I find it perfectly okay to take a wrong turn sometimes. That's what makes us human, no? Looking back, I so wanna list out the things that I did wrong. Maybe it will give some insight to singletons out there, but maybe it won't. Ah, who cares, it's my blog so here goes:
The first thing I did wrong was to get together with my Ex (sekarang dah boleh panggil Ex, ok?) right after I broke up with my college sweetheart. Yes friends, it was the rebound thing that I succumbed to. I was definitely, so on the rebound ok - that means I started this new relationship without getting over the old relationship. There were still issues. I just needed a new boyfriend to show college sweetheart that HEY, I'M MISS THANG AND YOU'RE NOBODY. I used my ex as a temporary source of comfort, rushing to coupledom like there's no tomorrow. But I did love him, it just started out on the wrong foot.
The second thing I did wrong was to glorify my Ex to the family. I realized his flaws, and tried to hide them. I always have positive things to say about him, hoping that one day those half-truths will all come true. I am a firm believer that if you want something so much, it will happen one day. I wanted him to be the man I want him to be. But he was not and worse still he did not even attempt to be.
The third thing I did wrong was to be the man of the house. I loved him. I pampered him. I ran the show. I became comfortable wearing the pants. But at the same time, I was not completely running the show - he dictated the way I think and the way I had to live. But oh so subtle he was that I was duped into believing that I actually made those decision. And in the end, I'm the one who's at the losing end.
So friends, I've said it. The wrong choices that I made in life. Let's hope it doesn't happen to you.
20 comments:
Wrong choices?
Hmm....at least you've got 3 great kids.(which I can tumpang to get some hugs)
But I do agree on the 2nd point though. And that happened to me too. Until my sist told me that I've been covering and suffering so much but I just didn't notice it!
But that's ok - we are here now. We've been married..and it was not only for 1 or 2 years. So, we have done our best.
First off, let me congratulate you on being liberated.
Second, I agree that mistakes are part of being human and there are always something we can learn from them.
As for glossing over, I think it's understandable that one'd want to defend his/her loved ones, but there are only so many times that one could do that.
Okay enough babbling, hope you're doing well amid all these 'plague' issues.
p.s Medina feeling better I hope?
Spena, ya you're most welcome to tumpang my kids anytime. I guess we're the positive type that will go out of our way to make things better. And at one point *kaboom*. More donuts to eat.
Theta, I'm doing ok thanks. We really need to get together... Hari tu hectic sangat... Medina is well and finally decided to ikut her maktok to balik batu pahat. Hmph...
Being the breadwinner should not be the woman's job but then again, life's a gamble. Tak cuba, tak tau kan.
Maybe getting married to him was a mistake but you've got 3 beautiful, smart kids!! :)
Jazz Maam,
came across your site from jokontan's. Spent quite a bit of time reading up here etc. Then i went Ampang Park to buy dinner and OMG, i swear someone who looks like you carrying that 'green' bag you are so fond of, and a little baby boy.
of course, it cant possibly be you, or can it? But i got the electroshock of my life! I really do get carried away when i get good reading material! That's for sure. ;o)
You keep well, now.
cheers ood, nice maiden post from you :) And no, that wasn't me at Ampang Park although I work at Empire Tower which is just across the road. maybe we'll bump into each other for real one day... altho i wouldn't know how you would look like. drop by again please!
Wrong choices, Jazzy?
I'm famous for that.
Three counts now.
I'm going for #4 now...my last shot at happiness.
On that rebound mistake, I thank God for my girlfriends were always there to accompany me after my break-ups. They helped me see a lot of things, especially on picking up the pieces and continuing with my life. A man is important to provide the love and care, but surviving without him for awhile is not that bad. Especially when you need some space and time to 'pujuk' your 'hati' and starting anew.
seademon, hats off to you! and you do have a lotta loving to give. Hope #4 is the one for you. It gets tiring after a while, kan?
dnas, i just realized that I've never ever been single for long ever since I started dating my first boyfriend in 1992. Horror kan. So now it feels SO GOOD!!!!
Yes it gets tiring after a while. No.1 was just unreasonable but regrets asking for divorce now. No.2 still goes around saying she's my father's daughter-in-law...sicko. No.3 is just plain sick.
Everytime it happens it's tough. It is tough to start anew, it is tough to end one too. No matter how much practice I've had. The problem is no one sane would want to get married and end up divorcing. It screws you up emotionally and the guy might end up crying out Tijah when reaching orgasm when it was really Tipah underneath feeling very tertipu.
Anyway, like I said. I'm 41 going on 42 and my health is slowly deteriorating. My kids will grow up and move out one day to start their own family.
The prospect of sleeping alone and dying alone scares the sh** out of me.
Hmmmm...you've had a very colourful life there SeaDemon.
Likewise on your last sentence :(
Too colourful for my liking, but still looking for #4 (and last).
Uhh...my father's cousin passed away all alone while watching TV.
It was only four days later that they realised he was dead when he was doing what Pavarotti is doing now: rotting.
So, yes, that scares the hell out of me. That is why I am always in clean underwear. At least I don't put the hospital staff off.
I can't resist to write this, Meen , why don't we help Mr seademon to find somebody nice? We have friends too.
spena...hahaha...thank you for the thoughts..but..haha.
If you put a nice lady in front of me now, I wouldn't know where to look at or what to say to her.
Whether she's drop-dead gorgeous or dodo-dead brained, I am still quite a malu person.
SeaDemon, ditto on the underwear. I started doing that after reading Flannery O'Connor's "A Good Man is Hard to Find". So all the almost koyak ones I quickly dispose..Heheh.
If you were THAT malu, little miss hotpants won't throw herself at you like tat ok mister!
Spena,.. that is an excellent idea! Can't really believe he is malu though.
Goshh... cant believe where this comment area is heading... from nachos' sembang column to seademon ruangan mencari jodoh.. it really had evolve.
Jazzy...the malu ones usually get targeted first.
Hanazie...as how human evolved. Hahaha.
SD, saya *malu* dengan your father :)
Jazzy...LOL!
SeaDemon said...
Wrong choices, Jazzy?
I'm famous for that.
Three counts now.
I'm going for #4 now...my last shot at happiness.
September 6, 2007 2:50 AM
Blogger all jazzed up said...
seademon, hats off to you! and you do have a lotta loving to give. Hope #4 is the one for you. It gets tiring after a while, kan?
September 6, 2007 3:36 PM
Gosh...you are #4 and I guess I'll never tire now.
Especially so that you're snoring the loudest ever tonight.
I love you.
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