The Diver calls this a period of "rediscovering each other". Of which I totally agree. Everything seems to be better between us, the conversations, the quiet times, the laughs, and the things that can't be mentioned here.
But having said all that, I wish I can forget and ignore, but what happened was so bad that it leaves a permanent scar. The extent of the damage is irreversible - friendships lost, family ties severed, trusts breached in the worst manner.
It's still December. It's still two-thousand-fucking-fourteen. I give myself till end January to be less bitter and sceptical. And then what happens? And then I don't fucking know.
In spite of the expletives above, things have been going great between The Diver and I. We know why we can't leave each other, we know why we still need each other and most importantly he knew where he went wrong.
We sleep holding hands.
We are more in love now that we were ever before.
But I am prepared for anything. Anything can happen and if it happens again I will not be very forgiving.
My life now is a roller coaster of emotions. Days and days of highs and lows. I try not to write or even think about the future because the future to me is just too unimaginable. I know she's lurking there, somewhere in the shadows, just waiting.
Now is truly the best of times, and the worst of times.
2 comments:
It's hard regaining someones trust after its been lost and i don't think it will ever be.
I guess with love you will have to accept what you have and live with the ugliness that was tucked back in the darkness of your memory.
I just hope it gets better in time, Walker.
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