It's pathetic how sparse my updates have been in 2009. Honestly, I put the blame entirely on Facebook because that's a dangerous addiction that I've completely succumbed to. Tak cukup dengan Facebooking, updating status, commenting on people's status and photos - I'm also hooked on Pet Society and Restaurant City. And ini semua salah si Aiz (hahahah!!!).
Anyway, The Diver was away last week in Sipadan and yesterday, after a day arriving from Tawau he was off to Lumut for work. I have this thing when The Diver is away, I will become emotional, and hypersensitive tak tentu arah. And then I start seeking solace on comfort foods, or anything that is within my reach, in this case today on Kartika Sari's Brownies and Pisang Molen that I brought back from Bandung.
Well anyway, that's not my point.
My point is, there is a confession that I have to make.
The Diver and I have been together for more than a year. And usually after a year, relationships start to you know, slow down a bit, and you would want your own "space" (whatever that means). But this time around, it's not like that. And we see each other almost every day, the most we've been away was just for his Sipadan trip, ie, 5 friggin' days.
It hurts to be away from him, and it hurts more even after our more than a year relationship. It seems that I am more dependent on him now than I ever was. I need him more than ever, and can't seem to do without him. I'm becoming Miss Dependent and I love it. I feel all good and flowery and bubbly and too jiwang maybe for my own friends to take. And that scares the heck out of me.
Am I anal? Am I just psycho for feeling this way? Am I just scared of feeling good, feeling loved just because I was so used to a crappy marriage and shitty relationships before?
Let's just leave those unanswered, for now.
11 comments:
kak jazzy, I heart your post. it's the same for me this time around. and imagine, the longest we're apart was 3 weeks (last month) because I had to travel for work. and let me tell you, it.ain't. fun. at. all!
hugs.
My friggin' Sipadan trip???
You went off to Bandung shopping!!!
I love you too! And I fell ill in Sipadan because it was difficult for me to sleep without you by my side :(
Hi Jade, I'm glad someone can understand how I'm feeling right now. Hahahah... but hopefully I can snap out of it. It's not actually as bad as what I've written, but at times it is! Thanks :)
SD, hey, I wanted to go Sipadan too :( I wanna go both ma.. but you wanted me to schedule the trip then.. takpelah..
i guess you should just enjoy the moment... don't think of it too much... best wishes :D
Eeeeiiiii jiwang, jiwang, jiwang...!
Tapi jiwanglah best, kan?
best apa jauh2 sekali sekala. bila jumpa balik tu cam newlyweds plak. whatever that means.
Hey cookie, yeah it just sometimes get to me.. when I least expect it..
Dayang,hahah jiwang bodoh...!!!
ummi, ya la macam newlyweds.. tapi i memang newlywed pun :)
Ahh SD's comment is so sweet!
U have a good thing going there..it's good to have tht jiwang feeling and hopefully u guys will be jiwang forever..hehehe
chics, he's probably the sweetest guy I've ever met (but he has his not so sweet streak too ok).. heheh
cosmic gurl, hahahah I hope we stay jiwang forever.. macam orang cakap, orang tua bercinta.. (buruk)!!!!
Post a Comment