the day my grandma died

It was Sunday, 27th July 2008 - a little after 3 pm. And it was my younger brother and my auntie's birthday. I got a missed call from my mom - I was chopping onions for the spaghetti sauce when the phone rang and didn't pick it up. She then rang my brother who was sitting across the table.

I was working the celery when my brother came to me and said, "Mummy called. Maktok's gone."

And I went, "Oh. OK". The celery-chopping didn't stop. Now that's certainly not a Hollywood-movie response to the news of a death of a loved one. That's just me.

I'm the Queen of Delayed Telecast when it comes to emotions. Whenever I receive bad news, I will almost always have no reaction. And the worse the news is, the lesser reaction I will have. The day my grandfather died, I was fine as hell. At the funeral, I peeped when they were preparing the body for burial, that night I slept well. The next day I spent the whole day sobbing in my room.

Just as this incident, I actually finished making the potato salad and spaghetti before the trip back to BP. The Diver was nice enough to drive us back. In hindsight, it was a wise decision because I was really not in the state to drive at all.

Midway to Batu Pahat, I bawled my eyes out and told The Diver satu benda yang memalukan, "I slept with my grandma until I was twelve." There it was, my Delayed Emotional Telecast.

My grandma. She was a lot of things to me, a mother, a friend, a confidante, my masseuse (when she was stronger), the one who spoils me rotten. For someone her age, she's very very open-minded. I was afraid of breaking her heart when I got divorced. But instead she was the one who consoled me, "What's the use of you staying on with a man like that? You don't need to please everyone in life, you must always remember that," she said, while stroking my hair. I heaved many sighs of relief in her presence...

Her reaction was a stark contrast to my mom's.

I miss my grandma terribly. I didn't make it for the funeral. When I arrived, it was already over. I didn't get to see her for the last time, and bid that forever farewell. But I will remember the smile on her face when I visited her with The Diver late last month.

She knows how truly happy I am.

untitled (first entry with the Berry)

I'm sitting down here on this lazy chair at this Chinese reflexology and acupuncture place in Ampang. No, I'm no getting reflexed or needle-poked. I'm waiting for The Diver getting kneaded and elbowed by this young Ah Moi who sounds like she just got off the boat from the Mainland.

The Ah Moi is quite strong, The Diver let out some ouches just now. Kesian jugak aku tengok Ah Moi ni, badan mamat tu dahla agak *ehem* oversized. Gosh, I so don't wanna be in her shoes. 5 minutes of elbowing him I'm already sweating bullets, man.
Anyway, it's Friday and I'm bloody happy. Cepatla habis massage Mr Diver, I can't wait to put my feet up and just chill!

Alamak, acupuncture la pulak... Kena pakai industrial strength needles ni.

waiting to exhale

Deep breaths.

That's my mantra these days. This is only my second week here and my schedule can easily topple a GM's schedule at my former company. Back to back meetings, and lunch at my lovely little cubicle - most times it's the chicken rice. I'm addicted to that already.

As I type, I'm trying to take deep, long, breaths.....

I got this from meandmylife via email. My previous boss boleh la kot.. but my current boss... he's not jongos at all.. heheheeh.. Bos aku tak jongos kan, Deoughtred? My boss is the Energizer bunny multiplied by three.

Anyway, things are moving at a breakneck speed here. I don't know if I can cope with the rollercoaster of emotions, sometimes I'm on fire, other days I'm not. All I know is that by the time I get home, lying down in bed is just... heavenly. And yes, I do fall asleep in the middle of my conversations with The Diver. But anyway, these really made me laugh..

Deep breaths.

Back to work.

I hope these will make The Diver smile at least, because these days I don't have that effect on him anymore.

happy birthday, Diver-San!

After feeling so guilty about that really pathetic birthday-cake-ice-cream celebration I decided to treat The Diver for a birthday dinner.

I was contemplating Tamarind Springs/Hill (for the romance factor) or Nikko's Benkay or at worse Nippon Tei - , ikut tekak sendiri cuz I was craving for Japanese. Being a weeknight I was sooooo knackered and dressing up for a romantic dinner was not big on my agenda. Plus The Diver is so no frills, he's such an AirAsia in real life. So he suggested we go to Onagi, a tiny Japanese place next to Hock Choon on Jln Ampang. Before it became Onagi, it was Muller's Sausage Haus. And apparently, according to The Diver, before Muller it was a Japanese place. Betul ke?

