makcik gemok

56 bloody kgs.

That's what the scale showed when I stepped on it at Rina's house. Yes, at Rina's house right after whacking the hot cekodok, and before that D'Saji's yummylicious nasi minyak and other wedding dishes at Dewan Perdana. And the tapai ice-cream.. oh.. drool... ANYWAY....

Last year in October I weighed 48kgs. And last year I was miserable and working and worrying too hard for my own good.

I'm targeting to lose 3 kgs in a month. How I'm going to achieve that, I don't know but that's my target. Mana tau ada orang boleh buat aku makan hati lagi ke...

this is what happens after more than a month of menanam anggur...

I haven't been cryptic in a while. It's been moons since I last posted something that can be deciphered differently by different readers. Well here goes...

Jealousy.

Damn I hate that word. But I sho' am a jealous person. I might not show it sebab aku perasan cool and will always laugh if off, or sleep it off, or eat it off, depending on the level of jealousness - but I am deep down a green-eyed monster. But dammit, aku takkan admit aku jealous so aku akan buat cranky or wolf down a tub of Ben & Jerry's.

Dulu, I went out with a guy whose work requires him to hang out among celebs, party all night, organize happening events and entertain those who need to be entertained. I was OK. Until one day my insecurity got the best of me, so I decided to end it.

Itu dulu.

Now I am so much more secure of myself. Heheh. Cheh. Well, now at least, if I found out my partner is cheating on me, I have learnt to say "Your loss, ingat aku tak boleh cari yang lain?" Instead of trying to jump off a building or crying my eyes out in bed.

The Diver has a lot of female friends, like, REALLY good looking female friends. Korang tengok la Facebook dia (don't bother if you're not on his FB friend list cuz his is only accessible and searchable to ones on his friend list je). Berlambak awek cun. Someone asked me once, "Kau tak jealous ke?" What is there to be jealous about la... I'm not jealous at all. Not jealous, but CAUTIOUS. Nampak tu...?? Perkataan in CAPS tu???

Well, I have a few guy friends too, and I hope The Diver is OK with that. Even a couple of ex bf's and maybe one who had a crush on me when I was single. But we're platonic friends. One rule that I sometimes use to emphasize the "platonicity" of a relationship is to use the "aku - engkau" pronoun when I converse with certain men. It's like a "dont mess with me" unwritten rule of conversation don't you think so?

Some people use terms of endearment like "Baby", "Honey", "Darling" to people they call friends. Which I sometimes am guilty of too, but now dah tak guna dah la because you know why la kan... Terms like that can be misconstrued as flirting. Especially those yang very the perasan la kan.

Damn. It's that time of the month la... so I don't really actually know what this posting is all about actually and The Diver is napping so aku bosan giler nih.

Hmm.. or maybe there is a meaning behind this greenish-hued posting? *evil grin*

untitled, because if i ever did give this posting a title it would be so foul that blogspot would ban this blog

After three straight days of bingeing on Raya delicacies. I've sworn off the lemangs and the rendangs la.. Until.. until.. err.. I wanna say next Raya but I doubt it.Anyway, malas nak cerita pasal Raya lagi. I'm so over it. But having said that, The Diver and I had a swell Raya together, watching our tummies swell :P

I don't know whether I should blog about this, with this being the festive season and all. But I have to get it off my chest nonetheless.

You see, in my younger days, I went out with a few guys from this particular school which bus almost ran over my car earlier this year. It wasn't a conscious thing that I am always attracted to boys from this school (or is it vice versa?) - it was sheer bad luck I suppose. An evil trick from the powers that be, maybe.

And lo and behold, The Diver is also a graduate from the school. Crap.

I only found out he was from that school after I kinda liked him (tak ingat bila la...). And I thought to myself, oh bollocks, my girlfriends are gonna go "Oh no, not again... Kau ni balik balik budak M**K." Tapi apa boleh buat? Should I punish him from being a product of the establishment? Should I stop liking him just because he was the same batch as one of my ex boyfriends? Should he be my no fly zone?

