Human Resources. Like, hello????? Aku rasa lagi baik letak Paris Hilton. At least she pretends to act more stupid than she actually is, and make tons of dough out of that.

Thank god I'm not the only one who thinks Noraini's an idiot. A better read would be here.

And Noraini also said this in his speech during last year's UMNO General Assembly:

"Justeru, suka Puteri menyarankan supaya diwujudkan garis panduan lebih jelas mengenai apa yang boleh dan tidak boleh disiarkan menerusi laman web serta laman blog dengan satu peraturan ditetapkan mengenai tindakan tegas yang boleh diambil jika melanggar peraturan berkenaan."

WHAT THE....???

And if you read the whole text of the speech, she was taking every simplistic solution to every issue there is in this country. Kids go missing, blame the parents. Use every act there is on the face of the earth ISA, OSA, apekebendanya act entah to combat rumor-mongering. Stop TV stations from promoting reality TV shows that ask viewers to SMS - that is unethical. That's Noraini in a nutshell for you.

Well my take on all this is: SCRAP THE WHOLE PUTERI UMNO THINGY. If we do not have enough intelligent women to be in this organisation, why waste the effort, time and money.

Will Puteri UMNO just close shop already!