on being a commie (not the bintang tiga type)

Two days ago, I left the company after working there for a good six and a half years. On my last day, an engineer colleague asked me, "I've always envied you being in Corporate Comm. Looks like fun. What does it take to be in your department ah?"

So I told him I'll blog about it. Lepas tu aku terpikir dia bukannya tau aku ada blog. Blog pun mungkin dia tak tau menatang apa agaknya. Dasar water engineer. Gi mampus la.

Anyway, DNAS once told me in one of our gatherings that the Corporate Comm girls at her office always get away with wearing outfits that do not qualify as proper office attire - big shades, trendy clothes, things that are out-of-this-world. And whenever I go shopping with Hana and ask her opinion about a certain type of dress or shirt, she'll go "Ala.. OK.. pakai je.. kau kan Corporate Comm".

In any organisation, the Corporate Communications Department will always be the outstanding one. People expect Comms people to be perky, carefree and sometimes a bit on the eccentric side. Skiving is also quite easy - lunch with media, hotel inspections, sourcing for corporate gifts at any shopping mall, meeting with ad agency, or simply "I just need some quiet time so that I can finish up this Chairman's Statement..." (and then go window shopping at KLCC) Heheh... Imagine you're in HR or Finance, it's very hard to find reasons to skive OK...

But Comms my friends, is not any easy department to be in. You're required to know bits of everything and trust me a Degree in Mass Communication will not prepare you for this. In fact, I don't even think you need to major in Mass Comm to be a good Comms practicioner. It takes years of experience to really master the art of being a good Comms person.

Being in this line requires you to know a lot of cheats. When you've mastered it, it's a breeze really. I've been in the Industry for almost a decade now, although 6 years a full-fledged Comms person, so here's what I've learned:

The left side of my desk, every morning will look like this...

READ ALMOST EVERYTHING

This is what I do every day, read ALMOST everything. My limitation is always time - so what I do is I just skim through and get the gist of each article. Dailies are a must - but you also need to keep up by reading Le Prestige or Tatler just so you don't address the who's who of society wrongly when you're hosting the next event. And of course, CNN.com... agak malu la kalau tak tau who's running for the American Presidential election kan... And you just have to be in the know of the latest intellectual topics just so you can be part of the intercourse (ha!!!! SD!!! nampak je intercourse .. terus!!).

HAVE AN EYE FOR DESIGN

No matter how macho you are, a Comms person should always know origami... My colleague demonstrating how to fold our jute bags that were to be given away to share holders during AGM.

In order to be a good Comms person you have to be a bit of David Tutera. OKlah, if not David Tutera, being like Komar is also good enough. Komar always know what looks best on who / what. Trust me, colour coordination really goes a long way from event organizing to AGMs to print publications.

HAVE STRONG HANDS AND PROPER WARDROBE

In other words, know how to carry yourself, a Commie can sometimes be the VIP at events, but most of the times, we're the balachis. So know how to carry yourself, be courteous and always be of help.

One minute you're in a masjid, hosting buka puasa for orphans... the next minute, you're at a golf tourney helping out with the very heavy gifts during an unnecessary half-hour prize giving ceremony.

Strong hands... (bukan I yang cakap ni... someone's dad actually told me I have strong hands...tee hee...)

WRITE AND KNOW THE LINGO

A Comms person MUST know how to write. There are no two ways about this. Even if you're good in event management, or have an eye for design and detail, you can't call yourself a true Corporate Comms person if you don't know how to write a media release. It would be a boost if you can do your own copywriting as well. When I first started, I couldn't even differentiate Revenue and Profits (oi, I majored in International Relations and never took any business or marketing classes OK). Now I can basically talk about most of the things in the Financial Highlights section in the Annual Report.

Let's face it, if we're good at Math, we won't be in Corporate Comm la kan. So throw in a few of the financial jargons over lunch among your mates, and you'll get the respect you deserve.

SMILE AND BULLSHIT, WITH CONFIDENCE

Whatever it is, SMILE. In any crisis, smile first before you fix anything. A comms person must always smile. Look at IT people (the ones in the company that I just left at least), when they fix things, they look so stressed out and they just emanate negative vibes. Programmers, SAP consultants, what-have-you... they look like they have something up their asses (I'm so going to get it from DNAS, but DNAS, you're an exception)

At a conference we organized, the laptop was taking forever to start.. blank screen, and the Mat Salleh was suppose to present in like 5 minutes. But still, smiles all around. If the Comms person stop smiling, everyone will stop smiling.

Another tip: I've always hated public speaking, so anytime someone wants me to Emcee an event I'll cringe. I'll freeze. I'll do anything to get away from that. So one day when I was asked to Emcee, I decided to smile. Try it! Your voice will sound more soothing (attractive to the opposite sex LOL) and audible, and you will feel much, much more relaxed.

BE READY TO FLUFF

I like to call us "fluffers". If you don't know what time means, Google it up and I guarantee you Wikipedia has the answers. Before any event such as AGMs, launches, PCs... you're supposed to make small talk with the bosses, make sure they're at ease.. make sure they're in a happy zone, etc

Fluffing up the Chairman... the one at the back is our male fluffer...

Ha.. look ah.. fluffer mesti in any picture ada enter frame juga.... The guy on the left needs a really good fluffing...

In a nutshell, I'd say a Comms person is very much a Jack/Jill of all trades. Does that make us lesser beings? HELL NO. We're blessed with the ability to cross-departmentalize, understand people better and fathom all the goings-on in an organization from the lowest rung up to the top echelons. And oh, we can wear anything we want!!!