Persetankan itu semua, I thought.

So I went out with The Diver. And we got serious. Anyhoo, before I started going out with The Diver, officially, I have on several occasions went out with a junior of his by one year. Let's just refer to this guy as Arsenio. Not that he looks like him. Honest. I termed it casual dating, because we went out a few times and then I received an SMS from him saying that he "is not looking into going in a relationship right now because he's concentrating on bringing up his kids and his kids won't be appreciative of a new person in his life". Not his exact words but something to that extent. So I was like, OK. I liked this Arsenio guy. And cool, I'm fine with that because we both were single parents taking care of our children on our own. I respected him for being such a responsible dad. And that was that.

When Arsenio found out that I was going out with the Diver he even Facebook messaged me to congratulate me on finally finding my soulmate. I was touched and thanked him for being so thoughtful. And again, that was that.

Until a few days before Raya when The Diver asked me a few funny question about me and Arsenio. Bear in mind that The Diver knew I was casually dating Arsenio prior to our relationship. So I got a little miffed. Turns out, someone from The Diver's batch actually YMed him, and giving misinformations about my "relationship" with Arsenio.

The Informer even divulged details of my Google talk conversations with Arsenio. Boleh tak ni? The Informer is concerned about my infidelity streak kononnya. Well he didnt actually say that but The Informed said he was concerned about The Diver going out with me. Concerned? I was perplexed.

First of all, I'm pissed that Arsenio even THOUGHT of divulging such information to The Informer. Hello??? Aku pun pernah keluar dengan orang lain dari sekolah kau tapi diorang tak pernah la nak disclose anything because let's just keep the past in the past. I even got quite serious with The Diver's batchmate dulu - I even met the guy's mom. Tapi when I broke up with him takde la pulak dia nak pi report to The Diver what happened between him and I in the past! I can't believe that Arsenio actually showed The Informer our online conversation (yang tak seberapa tu and you know la online conversations can always be misconstrued). Know what, if I was to go out with any other man it would have really jeopardized our relationship. Thank God The Diver is level-headed enough to understand.

People, if you ever break up with you partner, it is only decent that whatever that happened between you and him/her remain between just the both of you. Although takde la nak sign any confidentiality clause, it's basic dating etiquette. It's basic common sense.

What is actually the motive of Arsenio doing that I don't know. Apasal dia bitter sangat aku pun tak tau? Why do you want to jeopardize other people's relationship?

Second, after I went out with The Diver I never saw Arsenio. Ever. I have never cheated on The Diver. This is a classic case of double standards. If a guy is friends with a lot of girls he's a stud, if a girl does that she automatically becomes a slut. Even though she doesn't sleep with any of guys she goes out with. Apasal The Informer concerned sangat pasal aku ni aku pun tak tau. Macam cipet. Yang berlambak2 budak-budak sekolah kau yang girlfriend keliling pinggang kau tak concerned pulak? Kimaks.

Marah tau. Sangat marah. Dah lama tak marah macam ni.

I had some respect for Arsenio when I was friends with him. But now it's all gone down the drain.

happy eid everyone, wherever you guys are...

Two more days of fasting and then we'll be celebrating Hari Raya.

My aunt from BP called me last night to order some last minute cookies and secretly I think, she was scared that I won't balik kampung this raya. So by ordering the cookies, I would feel obliged to come back home. She knows I'm not too happy with the fact that this is the first raya without my grandmother around. And I know I will be so emotional on first day of Raya.

Isn't it funny that when we were kids Raya used to be so happy and joyful and as we age there's just so many tears shed on Raya? (or maybe it's just me...)

Two more days. As usual, ada saja yang tak siap. I need to buy two more pants for Yunus, my youngest because I forgot to buy him any shorts/pants when I was in Bandung. Don't ask me why. And I need to buy Ali's baju melayu.. again, don't ask me why I haven't bought this for him. I blame it on the hamper-making and cookie-baking and the perpetually heavy KL traffic during Ramadhan. And I need to buy one dress for Medina, I bought her too many during my Bandung trip and her grandmother will probably buy a closetful already. But I just need to give her something so that she doesn't feel like I haven't bought her anything when I go back to BP. She's such a drama mama, much like her mama... She probably would've forgotten that she's the one who got the most goodies after I got back from my Bandung trip.

