random, but deep, thoughts on my 33rd birthday

Would you rather someone say "I Love You" or "I Am In Love With You"?

Someone once told me, "I love her, but I am in LOVE with you". And he said it with such passion, such conviction that I thought that it meant he loved me more. Up to this very day, I don't even know but I live every day believing that. Like a kid believing in Santa Claus.

A bit too much info for my blog, but fck it, it's my birthday I just needed a bit of drama queen madness in here.

But anyway, it's 30 minutes past midnight. I had a nice birthday-prelude lunch of scrumptious beef nachos and margaritas with you-know-who and later on a spanking good birthday-eve time at Havana with Brother Bear (GemGem Gem), Ayu and Mr Greystreaks. And muchas gracias Senor SeaDemon for a birthday post on his blog. Bless you.

Good nite, and tomorrow I shall wake up to be officially 33 years old.

And GemGem, I still don't think I am pruh-mis-kyoo-uhs.

what is zombie kampung pisang?

I hope these satisfy y'all's curiosity... Can also be "I Am Legend" vampires, no?

Anyway, these are from the makan2 session at my place the other day. After a hefty dinner of beef stew, beef bacon pasta and lamb chops, Dalina treated us to her infamous "egg-white facial".

The guys at Secret Recipe made that typo...

I'll let you in to one of the secret ingredients in my beef stew... The rest of the secret ingredients are of course SECRET!!!!!

Thanks to Spena for the pix below:



And peeps, I have gained 4 kgs since Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Yeay!

little-miss-sad-no-more

A lot of people came up to me after the Big D and offered help. Emotional mostly. Some said that I can count on them if I needed to fix a lightbulb and other things of that nature. None financially though.

Although I was very independent before the Big D, the idea of not having the "Man of the House" terrified me at times. Not all the time, but I'd get spurts of anxiety before bed - "What if someone breaks in the house? What if I get really sick and there's no one to drive me to the hospital?" I had no one. I was devastated. But then I thought... Kalau macam tu, you don't need a man, you just need a guard dog and a taxi driver. Betul tak?

And now four months into being single again, I'm loving life. Yes I still do get my panic attacks at times. But fundamentally, I'm happy. I'm happy because I have shed off all the guilt of living every day wondering if God will punish me for harboring ill feelings towards my (then) hubby. And...

I'm happy because I am a much better mother now than who I was 6 months back.

I'm happy because I can share my feelings with people that make me feel appreciated.

I'm happy that I can have my friends over and binge and become zombie kampung pisang.

I'm happy because I have my life back.

I'm happy because someone is there to make me laugh my heart out.

And I'm happy to have someone that cares for me enough to pick me up when I was abysmally down in the dumps.

i am random, that's what i am

This post is so random. I'm just trying to distract a few people.

A Japanese dinner with Brother Bear and Ayu. The Cod Teriyaki at MO's Wasabi Bistro was delish. At the back is Brother Bear's Japanese Hamburger. Dozo dozo!

Kata tak nak beli bag lagi! Errr....sho' nuff, the devil made me do it!

The most comfiest thing to wear in bed. Nothing comes between me and my Calvins.

I took a picture of Ali with all the Christmas decor at the mall...
...only to have him say later, "Ma, that was embarassing! Please don't do that again!". First few signs of growing up. He's only 6, by the way.

Do not watch the AFC before bed. Chances are you'll be rummaging the fridge at midnight. I made that mistake last nite.

Only in Batu Pahat peeps (correct me if I'm wrong) - Roibo's Jasmine Pearl Milk Tea. Zaza I know you're drooling right now.

Don't you just love December? With the weather right now you can wear cardigans and feel all warm n toasty. And have one of them hot chocs with marshmallows. *singing* I'mmmmm dreaming of a whittttteeee Christmassssss *singing*

Lunch is always the highlight of the day. With looney friends like these...

I just put up a mini water fountain last week, next to my money plant. So now it's prosperity (plant and two gold rocks) and tranquility. Breathe in... breathe out...

A tip: When your kids act up, take a picture of them, and then show them how awful they look when they sulk. It worked with mine.

You know you're old and don't give a rat's ass about how you look when you have enough confidence to take a picture of yourself first thing in the morning when you wake up.

I've been wearing a rose quartz bracelet recently. Oh you guys know what rose quartz is for! Seems to work like a charm ;)

Thank you for sticking through my randomness.

spilling it out

Dear Thebo72 (or the adorable Aiz),

Thank you for thinking long and hard about my Facebook question. When I was in school, I wanted to grow up to be like you - happy, talented and popular. (sidetrack jap). And yes, I took your advice.

sentence taken out* And it's like this heavy burden has been lifted off my chest. I just want to say, no matter how old I am now, I sentence taken out*

Thank you for that nudge, that push, that very inspirational entry. (and not forgetting the artistic shots! absolutely brill!)

