the wrong action / reaction

Sometimes, when you have been sorely missing someone you just don't know how to act when he comes back. Your mind gets mixed up with so many emotions - there's anger (why were you gone so long!) there's longing (God, I just so want to be with you it hurts) there's sadness (i've been doing nothing when you weren't around) there's frustration (why can't we be together?) and then there's just sheer happiness (I'm so glad to see you and you look super hot too)

With all those feelings jumbled up, I will always end up looking awkward when I see that person. Then I will get "You look so tense..."

Tense is definitely not the word, baby. Then with that kind of remark, you do the auto-switch mode, you smile and pretended not to care. But deep in your heart you wish there are words that can say how much you've missed them.

I missed you while you were away. No, I was not happy when you're not around.

There, I said it.