Anyway, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank The Diver for being showing his feminine streak this Ramadhan...Kemachoan yang hilang.. :P The Diver and Hana's brother helping out with my Hazelnut Suji.

The end product... These are really yummy (kes masuk bakul)...

The Diver helping out in the kitchen, preparing his Corned Beef Fried Rice for iftaar.
The Diver's nasi goreng -- siap shredded omelette lagi...

Zaza, I really wish you're here for Raya :( We miss you lots!

Happy Eid everyone, just in case I'm too busy to post anything the next two days.

the first time

Last night, at one of our supper sessions with the Usual Suspects, The Diver proclaimed, "Well, today is the 24th of September and it marks the first year of us seeing each other face-to-face."

That's him, that's The Diver for you. He has a knack for remembering things like that, unlike yours truly. He will always start a sentence with, "Back in 1976..." or "In September 2003..."

And he will talk about things that happen in 1973 lah.. 1974 lah... and I'm thinking.. were you not only 8 years old when those things happen??? It baffles me. Sometimes it even crossed my mind that he might be The Highlander or something... Connor Mcleod ke laki aku ni? Semua cerita dia tau... as if he's lived for hundreds of years.

Back to our "one year anniversary". Yes, it was a year ago that we met face to face. Before that I always frequent his blog, sometimes crying at his tearjerker writing (macam Hindustan punya sedeyyy) sometimes laughing my ass off reading his hilarious posts. And MOST times I just feel like bitch-slapping him real good when he was really down and suicidal. Last Raya, when he decided to go to Perhentian and before that he had really sob story postings like how he buka puasa with leftovers la.. apa la.... I just felt like telling him, "Stop it will you!!! Get a grip!!! The world's not going to end if you break up with someone!!!" Well if that someone is Gisele Bundchen ke, worth it la jugak kalau nak bunuh diri. Know what I mean?

I was down in the dumps too at that time. A certain someone was convinced that he loved me with all his heart but honestly, I never thought he actually did have the balls to actually LOVE me. You know, like LOVE, in its purest sense...

But what I did to ignore the pain was channel my energy into other things... like GiftCafe, friends (our girls night out at Micasa), hanging out with GemGem and The Betch at Oswego and Las Carretas (and watching someone sing "I come from the land down under...", melayan mamat-mamat bodoh so that I can blog about their kebodohan (oh, that's so cruel) and my kebodohan as well...

Anyway, back to The Diver. I'm glad we were friends before. All this while until March 2008, I've always cared for him as a friend. I was always concerned about his health, his well-being. And subconsciously maybe I've loved him even from the start. Even from the day I read his "End of a Great Journey" posting. Maybe love should bloom from friendship after all.

Maybe it was just meant to be.

"and no, I don't dive, thank you very much..."

Since a few months back, I've been dragged to a few divers meet / teh tarik / makan / farewell sessions by The Diver. That's the danger of being a non-diver when your hubby is supposedly the "legend" (ni bukan aku atau dia yang cakap tapi owner sebuah dive shop di KL. Nanti ada orang cakap laki aku berlagak la apa la...). You get dragged to all these events, which I don't mind really. And no, hubby gue tak mati lagi, walaupun ada orang panggil dia legend.

I really don't mind you know, socialising with them. They're a friendly bunch, and usually a mix of races which is super cool. And once I start diving (if I ever start diving) I'd probably know more about it theoretically than any other newbie. Dah berbakul-bakul cerita diving aku dengar. Tanya la ikan apa yang poisonous, macam mana orang bagi lobster mabuk pakai shampoo, dive site mana yang best, how deep is DEEP, what nitrox does to you, etc.. etc. I've heard too many of that. I'm also amused at their dive names - ada yang cute, funny, macam-macam nama dalam dive forum tu. I told The Diver tadi after buka, "Sayang, if I dive my dive name will be Octopussy..Boleh tak?" He was not amused. hehehe.. Saja.. aku suka bagi dia bengang with my bangang jokes.