Love ya
JZ

*I just had to take out a few things. Too sappy. At time of writing I was in a New York state of mind. Aiz, I hope you read it before it was all taken out... Hahah!

Siapa2 yang tak sempat baca tu. Je suis désolé.

tagged by theta

1. Name one person who made you laugh last night.
A friend who never fail to make me laugh everytime i see or talk to him.

2. What were you doing at 0800?
Still in bed hitting the snooze button.

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Having lunch at Selaseh, Ampang Park

4. What happened to you in 2006?
I fell in love.

5. What was the last thing you said out loud?
Nah, makan je ni!

6. How many beverages did you have today?
Two - water and lime juice.

7. What color is your hairbrush?
Black.

8. What was the last thing you paid for?
5 CDs over lunch break. Dammit!

9. Where were you last night?
Uh-oh. Do I really have to answer this?

10. What color is your front door?
Brown.

11. Where do you keep your change?
It's all around, man! Literally!

12. What’s the weather like today?
Stinky Malaysian weather.

13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor?
Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey.

14. What excites you?
Money. And sex. Hahahahahahahahha!

15. Do you want to cut your hair?
No.

16. Are you over the age of 25?
Yes, and proud of it.

17. Do you talk a lot?
Only when induced.

18. Do you watch the O.C.?
You think I'm that shallow?

19. Do you know anyone named Steven?
Yes, and he is a model!

20. Do you make up your own words?
I was born to make up words.

21. Are you a jealous person?
YES. YES. YES.

22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’.
Ayu!

23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’.
Khazl**n.

24. Who’s the first person on your received call list?
My boss' PA. Damn, I need to go out more.

25. What does the last text message you received say?
Mtg.

26. Do you chew on your straw?
Nope.

27. Do you have curly hair?
Hell, no.

28. Where’s the next place you’re going to?
Batu Pahat, Johor.

29. Who’s the rudest person in your life?
The guy who cut in front of me at the airport queue. He was so rude I actually had to scream : "Can you f*cking believe this???" Imagine persian-kitty me saying that???

30. What was the last thing you ate?
Veggie soup.

31. Will you get married in the future?
I hope so. I have faith.

32. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks?
Would you believe it if I said I haven't seen one in the past month???

33. Is there anyone you like right now?
Yes. And he's not the person that I love.

34. When was the last time you did the dishes?
Last night.

35. Are you currently depressed?
No, but try asking me this three weeks back.

36. Did you cry today?
At 2 am last nite my eyes were watery.

37. Why did you answer and post this?
Because Theta made me do it and I just need a distraction.

38. Tag 5 people who would do this survey.
Dayang, Spena, Guile, Zaza and SeaDemon?

dating the single mom

To anyone out there who's thinking of going out with a single mom, think again. And again. The game is just not the same.

We've been there, we've done that. We're so jaded and seasoned sometimes I think the reason why we agree to go on a date with someone is that we just need a punching bag. Oh yeah, I just realised that on a date, my conversation will be riddled with sarcasm and things like "why-the-heck-do-you-wanna-go-out-with-me in the first place" questions.

And please, spare me the surprises. Spontaneity and spur of the moment deals may be romantic but with three kids, realistic arrangements maybe more... REALISTIC. I can't just waltz to the next midnight show with you any day of the week. You can't just call me up at 5.30pm and expect me to have dinner with you at 7.00! Believe me, if I could, I would.

And then there's the reservation thingy. We'll just go, hey, let's not try to like this guy so much because he ain't seen nothing yet. We may look like we're vulnerable, but we're actually not. I may look and act like your persian kitty, but you know I'm a tigress deep down.

You know when you were younger you'll have a checklist of the things that you like in a guy when you go out with him? Cute, check. Rich, check. Sense of humor, check. Tight ass, check. For me personally, it's a checklist of negativities. I find faults, I find defects. Loser, check. H*rny toad, check. Fake-ass, check. I can smell it from a mile away and as the saying goes, "There is no fooling a single mother."

Having said all that, it's not hard to date a single mom at all. Just leave your player moves at the door, and be your true, honest self. Because unlike single hot chicks, us yummy mummies are in no rush and if it doesn't work out, we're cool enough to be your friends.

And a MAJOR plus point for dating a single mom - "a woman who's become a mother knows what real, boundless love feels like - she's better capable of giving it too."

And it wasn't me who said that OK :)