... wear a t-shirt that screams "I am divorced" ?
It's amazing how productive the past 48 hours have been for me. My hamper partner and I finished 30 date (as in kurma) gift baskets to be delivered Monday. Went to Nilai 3 for some procurement activities. Went to Tesco Kajang and Carrefour Jalan Peel (whoever would've thought that there'd be one there!) for more stuff... Chatted on Stickam ( I need a webcam, please!) at night with a few friends... All this on Saturday.
On Sunday went for lunch with Hanazie at KLCC - and found a top at Zara that will either make me look like I'm dressed like I'm on the prowl for a new man or like a "tong dram (according to Ms Hana)". It's a very iffy dress - it will either make me look gorgeous or downright tempayanish. It's a KIV for now but I have a strong feeling that I will be rushing off to Zara before the week ends.
After the mini shopping expedition went with Ayu to take Ali and Adian (why am I the only one with a name not starting with an A) to KizSports & Gym at Great Eastern. We tucked the kids away there and went to Starbucks for the usualy beeyatching session.
Then I had to do a bit of a National Service. The Ex asked me if I would accompany him and Ali to his cousin's daughter's birthday party.
When he asked me, all I could think of was my dad's words the night before I went to court: "Don't shut him out, he's still family. It's ok if there's no jodoh between you two, but don't shut him out completely."
So I said yes.
Before I knew it, there I was at The Ex's cousin's place in Melawati sitting a table away from him watching Lolly the Clown making balloon animals. It was funny because it was the first time that I met some of the relatives - I thought, baru nak berkenalan, if only they'd knew that I'm no longer with The Ex...OH heck, by next week everyone in the family would know. And I thought, this is it, this is my last public appearance together with him at HIS side of the family's gathering. His closest family should be ok but definitely not extended family la kan?
There were some awkward moments at the party, which I shall not elaborate here. And I'm sure this Hari Raya will bring loads of awkward moments too. But oh well, I'm happy.
Here's to another fun week celebrating Ramadhan!
Monday, September 10, 2007
Friday, September 7, 2007
the effects of emancipation
1. Ever since September 1st 2007, I've been addicted to coffee. Ok, this coming from a person who was allergic to coffee when she was younger. I still remember a POUNDING headache coupled with extreme nausea after drinking iced capucinno when I was walking around with my then boyfriend (first BF mind you) at Harvard Square, Boston on a hot August day in 1993. Totally spoiled my date!
Today is 7th September and I've been taking a cup of coffee every day since the 1st.
2. I've regained my wicked sense of humour. Someone once mentioned that I should be a stand-up comic - like Rosie O'Donnell (i know la i tembam macam dia k) before. Then during the turbulent times in my marriage I became a very blah Plain Jane. Lost my sharp tongue and ability to rib-tickle people.
This evening during the department's balance scorecard meeting - when everyone's energy level is all sapped out and unable to use any part of their brain (past 7pm ok.. puhleaze):
Boss: So how can we leverage the strength of the Group and win more bids?
(deathly silence)
Boss: How? Cross utilisation? Cross selling?
(deathly silence)
Me: CROSS DRESSING! That's the only cross-ing I'll do at this hour!
3. My kids love me better because I've become a happier mother. The dancing / singing sessions with them are baaaaccckkk!!!! More smiles on their faces!!!!
4. You'll see less of my MERAJUK episodes. I finally realized that I was easily sucked into being merajuk because of the stress that I was in before. A mix of self-pity, self-hatred and angst towards my Ex. As a result, SIKIT-SIKIT nak merajuk. No promises that I will lose the merajuk part altogether, ok! You know I'm manja wattt... That's why you likey likey me so much watttttt... (ok enuff enuff)
So far so good.
And I can't wait to take on the world.
Today is 7th September and I've been taking a cup of coffee every day since the 1st.
2. I've regained my wicked sense of humour. Someone once mentioned that I should be a stand-up comic - like Rosie O'Donnell (i know la i tembam macam dia k) before. Then during the turbulent times in my marriage I became a very blah Plain Jane. Lost my sharp tongue and ability to rib-tickle people.