Anyway, it's such an undiscovered gem - the place has excellent Japanese food (better than Nippon Tei) and such an extensive menu. They had Okonomiyaki and Yakitori too! I mean for such a tiny place, it's awesome!
My fave sashimi - Red Tuna. This one is so fresh!

The Diver's must haves - Fried Kaki (Oysters). Crispy on the outside and really succulent on the inside.

Pictured below is The Diver's Salmon Butteryaki, a bit on the artery-clogging side but yummy nonetheless:

This is my beautiful Chicken Teriyaki. Lovely, lovely, lovely. And the Chawan Mushi was great too.

Now I don't feel so bad about the DIY Corned Beef Sandwich birthday celebration.. Heheh.. The Diver ranted and raved about how good the food was that night. And that's enough to make me happy.

happy birthday my sweet

Today The Diver turns 42.

We celebrated at home last night at the strike of midnight with a few of our closest friends. And thanks to this new job, I did not have time to do anything special for him at all! We had DIY corned beef sandwiches and the birthday boy actually COOKED corned beef fried rice. I didn't even get him a birthday cake, so we took out the Hazelnut Ice Cream from the freezer, put a Ikea strawberry votive candle on it and sang him a very melancholic (ni Komar punya pasal la ni) birthday song.

To The Diver, I'm sorry Honey, but that's the best I can do last night. You mean a lot to me and I feel bad for not doing anything special for you. I will slave this weekend though. (masa barbecue nanti la.. don't get any funny ideas).

I love you babykins and I hope we share as many birthdays together as possible in future.

my third day in this building that looks like god-knows-what

What is crappy about this godforsaken building that looks so high tech and New Age tapi sebenarnya tak:

1. They still have squat toilets (optional).

2. Parking is f*ck. Outdoor parking for me costs RM7 per day. Thank God it's claimable. No stilletto heels, walking on gravel ya.

3. The elevators are slow as hell. I don't know what kind of Ah Chong lift they use but it just is very damn slow lahhh.... I miss Vampire Tower.

4. The Food Court at Level 3 has the crappiest ventilation ever.

5. No hair saloons!!!! Cannot pedicure and manicure and get my hair done during office hours!!! HTF am I supposed to look good going to the office. Basket!!!

6. No Ampang Park :( Yes, that stupid little mall I frequent almost every day when I was working in my previous company.

7. The San Fran runs out of Carbonara sauce and Aglio Olio by 3 pm. Boleh?

Screw this place.

on being a commie (not the bintang tiga type)

Two days ago, I left the company after working there for a good six and a half years. On my last day, an engineer colleague asked me, "I've always envied you being in Corporate Comm. Looks like fun. What does it take to be in your department ah?"

So I told him I'll blog about it. Lepas tu aku terpikir dia bukannya tau aku ada blog. Blog pun mungkin dia tak tau menatang apa agaknya. Dasar water engineer. Gi mampus la.

Anyway, DNAS once told me in one of our gatherings that the Corporate Comm girls at her office always get away with wearing outfits that do not qualify as proper office attire - big shades, trendy clothes, things that are out-of-this-world. And whenever I go shopping with Hana and ask her opinion about a certain type of dress or shirt, she'll go "Ala.. OK.. pakai je.. kau kan Corporate Comm".

In any organisation, the Corporate Communications Department will always be the outstanding one. People expect Comms people to be perky, carefree and sometimes a bit on the eccentric side. Skiving is also quite easy - lunch with media, hotel inspections, sourcing for corporate gifts at any shopping mall, meeting with ad agency, or simply "I just need some quiet time so that I can finish up this Chairman's Statement..." (and then go window shopping at KLCC) Heheh... Imagine you're in HR or Finance, it's very hard to find reasons to skive OK...

But Comms my friends, is not any easy department to be in. You're required to know bits of everything and trust me a Degree in Mass Communication will not prepare you for this. In fact, I don't even think you need to major in Mass Comm to be a good Comms practicioner. It takes years of experience to really master the art of being a good Comms person.

