penipu

This might come as a surprise to you but I used to go out with a married man.

It was a very dark chapter in my life and I am honestly not proud of it. In the 7 years I was married to an abusive, angry, lazy man, I never once cheated on him. I never once looked at a guy and even THOUGHT of having an affair. Even when I was so unloved and so neglected. Never once.

But at the end of my marriage, I went out with a married man and my reputation was tarnished forever (more on my reputation in another post). It happened right before my divorce. Let's just call him Lip Service. See, because I have been stupidly loyal throughout my marriage, the decision for me to go out with Lip Service was made after he actually said he loved me, because I don't simply GO OUT with people. A promise of marriage was made, and then I finally decided that yes, I shall bear the brunt of being The Other Woman, I shall sacrifice and wait for Lip Service to find the "right time" (and I will always tell him that there will never be a RIGHT time) to tell his wife of our relationship and hopefully she will understand and they will get a divorce and we will get married and live happily ever after.

I was not naive. I went into the relationship knowing that it's a 50-50 sing-or-float thing (ek eleh, sink-or-float lah... sorry for the typo). After over a year of clandestine meetings, SMSes, lunches, dinners, tete-a-tete's, I could smell that he was a bit too slow for my own good.

His "I love you's" were uttered too many times, but just not enough. I was heavily involved with him, I helped him conceptualize his business, which was supposed to be an 'avenue' for us to get married (I didn't see the logic behind it at all, but he did) and I was getting way too deep.

Now after 7 years of shit, I was able to rationalize things better. I decided to pull out from the relationship. There were no formal break-ups, no teary farewells - I just faded away. And at that point, he knew that whatever words that came-up from his mouth meant jack shit to me. He knew. Despite his reassurances, I decided to walk away.

The funny thing is, when I was going through all that, The Diver was always there for me emotionally, as a friend. We both sometimes talk to each other about our relationships, and how they're going to end. We laughed, we joked, we bitched. And I'm glad we did all that, because now we completely understand and most importantly value each other so much. *I LOVE YOU DADDYKINS* (iklan jap).

That was why I got a bit pissed when I found out recently that Lip Service's wife thought that him and I were only a fling. It was nothing serious, just a stupid affair that Lip Service dabbled in, probably a mid-life crisis thing. I was pissed, but not surprised, really. In spite of all those talks about marriage, about expanding the business, about spending the rest of our lives together and also he admitted to CONFESSING to his wife of his love for ME, in the end they were all lies. So now I have only one thing to say to him... UP YOURS!