This evening during the department's balance scorecard meeting - when everyone's energy level is all sapped out and unable to use any part of their brain (past 7pm ok.. puhleaze):
Boss: So how can we leverage the strength of the Group and win more bids?
(deathly silence)
Boss: How? Cross utilisation? Cross selling?
(deathly silence)
Me: CROSS DRESSING! That's the only cross-ing I'll do at this hour!
3. My kids love me better because I've become a happier mother. The dancing / singing sessions with them are baaaaccckkk!!!! More smiles on their faces!!!!
4. You'll see less of my MERAJUK episodes. I finally realized that I was easily sucked into being merajuk because of the stress that I was in before. A mix of self-pity, self-hatred and angst towards my Ex. As a result, SIKIT-SIKIT nak merajuk. No promises that I will lose the merajuk part altogether, ok! You know I'm manja wattt... That's why you likey likey me so much watttttt... (ok enuff enuff)
So far so good.
And I can't wait to take on the world.
emancipation (part 2)
Yesterday was my hearing at the Mahkamah Syariah. The night before, the Ex was making such a big fuss over going to the hearing (i will be busy with an event, he said) So this officially getting divorced thing is a non-event I suppose? But anyway, the night before was bad. He thought of every reason imaginable to not go to court... and I was practically bawling my eyes out.
So what I did was call my dad. Yes, my dad. The person who me and my siblings (well at least my sister, kan Za!) will always avoid eye contact with. Sobbing uncontrollably I told him, "You know tomorrow is my court date kan. He doesn't want to go!!!!" And then I handed the phone over to the Ex. I felt like a child. But desperate people take desperate measures.
I don't know what my dad told him but the Ex went, "Ok, ok... "
The Ex then told me, "If you want me to go to court, pick me up at the office after subuh."
"What time?" I asked.
"After subuh la. You mean you don't know what time subuh is?" Insinuating that I selalu termiss my subuh prayers la tu.
So at 6:30 am on Thursday 6th of September, I'm in the car waiting in front of his office. He made me wait a good 15 minutes before coming down.
I won't go to the details of my hearing but suffice to say it went on very smooth. I didn't even have to say a word. He admitted that he has lafazed. The judge was very diplomatic or maybe he just pitied my pathetic appearance - I had puffy eyes from wailing the night before, wore my black tudung mawi and the kampungest baju kurung johor I have and I had no makeup on. Only lip gloss just in case I bump into someone I know. (i didn't wanna look too drab la kan)
And by the way, if you happen to attend a hearing at the Mahkamah Syariah - don't cross your legs when you sit. I didn't know this and the mamat polis had to tegur me politely, "Cik, tak boleh duduk macam ni..." I sorang je ke yang tak tau this court etiquette ni?
But anyway, it took only a good hour for the whole thing to be over. I even drove my Ex back to the office.
And honestly, I felt so different for the rest of the day. Happier, liberated and for once did not have to think about reporting for duty every 2 seconds.
To top it all off, had dinner at Italianni's with The Girls to end the day - I won't call it a celebration but oh well, somewhat of a teeny weeny celebration la I suppose.
We giggled, gossiped and gushed - Dalina even spotted this cute (mature) guy who was actually walking by and looking at us sampai nak terpatah leher dia.
I felt strangely younger. Maybe that feeling automatically comes once you're single again.
So what I did was call my dad. Yes, my dad. The person who me and my siblings (well at least my sister, kan Za!) will always avoid eye contact with. Sobbing uncontrollably I told him, "You know tomorrow is my court date kan. He doesn't want to go!!!!" And then I handed the phone over to the Ex. I felt like a child. But desperate people take desperate measures.
I don't know what my dad told him but the Ex went, "Ok, ok... "
The Ex then told me, "If you want me to go to court, pick me up at the office after subuh."
"What time?" I asked.