Being in this line requires you to know a lot of cheats. When you've mastered it, it's a breeze really. I've been in the Industry for almost a decade now, although 6 years a full-fledged Comms person, so here's what I've learned:

The left side of my desk, every morning will look like this...

READ ALMOST EVERYTHING

This is what I do every day, read ALMOST everything. My limitation is always time - so what I do is I just skim through and get the gist of each article. Dailies are a must - but you also need to keep up by reading Le Prestige or Tatler just so you don't address the who's who of society wrongly when you're hosting the next event. And of course, CNN.com... agak malu la kalau tak tau who's running for the American Presidential election kan... And you just have to be in the know of the latest intellectual topics just so you can be part of the intercourse (ha!!!! SD!!! nampak je intercourse .. terus!!).

HAVE AN EYE FOR DESIGN

No matter how macho you are, a Comms person should always know origami... My colleague demonstrating how to fold our jute bags that were to be given away to share holders during AGM.

In order to be a good Comms person you have to be a bit of David Tutera. OKlah, if not David Tutera, being like Komar is also good enough. Komar always know what looks best on who / what. Trust me, colour coordination really goes a long way from event organizing to AGMs to print publications.

HAVE STRONG HANDS AND PROPER WARDROBE

In other words, know how to carry yourself, a Commie can sometimes be the VIP at events, but most of the times, we're the balachis. So know how to carry yourself, be courteous and always be of help.

One minute you're in a masjid, hosting buka puasa for orphans... the next minute, you're at a golf tourney helping out with the very heavy gifts during an unnecessary half-hour prize giving ceremony.

Strong hands... (bukan I yang cakap ni... someone's dad actually told me I have strong hands...tee hee...)

WRITE AND KNOW THE LINGO

A Comms person MUST know how to write. There are no two ways about this. Even if you're good in event management, or have an eye for design and detail, you can't call yourself a true Corporate Comms person if you don't know how to write a media release. It would be a boost if you can do your own copywriting as well. When I first started, I couldn't even differentiate Revenue and Profits (oi, I majored in International Relations and never took any business or marketing classes OK). Now I can basically talk about most of the things in the Financial Highlights section in the Annual Report.

Let's face it, if we're good at Math, we won't be in Corporate Comm la kan. So throw in a few of the financial jargons over lunch among your mates, and you'll get the respect you deserve.

SMILE AND BULLSHIT, WITH CONFIDENCE

Whatever it is, SMILE. In any crisis, smile first before you fix anything. A comms person must always smile. Look at IT people (the ones in the company that I just left at least), when they fix things, they look so stressed out and they just emanate negative vibes. Programmers, SAP consultants, what-have-you... they look like they have something up their asses (I'm so going to get it from DNAS, but DNAS, you're an exception)

At a conference we organized, the laptop was taking forever to start.. blank screen, and the Mat Salleh was suppose to present in like 5 minutes. But still, smiles all around. If the Comms person stop smiling, everyone will stop smiling.

Another tip: I've always hated public speaking, so anytime someone wants me to Emcee an event I'll cringe. I'll freeze. I'll do anything to get away from that. So one day when I was asked to Emcee, I decided to smile. Try it! Your voice will sound more soothing (attractive to the opposite sex LOL) and audible, and you will feel much, much more relaxed.

BE READY TO FLUFF

I like to call us "fluffers". If you don't know what time means, Google it up and I guarantee you Wikipedia has the answers. Before any event such as AGMs, launches, PCs... you're supposed to make small talk with the bosses, make sure they're at ease.. make sure they're in a happy zone, etc

Fluffing up the Chairman... the one at the back is our male fluffer...

Ha.. look ah.. fluffer mesti in any picture ada enter frame juga.... The guy on the left needs a really good fluffing...

In a nutshell, I'd say a Comms person is very much a Jack/Jill of all trades. Does that make us lesser beings? HELL NO. We're blessed with the ability to cross-departmentalize, understand people better and fathom all the goings-on in an organization from the lowest rung up to the top echelons. And oh, we can wear anything we want!!!