Yesterday was my hearing at the Mahkamah Syariah. The night before, the Ex was making such a big fuss over going to the hearing (i will be busy with an event, he said) So this officially getting divorced thing is a non-event I suppose? But anyway, the night before was bad. He thought of every reason imaginable to not go to court... and I was practically bawling my eyes out.
So what I did was call my dad. Yes, my dad. The person who me and my siblings (well at least my sister, kan Za!) will always avoid eye contact with. Sobbing uncontrollably I told him, "You know tomorrow is my court date kan. He doesn't want to go!!!!" And then I handed the phone over to the Ex. I felt like a child. But desperate people take desperate measures.
I don't know what my dad told him but the Ex went, "Ok, ok... "
The Ex then told me, "If you want me to go to court, pick me up at the office after subuh."
"What time?" I asked.
"After subuh la. You mean you don't know what time subuh is?" Insinuating that I selalu termiss my subuh prayers la tu.
So at 6:30 am on Thursday 6th of September, I'm in the car waiting in front of his office. He made me wait a good 15 minutes before coming down.
I won't go to the details of my hearing but suffice to say it went on very smooth. I didn't even have to say a word. He admitted that he has lafazed. The judge was very diplomatic or maybe he just pitied my pathetic appearance - I had puffy eyes from wailing the night before, wore my black tudung mawi and the kampungest baju kurung johor I have and I had no makeup on. Only lip gloss just in case I bump into someone I know. (i didn't wanna look too drab la kan)
And by the way, if you happen to attend a hearing at the Mahkamah Syariah - don't cross your legs when you sit. I didn't know this and the mamat polis had to tegur me politely, "Cik, tak boleh duduk macam ni..." I sorang je ke yang tak tau this court etiquette ni?
But anyway, it took only a good hour for the whole thing to be over. I even drove my Ex back to the office.
And honestly, I felt so different for the rest of the day. Happier, liberated and for once did not have to think about reporting for duty every 2 seconds.
To top it all off, had dinner at Italianni's with The Girls to end the day - I won't call it a celebration but oh well, somewhat of a teeny weeny celebration la I suppose.
We giggled, gossiped and gushed - Dalina even spotted this cute (mature) guy who was actually walking by and looking at us sampai nak terpatah leher dia.
I felt strangely younger. Maybe that feeling automatically comes once you're single again.
28 comments:
Haha. Glad that it's over for you. This reminds me of the first time I was divorced. My ex was the one who did everything from A-Z because she'd wanted the divorce so much: her former classmate was already waiting to marry her.
The kadi gave me the script for me to lafaz. I just sat there for about ten minutes, staring at the piece of paper: thoughts of the good times, the children, all flashed by my eyes.
Then the kadi said, "Kalau rasa tak nak cerai, elok kita selamatkan masjid ni." To which my ex got up and shouted, "Kalau dia tak nak ceraikan, saya nak mintak cerai jugak!"
So I let her go. Talak Satu.
The guy never married her. 6 years later she married a guy from Kelantan who passed away 3 months ago. They had no children together.
As for me, 6 years later I got custody of my children from that marriage. They are still with me now, albeit motherless.
So, live your life to the fullest and whatever tai-chi or karate that you know, this is the best time to use the skills in tepising the crocodiles who think that the thing you are really deprived off now is sex.
Meen, come on...you didn't write that we almost took photos with Anding? He looks cute....if ambik gambar with you sure matching habis you.
Just imagine, the day you are officially free, is the day you got a photo with Anding on your blog...hehehe....
happy it's all over for you and it went smooth. hugs.... oh, i baru balik from air supply's concert ni. pathetic kan? hee hee...
Title kau macam tajuk album Mariah Carey - Emancipation of Mimi. Tapi kau punya boleh buat Emancipation Of Mimin.
So, sekarang ni kira kau dalam eddah lah kan? Tak boleh nakal2 lagi... hihihi. Sabarrrrr....
dunno what to say...shoud i congratulate you or what? heheheh apa2 apa pun i want you to be happy ok..
SeaDemon, my Ex still thinks that one of the reasons that left him was because I wanted to go with another man - completely bollocks. But your first divorce was quite dramatic, eh?
Wait a minute, you got custody of your kids when she re-married? Was that agreed upon before?
Spena, I don't do underaged boys! Some more AF participant! Lagikan AF winner pun aku tak hingin inikan lagi AF bottom rung. Give me a breakkkk....!!! But yeah it would make a nice main page pic and I'll come up with a killer headline for that too.
Eddy, thanks. Why in the world were you watching Air Supply? Sangat sedih ok.
Dnas, I was thinking of that too... tapi nanti orang ckp perasan Mariah Carey pulak. Now ni dalam eddah, tapi takpe puasa is around teh corner, soon it's Raya - already two months gone. Memang I will be sangat angelic.