"After subuh la. You mean you don't know what time subuh is?" Insinuating that I selalu termiss my subuh prayers la tu.
So at 6:30 am on Thursday 6th of September, I'm in the car waiting in front of his office. He made me wait a good 15 minutes before coming down.
I won't go to the details of my hearing but suffice to say it went on very smooth. I didn't even have to say a word. He admitted that he has lafazed. The judge was very diplomatic or maybe he just pitied my pathetic appearance - I had puffy eyes from wailing the night before, wore my black tudung mawi and the kampungest baju kurung johor I have and I had no makeup on. Only lip gloss just in case I bump into someone I know. (i didn't wanna look too drab la kan)
And by the way, if you happen to attend a hearing at the Mahkamah Syariah - don't cross your legs when you sit. I didn't know this and the mamat polis had to tegur me politely, "Cik, tak boleh duduk macam ni..." I sorang je ke yang tak tau this court etiquette ni?
But anyway, it took only a good hour for the whole thing to be over. I even drove my Ex back to the office.
And honestly, I felt so different for the rest of the day. Happier, liberated and for once did not have to think about reporting for duty every 2 seconds.
To top it all off, had dinner at Italianni's with The Girls to end the day - I won't call it a celebration but oh well, somewhat of a teeny weeny celebration la I suppose.
We giggled, gossiped and gushed - Dalina even spotted this cute (mature) guy who was actually walking by and looking at us sampai nak terpatah leher dia.
I felt strangely younger. Maybe that feeling automatically comes once you're single again.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
making the wrong choices
I find it perfectly okay to take a wrong turn sometimes. That's what makes us human, no? Looking back, I so wanna list out the things that I did wrong. Maybe it will give some insight to singletons out there, but maybe it won't. Ah, who cares, it's my blog so here goes:
The first thing I did wrong was to get together with my Ex (sekarang dah boleh panggil Ex, ok?) right after I broke up with my college sweetheart. Yes friends, it was the rebound thing that I succumbed to. I was definitely, so on the rebound ok - that means I started this new relationship without getting over the old relationship. There were still issues. I just needed a new boyfriend to show college sweetheart that HEY, I'M MISS THANG AND YOU'RE NOBODY. I used my ex as a temporary source of comfort, rushing to coupledom like there's no tomorrow. But I did love him, it just started out on the wrong foot.
The second thing I did wrong was to glorify my Ex to the family. I realized his flaws, and tried to hide them. I always have positive things to say about him, hoping that one day those half-truths will all come true. I am a firm believer that if you want something so much, it will happen one day. I wanted him to be the man I want him to be. But he was not and worse still he did not even attempt to be.
The third thing I did wrong was to be the man of the house. I loved him. I pampered him. I ran the show. I became comfortable wearing the pants. But at the same time, I was not completely running the show - he dictated the way I think and the way I had to live. But oh so subtle he was that I was duped into believing that I actually made those decision. And in the end, I'm the one who's at the losing end.
So friends, I've said it. The wrong choices that I made in life. Let's hope it doesn't happen to you.
The first thing I did wrong was to get together with my Ex (sekarang dah boleh panggil Ex, ok?) right after I broke up with my college sweetheart. Yes friends, it was the rebound thing that I succumbed to. I was definitely, so on the rebound ok - that means I started this new relationship without getting over the old relationship. There were still issues. I just needed a new boyfriend to show college sweetheart that HEY, I'M MISS THANG AND YOU'RE NOBODY. I used my ex as a temporary source of comfort, rushing to coupledom like there's no tomorrow. But I did love him, it just started out on the wrong foot.
The second thing I did wrong was to glorify my Ex to the family. I realized his flaws, and tried to hide them. I always have positive things to say about him, hoping that one day those half-truths will all come true. I am a firm believer that if you want something so much, it will happen one day. I wanted him to be the man I want him to be. But he was not and worse still he did not even attempt to be.