So what do I talk about when they talk about diving? Takde apa la, aku angguk-angguk, senyum-senyum, give out my megawatt smile, laugh at their jokes (they're usually a hilarious bunch) and smile lovingly at The Diver when aku dah tak larat nak dengar cerita lagi dah.

Apa lagi? Masa Diver's meet, I just smile, nod, and jadi camwhore. Orang lain tak tengok camera aku sorang je tengok camera. Nasib baik la aku ni orang corp comm, pandai berlakon.

Am I gonna start diving? I told The Diver, if he wants me to start - he's got to provide me with everything - and no, I don't want the chokia wetsuit. Kalau ada Gucci ke, Prada ke, exact copy pun takpe. Sebab aku tengok sangat tak stylish itu wetsuits... The Diver cakap most Japanese divers pakai fancy ones, maybe I should get Zaza to check out wetsuits in Japan :P Lagi satu, booties yang diorang pakai tu.. Aduh... aku dah la stumpy, nak pakai macam tu lagi... adehhh... rasa macam merayap je la... It's very 80s. Kalau aku tinggi macam Spena takpela nak pakai booties macam tu. Ee.. sangat merayap....Lepas tu hari tu in Tioman masa tengok The Diver and Spena buat shore dive.. I was like.. OMG you actually have to carry the tanks all the way to the beach and into the water and before going in Spena was sweating bullets already. Lagi la masa dah habis dive, nak jalan balik to dive center, all wet and heavy... I don't see me doing that at all. I'm so lembik lah. How?

Aku boleh imagine aku menangis-nangis dan menghentak-hentak kaki sambil mengangkut tank tu balik ke dive centre.

Or maybe I should just stick to being a non-diver. Everytime ada diver punya gathering they will ask me, "So are you with SeaDemon?"

"Yes, and NO, I DON'T DIVE." Usually followed by "I shop!" - tapi ini selalunya inaudible lah. Dalam hati je.

One day Sayang, I will dive. One fine day.

a glass of Sirap Bandung Soda right now would be perfect...

I know!!! This is bad!!! I'm unemployed and yet I haven't really been blogging except for the handbags entry. And ladies, hopefully I'll be getting more bags - this time a red Celine bag and a really nice gold Gucci one (if its still around lah...) Maybe I should fill in under my profession: Bag Hunter...

Puasa month has been brilliant so far, in spite of shuttling back and forth JB-KL. We're currently in JB right now until Wednesday (I think!). Our furniture is supposed to arrive tomorrow, that's the main reason why we're here. At least that the main reason why I am here - The Diver's got to meet a few people and organize some buka puasa thingy with this diver friends.

I had an amazing weekend - the first time ever berbuka puasa on the island. The Diver, Spena and Rina were at Tioman over the weekend. And it was just exhilarating to have buka puasa while watching the sunset, carressed by the cool evening breeze...

The Diver and I watching the Salang sunset, Tioman. Right before buka puasa.

In KL, our buka puasa's are usually with friends, either at home or outside. But most of the time at our place, K3J. Because we can eat and doze off at the sofat and wake up and eat again until 3 am. Very cyclical, like that. If not pun, right after buka we'll just meet each other for supper. It's been a very, very good Ramadhan.

At SS2's Murni. Excellent peasant Carbonara served here. Why do I say peasant? It's served in a friggin' orange plastic plate and served by a Mamak dude. And must try the Mee Raja pictured above (Spena's recommendation). My sister will be drooling right now. I know.

We had buka puasa at Genting the last Friday. Douglas' Steamboat Place. Nice.

We're getting sick of our "normal" profile pic pose already...I know, very spastic. Venue: Las Carretas, Ampang

Till then, have a nice Ramadhan everyone... whatever that's left of it. And if you guys still need gift baskets - we're still taking orders, browse our site at : www.giftcafe.com.my