Aiyaaa.. i talked too much last nite till i lost my voice. Today i really sounds like itik serati.. Horrible. Worse when i have to talk to client. They could hardly understood what i'm mumbling about.
Spena,we waited if that And1ng guy passed by again but no luck. But the guy that wearing the same shirt like mimin did come back. Sib baik aku tak panggil tangkap gambar sekali. Muahhahhaaa!!!
Tak dapat And1ng, twin pun boley la ye..
hana, ok you guys better stop talking about this and1ng person. I personally am neutral towards him and in fact do find him quite refined for an AF graduate. Eceh... I'm a trained diplomat babe, diplomatic tak saya? No wonder I'm always the scapegoat for losers yang korang tak nak kawan tu. I'm such a pushover! Aiyo.. itik, go take something la for your throat!!!
meandmylife... macam mana aku boleh termissout comment kau? i think you should congratulate me lah... A good friend keeps on reminding me, "It can only get better..." God willing!
I reckon its the best day of your life and I believe the great life lies ahead of you.
Start carik sekarang
lord budak, now I nak start cari $$$$! thanks for the well wishes ;) See you at Gegarrrr???
mimin, i'm a closet air supply fan.... all those hrs i spent karaoke-ing their songs. hahahahhaha....
Jazzy...no. She went on dates prior to getting marries (dates were not with her late husband) and neglected the children.
So I filed for custody and won.
ya, di mana2 Court pun tidak boleh cross leg. sangat tidak faham mengapa.
anyways, best wishes, ya! :)
sorry mimin, couldnt make it last nite. wasnt feeling very well. nak jalan pun tak larat hari ni. apa kata lepas ni buat gathering kat shah alam pulak..heh heh. anyways..glad that all went well for you.
hi, bloghopped (rather taking a break from facebook) and chanced upon this entry. which brought me back to 6-7 yrs ago when mine happened. i was numbed for three days. third night, i broke down and bawled my eyes out for all it's worth. then i lived, and still live. but the memories of the three days are still very much in my head.
seademon, it's nice to know how concerned you are with the kids :)
am, oh really? didn't know that. i was initially shocked :)
nachos, no worries mate! gathering kat shah alam? i need a place to spend the nite then.
babe, i suppose that initial feeling lost and facing the great unknown thing is kinda scary huh? thanks for dropping by :)
Aiyo drama swasta!
Wonder what Bak said.
za, very de drama. i think he persuaded the Ex to go in his own persuasive politician way. then he told me "you guys have to be friends, he's still family." Again, sounding like his politician self :)
K. Meen,
Hello.. this is Faiez, your junior in school. U might not remember me but you can ask K Spena, haha. Well even K Dali cos I played basketball last time :)
Enough of the intro, haha.
But anyway, I've been thru this as well and I am glad that ur ex wanna come to the court because it will never be finalised if he didnt. Altho he already lafazed, which is so lame if you ask me, but that is syariah law for u. Women's rights are never an important agenda.
What you went thru, I did too and after 2 years 6 mths of being single, I still think the divorce was the best thing that had happened to me :)
You'll have a blast I promise you and hell yeah! It does make us way younger after that! Haha! Only one thing I hate... typical malay guy when they know ur a divorcee they think ur easy. But oh well, those are the one you don't want anyway, hahaha!
Get ready girl. You are about to conquer the world now. Take care!
hi faiez, your name sounds really really familiar and if i see you in real life I'd probably recall lah. yeah it does feel much better after everything's over :) Watch out world, here I come! (at least after Raya lah, hahah!)
That's our Bak - kasik tabik sikit. :)
p/s: Since I got that operation, I've begun to like Bak. Dulu dah la tak cakap langsung but I remember the time I got out of the operation room, I saw Bak and Mummy crying. Seeing our BAK cry really changed my feelings towards him.
za.. so sad!!!! he actually cried during my nikah you know! must be the ambience (di pagi yang hening..) and also the old mosque, etc.. etc... hehehe.. or maybe he had a premonition that the marriage wouldn't work! but ya after seeing the softer side I guess he's not so bad after all kan.
aiyo, i saw that video of your nikah. i pun ternangis tengok bak cry! iskisk..
Meen,
Abby here...ingat tak aku lagi? I bumped into yr blog sometime back. Glad that it's over with yr ex and the most important thing is you're happy.
Abby, I heard that you're posted overseas? Coming back for Raya? Kalau balik Raya don't forget to call me!!!
mimin, tumpang lalu.
Abby, kau pakai which email sekarang? Aku still subscribe kau kat Yahoogroup tu guna the old Yahoo email. Boleh ke?
Meen,
Tak balik raya la yang...baru aje sampai in August..huhuuuu..Anyway kalau aku balik bila2 tu aku drop by rumah blkg tengok kau ada tak..
DNAS,
U can still use that yahoo mail of mine. DHL tu cancel eh.. tq
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