The third thing I did wrong was to be the man of the house. I loved him. I pampered him. I ran the show. I became comfortable wearing the pants. But at the same time, I was not completely running the show - he dictated the way I think and the way I had to live. But oh so subtle he was that I was duped into believing that I actually made those decision. And in the end, I'm the one who's at the losing end.
So friends, I've said it. The wrong choices that I made in life. Let's hope it doesn't happen to you.
Monday, September 3, 2007
emancipation (part 1)
I'm relieved - not happy, not overjoyed, not jumping up and down. Just RELIEVED. I think I've become a normal person once again - why? Because I finally dread the thought of going to work tomorrow morning. I'm finally thinking - MONDAY, how I wish tomorrow's another weekend in my own Neverland.
Ever since "the plague", I've been using work as an outlet for me to forget what's going on in the real world. A form of escapism, if you must. Drown myself in annual report drafts, CSR presentations, newsletter articles, BD presentations, company events, random bloghopping and what-have-you. It is the only place where I am in control of things. (Except when da boss is in a bad mood la kan). And I liked being at work.
So why the sudden change?
On Saturday, September 1st 2007 at 7:01 pm, he finally let me go.
That makes this my first blog entry as a single mother I suppose. I will refrain from using the phrase "first OFFICIAL blog entry" cuz I don't know whether to call it official or not. For me, it IS official because he HAS said it. But we are going to court this Thursday and things might just take a different turn. Nonetheless, a lafaz is still a lafaz. I am no longer someone's wife (and for personal reasons shall not talk about how I feel about that right now, in a different entry maybe...)
So is this Mak Jan/MJ/J Lo title official or no, then?
Ever since "the plague", I've been using work as an outlet for me to forget what's going on in the real world. A form of escapism, if you must. Drown myself in annual report drafts, CSR presentations, newsletter articles, BD presentations, company events, random bloghopping and what-have-you. It is the only place where I am in control of things. (Except when da boss is in a bad mood la kan). And I liked being at work.
So why the sudden change?
On Saturday, September 1st 2007 at 7:01 pm, he finally let me go.
That makes this my first blog entry as a single mother I suppose. I will refrain from using the phrase "first OFFICIAL blog entry" cuz I don't know whether to call it official or not. For me, it IS official because he HAS said it. But we are going to court this Thursday and things might just take a different turn. Nonetheless, a lafaz is still a lafaz. I am no longer someone's wife (and for personal reasons shall not talk about how I feel about that right now, in a different entry maybe...)
So is this Mak Jan/MJ/J Lo title official or no, then?
Friday, August 31, 2007
it's independence day
....and all I could blog about is this: 
No whitewashing here. I am proud to be Malaysian, and my late grandfather played an integral part in the establishment of UMNO - he was the late Onn Jaafar's loyal sidekick. (Saya true blue Johorean yang amat berbangga dengan our Founding Fathers). Alamak, let me correct that statement, bukan true blue la because Mummy is Kuching-ite.
Ta-dah!
Wah.. who is the proud owner of this limited edition once-in-a-lifetime, earth-moving, riot-inducing Anya Hindmarch "green" bag??????
AKAK!!!!!
And by the way, something to match the silver Gucci purse I bought last year...
No whitewashing here. I am proud to be Malaysian, and my late grandfather played an integral part in the establishment of UMNO - he was the late Onn Jaafar's loyal sidekick. (Saya true blue Johorean yang amat berbangga dengan our Founding Fathers). Alamak, let me correct that statement, bukan true blue la because Mummy is Kuching-ite. But the state of affairs that UMNO is in, let's not talk about UMNO lah, the sorry state of affair of this current administration - I'd rather talk about the following pics rather than dwell on something that dampens my Merdeka spirit...
Hmm... I wonder what this is...
Ta-dah!
