me no spik englis

With two events coming up in less than a week, and a pre-planned weekend in Tioman coming up, I barely have time to breathe at the office. But I HAVE to write this because I'm soooooo sick of getting resumes/calls for interships from Mass Comm students who speak worse English than my 7 year old.

Every day, I'm just so appalled at the deteriorating command of English that of our Malay grads. It's amazingly appalling. And I don't know how or why this has become so bad.

I mean, if you say that these grads come from a "kampung" background, I really beg to differ. I come from a not-so-kampung kampung but my primary school friends came from very diverse backgrounds, some even from the lower income group. And we can speak English well because our English teacher, Mrs Tan made us SPEAK English in English classes. So yes, I believe teachers do play an important role in this. Also, our English teacher speaks impeccable English, with proper grammar... unlike English teachers nowadays.

And I hate it when Malays have this stupid notion that when you speak English it makes you less Malay. Bukak la mata sikit... if you work in a multinational company, how are you suppose to climb the corporate ladder when all you can say is "Watper beb? Katner beb?".

And nak kata these grads are SOOOOO excellent in Malay pun tak jugak. When they speak in Malay, they sound like minah / mat rempits. And to make it worse, they won't event ATTEMPT to speak English. I've dealt with so many Chinese suppliers/business partners or whatever, and their English is berterabur as well, but they will just bulldoze and speak as long as the other party can understand what they're saying, they're fine.

I've lost my point in writing this because I've digressed too much. I've just had it with our local Malay grads... the main reason why I'm writing this post is to share with you a snippet of a resume that was sent to me by a UPM Communications student who's majoring in Corporate Communications, in her third year. She's applying for an intership post in my department:

"DIRI SAYA
Saya adalah seorang yang rajin dan bermotivasi dalam mencapai matlamat yang saya inginkan. Saya juga seorang yang mudah dibawa berbincang dan mempunyai kemahiran berinteraksi dengan pelbagai pihak. Ini bersesuaian dengan pengkhususan saya di dalam bidang Komunikasi Korporat. Untuk mencapai kejayaan kita perlu mempunyai pegangan dan ayat ini adalah pendorong saya selama ini “ do or do not, no try-try”."

OUCH.

sometimes i so want to have my own torture chamber for idiots like these

This is a test. Cuba korang baca e-mail bawah ni. Paham tak?

Greetings all,

This year, instead of traditional printed cards, we have opted to go with an environmentally-friendly way to send festive wishes to our friends, business associates and clients. Instead of the traditional paper greeting cards, you can now send e-cards to them! Simply click on this link http://www.xxxx and you’re able to send wishes for the upcoming Chinese New Year.

Since this is new to us, there are quite of a few things that need to be ironed out so please let Rhonda (bukan nama sebenar) and I know should you encounter any glitches.

Please use only the company email addresses (don’t use your Gmail or Yahoo) in the “Sender” box.

Have fun sending out your e-cards and thank you for helping us reduce carbon footprint!

I sent out this email two weeks back to everyone in the company. And this morning sorang Nyonya yang terkenal dengan memakai baju jinjang-joe as office attire dan juga wedding orang Melayu, came to my room and asked,

"Can I have the Chinese New Year cards?"

Nak terbelahak aku masa tu sebab tengah minum teh ais, "Didn't you get my email?" I said.

"Yes I did, but some people want real cards."

Cipet.

Tak paham ke apa yang aku tulis kat atas tu? Was my e-mail unclear or dia yang blur?

Tu je lah nak vent out. Aku memang takde cerita sensasi.

welcoming the new year

Dear 2009,

I hope you will be good to me. 2008 was a good one, but I'm sure you can be better. 2007 was a roller coaster of extreme shittiness and extreme happiness, so 2007 has its ups and downs. 2008 was more stable - in all aspects of my life.

What's good about 2007 is that that was the year that I first met The Diver. Albeit only as friends at first, I finally met this awesome blogwriter whose blog I frequent nightly before I go to bed. That was also the year I was officially divorced, I'd rather call it emancipated - which was good because after all those years of pent-up anger, verbal and physical abuses I managed to free myself from a life that's not worth living. In 2007 too I was going out with one Mr Lip Service who's supposed to take care of me and the kids, someone who promised me the world. It's good that I took everything with a pinch of salt. Somehow 7 years of bad marriage taught me how to not believe.

In early 2008, in fact on 1st January 2008 I let myself free of all the feelings for Mr Lip Service. I could've stayed but I am through with all this drama and fighting and breaking people's hearts. Plus Mr Lip Service had no balls. I shall not elaborate further.

A lot of people say that The Diver and I have a perfect relationship, but in truth all relationships have their own flaws. We have been happy in 2008, and we wish to be happier in 2009. I wish for The Diver to be less temperamental.. and I hope that I can be less picky and moody. Yes I do pick on him on certain days :P But that's only because I love him. Heheh. Make sense ke?

Last year I also had tons of fun with my friends, new and old ones. It's great when you have common friends with your partner - there's no such thing as "your" friends and "my" friends. They're all OUR friends. And both The Diver and I love them to death.

So 2009, I hope you will be awesome to all of us.

