boh-san

Everything just went wrong today. Not TERRIBLY wrong, but slightly off.

First of all, it's that time of the month. So JZ The Betch is back. I was sending very nasty SMSes in the morning - sooooo touchy and suddenly hypersensitive. Got annoyed at every phone call I get all morning. And suddenly Mr No Fly Zone sent an SMS asking "how was d party last nite"? WHAT PARTY???!!! Then when I replied, he replied with something equally moronic and then... nothing, nada, zilch, l'oeuf. Hey, if you don't plan to take me out, get the f&ck out of my mailbox. Moron. This is not high school OK. Don't waste my freaking time with your teaser sneak preview watchamacallit SMSes. Aku tau la body kau tu sangat la hot dan irresistible (my god, those strong, taut, muscular arms and the Bell & Ross wrist watch!!), tapi if aku ni dah kau punya No Fly Zone, buat pe aku nak layan kau nye SMS (ohhh.. tapi tangan aku gatal sebab kau irresistible). Tangan aku boleh jadi kena arthritis tau tak??? As it is I'm replying millions already. Millions that matter. Iyer, aku adalah perempuan sour grapes.

Lunch wasn't so bad, the girls and I went to Kg Baru Nasi Ayam Kampung. Nasikkkk.... carbo.... dammittt...... And to think that I avoided eating that much rice for the past one year. I blew it once 2008 straddled along... My will power is close to non-existent now. In all aspects.

My regular nyonya at the salon pun mood ada kureng. And I found out Juli Dahlan is also a regular there. Ok peeps, I admit, I am the youngest regular customer at the salon - the rest are all menopausal, chain-smoking makciks, whom I will morph into in a decade or so. But the ah sohs there really know my hair like the back of their hand.

Work sucked. My boss asked me to draft a letter that is virtually unwriteable. How do you take over an ad space which someone has already booked. Errr.. "f&ck off cuz I want that ad space and my company is bigger than yours"??? I'm still stumped. And DHL doesn't deliver on Saturdays? Betul ke? And because of the election we had to arrange for some mileage-boosting events for some people whose name I can't mention here for the fear of me losing my job.

And it's election talk again. Ya my dad's name was in most of the major dailies for this really hot post... So friends called and smsed to congratulate for the NOMINATION. Gua pikir, ini NOMINATION la.... belum jadi lagi punnnnn!! Even last term people were saying that he would be elected to THAT post but he wasn't. Haiya.... Don't talk about it la... so bikin malu. And even he is elected to that post, I would have to close down this blog. And go anonymous on the Facebook. Especially now when I have a profile picture that makes me look like I'm high on something.

And Thank YOU SeaDemon for making me Minister of Home Affairs in his very own private cabinet lineup. I shall make every home a happy home and make it a rule for husbands to cook for their wives at least once a week. Heheh. And oh, one night a week for wifeys to have their Girls Nite Out. Yes, we can!

Oh, oh... one more election-related thingy - today's much anticipated appointment with Dato' N was cancelled because he's got an UHMNNNO meeting and afterwards gotta go back to New Fort (betul ke direct translation from Melayu nih???) to campaign. Campaign Dato N, jangan tak campaign. Huwaaaa.... when the heck am I gonna get my quotation signed. And he's been away since January 30th and keeping me updated from everywhere he is around the world. Aku jugak yang terperuk kat sini.

Luck's not on my side today. I'm all hyped up for some raw blues and a good time at our usual hangout place tonight, then Dalin4 called me up at 4ish saying, "I've got rashes! And it's painful!" Pity the woman. She sounded like a baby. Rashes???? Damn those rashes. Sebab rashes tu la aku tak dapat tengok Malaysia's most talented guitarist. Eceh. Macam la next week takde.

And now here I am updating my pathetic little blog. Pathetic2 pun ada orang baca tau... ada la orang yang tak sepatutnya baca blog ni. Kalau dia baca, dia sakit hati, dia baca, dia sakit hati. Entah apa dia sakit hati aku pun tak tau. Sebab sometimes benda2 yang aku tulis ni fictional. I like to screw with peoples' minds. Ye la, gua nak jadi macam our PM tu, hari tu dia kata election day lama lagi, bukan sekarang, bukan "esok". Parliament lama lagi nak dissolve, there will be many more cabinet meetings to come... Tup tup, esok parliament dissolved. Wah. Gua tertipu dude. So I follow the leader.

Oh, lepas tu kan. One of my ex-bfs, who's still a friend, YMed me saying he's getting married this year. I'm all happy for him, y'know. Finally, he meets his true love and I'm truly happy that someone's actually gonna be taking care of him. I know how much he loves to be pampered - i.e. having someone to masak sedap2 and ternak him. Then ah, I asked, "Am I gonna be invited to the wedding?" Heck, you know what his answer was? "See la first, I'm on a tight budget. Only limiting to 300 guests." WTF. I'm not even in your Top 300 most important people list??? Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. (Mister, if you're reading this, I memang tak nak gi your wedding. tak nak! And to think that we were supposed to be friends till the end!! Ouch!!!)

Since my day has been kinda off, I decided to just binge. After the nasi lunch, I had nasi dinner. And my maid cooked sardines... with loadsa onions and cili padi. Hoh. Apa lagi... I whacked the bugger like nobody's business man. Dua kali tambah. Dinner dude. We're talking D-I-N-N-E-R.

Then Ali came to me with the plastic container of peanuts... And went, "Ma, tolong open up the peanuts..." I was in bed, typing this out. "Jump in," I said. He went, "But Ma you say we can never eat in bed, nanti ada crumbs." I said, "What the heck boy, tonight is an exception." We laughed and finished the whole plastic container of Chinese New Year garlic-flavoured peanuts.

Sinful.

And now I'm almost done with this post. I have something chilled in the fridge and I'm going to the balcony and savour the night.

Alone, but never lonely.

J