Wah.. who is the proud owner of this limited edition once-in-a-lifetime, earth-moving, riot-inducing Anya Hindmarch "green" bag??????AKAK!!!!! And by the way, something to match the silver Gucci purse I bought last year...And to all who wants a good dose of Merdeka Magic, Yayasan Warisan Johor will be presenting Bahtera Merdeka (1-4 September), a musical theatre held at PWTC's Dewan Tun Razak 1 - with Ramli Sarip, Dato' Rahim Razali (my hottie), Aishah and only on the 1st of September who else but King of Taib Andak - Mr Mawi himself. (barf).
The YWJ dancers are a talented lot, y'all. And I think the show is free. Those who wanna go can text me at my mobile (I'm assuming the readers of this blog are all my friends who've got my number). I have a feeling like I will be forced to attend like last year's Balada Sang Adiputera show so if you wanna go with me you're also most welcome.
And finally, Happy Independence Day Malaysia. Where all are free to roam the streets and buy bags without fear or favour. Heheh.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
i'm so kenyang!
2 days in JB is enough to make me gain back the weight i had lost. For the past few months I've been eating only ONE big meal a day. The rest are small meals (ie. half a portion of a normal meal). Not because I'm on a strict diet but I'm just so used to that routine.
Strangely my friends, whenever I'm in KL, I don't really feel like bingeing. But in JB, oh it must be something in the air, my appetite is easily aroused (appetite for food that is, dont get any weird ideas). Among the items in my most recent southern culinary business trip include:
1. Lontong Kering somewhere near the bomba in Larkin. Kering and basah, i love em both baby.
2. Nasi Lemak Bungkus - ze authentic Johor version cooked with halba. Ok this one was actually served during our meeting and it was so distracting because it's so GOOD!
3. Kacang Pool Haji (they have a website!) at Selera Johor - drool drool!!! One of my faves of all time!!!! siapa tak tahu kacang pool/pol raise your hands! It's the melayu version of chilli con carne, served with an egg sunny side up, diced raw onion and green chillies sprinkled on top and a THICK piece of buttered toast to go with it.
4. Asam Pedas at Tasek Utara. Just like my grandma makes it.
5. Majid Murtabak, Larkin Perdana. Heavenly.
Didn't have time to go to my compulsory ikan bakar dinner at Tip Top, though. Next time!
And now I'm back in KL, still stuffed. And I actually tapaued some murtabak (i was quite paranoid that it will exude its aroma on the airplane but thank god it didn't) which I ate just now before I started writing this... and lookie at what time it is now. Haiyo. How to digest la?
I actually have more to write on my JB trip but being so full at this hour has resulted in some kind of lulling lethargy that automatically switches my brain cells to hibernate mode.
Good nite all.
Strangely my friends, whenever I'm in KL, I don't really feel like bingeing. But in JB, oh it must be something in the air, my appetite is easily aroused (appetite for food that is, dont get any weird ideas). Among the items in my most recent southern culinary business trip include:
1. Lontong Kering somewhere near the bomba in Larkin. Kering and basah, i love em both baby.
2. Nasi Lemak Bungkus - ze authentic Johor version cooked with halba. Ok this one was actually served during our meeting and it was so distracting because it's so GOOD!
3. Kacang Pool Haji (they have a website!) at Selera Johor - drool drool!!! One of my faves of all time!!!! siapa tak tahu kacang pool/pol raise your hands! It's the melayu version of chilli con carne, served with an egg sunny side up, diced raw onion and green chillies sprinkled on top and a THICK piece of buttered toast to go with it.
4. Asam Pedas at Tasek Utara. Just like my grandma makes it.
5. Majid Murtabak, Larkin Perdana. Heavenly.
Didn't have time to go to my compulsory ikan bakar dinner at Tip Top, though. Next time!
And now I'm back in KL, still stuffed. And I actually tapaued some murtabak (i was quite paranoid that it will exude its aroma on the airplane but thank god it didn't) which I ate just now before I started writing this... and lookie at what time it is now. Haiyo. How to digest la?
I actually have more to write on my JB trip but being so full at this hour has resulted in some kind of lulling lethargy that automatically switches my brain cells to hibernate mode.
Good nite all.
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