Love,
JZ

my random shopaholic anecdote

Good stuff, bad English.

In this past month, I've been to Jakel 3 times. Yup, three freakin' times. Oh sudah tentu bukan with The Diver... well once, with The Diver, tu pun lepas dia kenyang makan nasi lemak Tanglin, so he was happy enough to drive me there. The two times I went was with my partners in crime la, Pretty Zienta and cuppacakes. In fact, last Friday afternoon after our free lunch-cum-meeting at Concorde's Melting Pot we went straight there. (Agak kantoi kalau orang ofis baca blog aku ni, but what the heck)

I have a lotta respect for this Jakel sales people. Now this is the customer service that most retail outlets should emulate, they will consult you on the type of colours, materials, etc.. for whatever baju that you want to make. And they're quite knowledgeable I can tell you that.

But the best thing is, the salesgirls really know how to sell, and I mean SELL. They'll say such thing as, "Kak, kain ni bagus kak, chiffon pelangi, akak putih OK pakai macam ni" or "Saya potong eh kain ni kak, pakai credit card pun boleh...." or even "Kak, this one bestseller kak - last few metres je ni... nak habis dah ni kak lepas ni takde pattern macam ni" or.. "Tak beli pun takpe kak, saya nak tunjuk je..."

They even have suave floor managers that act as "fluffers" - their floor managers are usually guys in their early 30s, with Beckam-like hair, Raoul-like shirt yang probably dia beli kat Jalan TAR and jeans that will sweet talk the garangest of makciks into buying cloths that they don't even need..... Best of all, these fluffers can even give you discounts. Cool.

But the one that got me was this:

I was looking at this REALLY nice chiffon new arrival with geometric patterns... and was really contemplating on buying. But they're a bit on the pricey side la RM265 or something... So I told the salesgirl, "Takpelah dik, lain kali..." She kept on pestering me to buy, and finally said, "Kak, nanti malam tidur termimpi-mimpi kak..."

Now THAT really got me. Sekarang aku tidur tiap2 malam either mimpi kain tu or the dress that I saw at Ikano which is an exact replica of one that is RM100 more expensive at Great Eastern Mall. Heheh...

To The Diver: jangan lupa beli itu dress OK. Thanking you in advance.

Chow Kit and my jagung rebus

Last night The Diver and I went to buy groceries at the Chow Kit market. Yes, some of you might gasp... but it sure beats lining up at Tesco's fish and seafood section to get your fish gutted and cleaned.

We only go to Chow Kit at night, usually around midnight - parking's quite easy and best of all, I love the colorful characters that you can see around the area. For instance, we saw two prostitutes in full costume buying their vegetables and belacans, etc... You can also meet a Bangla that speaks Malay with an Indonesian accent... etc... Benda2 macam tu takde kat Tesco... or Giant.. or Carrefour.... And you'll get hit left and right by shopping carts yang ditolak oleh Ah Soh2 and Makcik2 yang kiasu je kat hypermarkets macam tu. Shit I hate being hit by shopping carts.

When we were done with our shopping, I told The Diver that I wanted to buy the jagung rebus from an Indon lady in front of the sundry shop. Wanna know why? It's not so much that I want to eat the jagung la... but it just reminded me of my trips to the wet market in Batu Pahat with my late maktok. When I was a kid I will always buy jagung rebus everytime we go to the market. You know, the unpretentious jagung rebus - no butter, no salt, just naturally sweet jagung....

I really miss my late Maktok. She passed away on 27th July 2008. Tetiba macam sedih, hence the posting.

back in the saddle

Hello peeps, I'm back at my old job. After a 5-month sabbatical (well I actually worked for a couple of months at another company but let's not go there) I finally decided to go back to where I left. And the funny thing is, it was as if I never left at all!

For instance yesterday was my first at work. The receptionist handed me some mails that came in for me (I wondered how much mail she had to throw away during the 5 months I was gone) as soon as I came in the office.

Then, at mid morning someone from an exhibition company called me up to ask me a few things about the company. All this before I even signed my job acceptance letter.

And my e-mail address is still on the system, MIS never deleted my email address. Maybe they knew I was coming back to them :P

And The Diver is no longer The Diver. Well at least I think it's such a misnomer to call him that. He started his 9 to 5 yesterday too (what a freak coincidence that was!) at an oil & gas outfit in Damansara. He looked so cute in his office attire, though, because I only see him in his dive t-shirts almost all the time. It also gives me an excuse to go to Pavilion and shop for office clothes for him (Komar!!!! Here I come!!)....

It's kinda nice to be in that same old routine again, even my bowel movements have behaved normally.

But sadly no more late weeknights with the usual suspects.... (I may have spoken too soon on this!)

handbags for sale (part 2)

I have two handbags up for grabs.

Coach Poppy Medium Hobo (RM159) - exact replica, a quintessential daytime bag. This one was a big craze when it was released in Spring 2006. VERY LIMITED.






Celine Red Sling Bag (RM250) - it has an optional sling, so you can either hand carry or use it as a sling bag. Quite roomy, perfect for office.



Those interested can either leave a message on this blog or SMS me at 013 218 5777.